All I Have Known
by DreamingPoet1988
Summary: Complete- Edward has had a hard life, when he is hospitalized then moves in with the father he doesn't know everything he's ever known changes. Book worm Jasper is an outcast and doesn't fit in, boyXboy, human.
1. Prologue

AN: ok so let me know what you think? First time writing a slash.

I made some revisions to this. Currently writing the next chapter and will post soon.

Summery: Edward Cullen has had a hard life, when he is hospitalized then moves in with the father he doesn't know and everything Edwards ever known changes. Book worm Jasper Hale is an outcast and doesn't fit in, his twin sister Rose was popular always trying to push him to meet someone.

OK so let's get on to the Prologue….

**~ Prologue ~**

**Emmett POV- May 19, 2010-**

Alice and I sat on the couch across from our parents.

"I know we have a family vacation planed this weekend but we'll have to cancel. I just received a call that my son Edward needs to be hospitalized. I don't know everything yet. He will be arriving at Forks General tomorrow and I plan to spend the weekend trying to make him comfortable. I'm sorry kids I didn't want to cancel…" Alice didn't let him get any farther before she interrupted him.

"Dad don't worry we understand." She said walking over and hugging him. "And try to relax I'm sure Edward will be ok."

"I haven't even seen him since he was 10. He'll be 17 in a few months." Carlisle seemed to be lost in thought. Alice and I exchanged a look. Sighing I began to speak wanting to break the silence. "Dad, do you know what happened?"

Carlisle didn't say anything at first, he just nodded. "I've been informed on some of the things. The police called and e-mailed me pictures of him and that house he was living in. He's going to have to be in long term care at the hospital. But I'm hoping that we'll be able to bring him home soon, somewhere he could feel safe. All I know about his injuries is that he has some burns, broken ribs, scars, and bruises." A small gasp escaped from Alice. I just sat there lost in thought remembering my own horrible childhood and wondering what our brother Edward had to endure.

"When will we meet our brother?" Alice asked. Carlisle looked surprised, when she called Edward our brother. I don't think dad should've be surprised we have always herd about Edward and have even wanted to meet him, though Edward never seemed to want to meet us; he would always come up with stupid reasons why we couldn't fly down and meet him. Was this why? Because he was suffering through a horrible life and didn't want his dad to know?

"Alice, Emmett. I'm unsure when you can meet him. I don't even know when he'll be ready or what condition he'll be in when he arrives." I've never seen Carlisle cry, but now he was on the verge of a breakdown.

"Dad you don't need to worry. Everything will work out. We love you." I said hugging him and then walking out.

The next morning I woke up and mom informed me that dad had already gone to work. Edward arrived at the hospital about an hour ago; the only thing she knew was that his condition was shaky and unstable. I felt sorry for Carlisle while I grabbed my breakfast. Dad was a good man and I never fully understood why he didn't even have partial custody of Edward.

The phone ringing brought me out of my thinking.

"Hello?" I heard my mom ask as she answered.

"Oh, what?"

"Do you want me to come?"

"I'll be right there, love you."

I think this was the first time I realized how annoying it was to hear only ½ of a conversation. I knew something was wrong but I didn't know what. Mom walked into the kitchen to get her purse and keys. "Em, I have to go to the hospital. That was a nurse, Edward went into a coma and Carlisle is with him now." She had tears in her eyes.

"Mom don't worry." I hugged her. "I love you and tell dad not to worry about anything here. I'll take care of everything." And like that she was gone. About 15 minutes later I yelled at Alice telling her that we needed to leave for school.

**Carlisle POV-**

I arrived at the hospital to get everything ready for Edward before he arrived. When he was wheeled into the room I was just finishing up he looked like a dear caught in head lights.

There was a cut on his lip that was healing. His face was covered in bruises that were black and blue. He wouldn't look anyone in the eye, even as they asked him questions. Best description is he was terrified. And I hated them for it, Elizabeth and her sad excuse of a husband Phil. Edward visibly shook when he was carefully lifted off of the gurney and onto the bed. I was unsure if he was shaking from the pain of his injuries or the fact that someone was touching him unnerved him. Edward looked truly panic-stricken; his eyes scanned the room and landed on me. Looking him in the eye for the first time in over six years I felt like I wanted to cry. His emerald green eyes matched my own and for a moment I was happy to see my son. Then my eyes fell to his injuries and I couldn't help the pained expression that took over my face. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he focused his gaze on the hospital room, refusing to look at anyone else.

The nurses left after making sure I had everything I needed. Taking a deep breath I walked towards Edward.

"Edward?" I said not wanting to frighten him more. He looked at me, but didn't say anything. "I'm your father Carlisle. I'm also a Doctor at this hospital." He just nodded not saying anything. "I've missed you son. I'm sorry but we'll have to take x-rays and run some tests. Do you have any questions?"

"No sir, I have no questions." He didn't look me in the eye as he answered. I hated how he called me sir; my guess would be that's what he was forced to call Phil.

We were half way through some test when a look of terror overcame his face and he shut down. I was freaking out, Edward had just gone into a coma and there was nothing I could do to help him.

I don't know how long I had sat by Edwards side before Esme showed up saying nothing as she took a seat next to me putting her hand on my shoulder, her other reaching to touch mine that was on Edwards.

He had four broken ribs, a fractured left ankle. His left knee was shattered, but will heal in time. His body was laced with scars, some scars were even words carved into his body. Edward was 6'1" and 105 lbs. He was just skin and bones, and all I could do was sit there and think of what a horrible father I have been to let this happen. Esme, Emmett and Alice have all taken turns telling me that I am not a bad father and that this wasn't my fault. I sure felt it was, I should have been more persistent to see him even after he told me he didn't want to see me.

We didn't know it then but he would stay in that state for three weeks and two days. Within that time I would hardly leave Edwards side, either Esme, Alice or Emmett would sit with me for hours each day. All three begging me to come home and get some rest. But I didn't, I couldn't make myself leave my sons side.

**AN: so good? bad? Let me know what you think and if I should update. **


	2. Waking up

**AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed this is for you. I made some revisions to the Prologue. Here is chapter 1, I hope you enjoy it. **

**I own nothing the characters that you recognize belong to S.M. **

**Warning this story deals with abuse and is rated M. **

**~Chapter 1~**

Edward POV- Three weeks and two days later. June 11, 2010-

I opened my eyes, blinking a few times at the bright light that greeted me. Looking around I noticed that I was in a white room; I was alone except for a man that was asleep in a chair his head on my bed one hand resting on mine. Something was familiar about this man I just wasn't sure what. I couldn't even remember where I was or how I got here.

Slowly my mind drifted back to sleep…

_I was trying to sleep in the dark and cold basement. I cringed as the door was pulled open and He yelled at me to get up there. I didn't want to go to him. I was tiered of getting hurt, some days I just wished to die. No one would miss me. My own mother says that I'm unlovable and that no one would ever want me. Trying to ignore the pain I made my way up the basement stairs. I barely made it through the door before I was being pushed down and being kicked. He had on his work boots and as they collided with my bare already black and blue body I just laid there. This was my life and there was nothing I could do to change it. My mother stood off to the side laughing as I yelled in pain. They were both drunk I could tell by the awful smell of whiskey that filled the air. I was dragged to a room. This room was set up to look like mine. It had books, games, a soft bed, clothes, everything. The bed had four posts; the sheet on it was stained with blood and other dirt and grime. I couldn't help the fear that rose as Phil yelled at me to get on the bed, he was already undressing. Bile rose from my stomach as I climbed onto the bed. Elizabeth pulled one of my arms to stretch to one corner of bed, using a damp rope she tied it to my wrist and then the bed. She then walked around to the other side and did the same to my other arm. I knew better than to struggle. This had been going on since I was nine. Phil tied my ankles also with a damp rope. I knew what would come next, as Phil climbed onto the bed. I closed my eyes wishing to be anywhere but here. His whiskey breath washed over my face as he leaned into me speaking into my ear. "This is going to be fun boy…" and like that he plunged into me. He gave me no time to adjust as he began to move. My screams filled the air and Elizabeth sat there and watched it was obvious that she was turned on by this. I don't know how long this lasted as I tried to detach from my body. I opened my eyes when I noticed Phil had moved. They were both standing one on each side of me. The smell of smoke filled the air as they lit the ropes attached to my wrists and my ankles. The last thing I remember from that house was the fire alarm going off as flames attempted to consume me. My last thought was at least they are drunk enough to have forgotten to turn off the fire alarm..._

I woke up to voices, but didn't even dare to open my eyes.

"Carlisle" a woman's voice was saying. "You need a good nights sleep, please love. We're all worried about him. But we're also worried about you. You've been sleeping in that chair for over three weeks."

Carlisle that was the man's name, could this be my father Carlisle? If so how did he get here and who is the woman talking to him?

"Esme dear, I'm sorry I can't. He's needed me all these years and I wasn't there. I should have known something was wrong." The man's voice cracked as if he was on the verge of crying. I must have moved because suddenly their conversation ended and the man addressed me. "Edward, can you hear me?"

I figured I needed to open my eyes now and answer. I didn't want to get into any more trouble. I opened my eyes, I slowly scanned the room there sat the man Carlisle, my real father. He looked worried as he waited for me to speak. The woman Esme, I think he called her was beautiful and had tears rolling down her face.

I looked at him slightly surprised to see emerald green eyes that matched my own staring at me. Only he had tears threatening to roll over and fall down his face.

"Um, yeah… yes I can, um… I can hear you, sir." My voice was hoarse as if I hadn't used it in forever. I was thankful as the woman handed me a cup of water.

"Edward I know you've been through a lot but there is a police woman here that needs to talk to you. Do you think you can talk to her?" his voice was gentle and he talked as if I was going to freak out.

"I'm… um what… what would she um… what would I have to say?" Why was I being so stupid? I was 16 years old and was practically a high school graduate.

Finally after an hour of discussion I agreed to meet with this woman. I felt like crawling out of my skin as I waited for her to come into the room and ask the questions she needs to ask. I took the time to look down at the bandages that were wrapped around my wrists. I could see partially healed scars on my arms. There was a machine that had something clear and was attached to my left arm.

A knock on my door interrupted my inspection.

Sighing and taking a big breath…

"Come in." I yelled. The door handle churned and the door slowly opened.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen I'm Casey Jane. I'm here to ask you a few questions if I ask anything you don't feel comfortable with please let me know." She pulled out a pad of paper and a pen and took a seat.

"OK so Mr. Cullen when was the first time Phil and Elizabeth Masen hit you?"

So here it was time for truth I guess?

**AN: Well let me know what you think…**


	3. His story pt 1

**AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed this is for you, I hope you enjoy it. **

**I own nothing; the characters that you recognize belong to S.M. **

**Warning this story deals with abuse and is rated M. **

_~Last Chapter~_

"_OK so Mr. Cullen when was the first time Phil and Elizabeth Masen hit you?"_

_So here it was time for truth I guess?_

**~Chapter 2~**

Edward POV- Same day (June 11) and on wards…-

_Guess now would be the time to tell my sad story…_

"Um… my mom started to drink after her father died. I was four I think. My mom divorced my dad and we moved to Chicago, she kept drinking. I mad her mad. I was being too loud. Her head was hurting. It didn't hurt much. She just pushed me a little and I was able to get the glass out… um her and Phil married when I was 6. I didn't listen and got into trouble. He kicked me. That was the first time he did anything." I stopped talking knowing that I had answered her question and not wanting to say anymore.

Casey Jane looked at me. "Ok Edward, did either of them ever take you to a hospital, with your injuries?"

"No," I said not looking up from my hands that were wrapped in gaze and stuff. "They didn't want to waste the money."

She didn't say anything else as she wrote something down.

"Edward I know you are tiered, but just let me ask you one more question and I'll leave and let you get some rest." She paused for a moment. "When did Phil start raping you?"

My eyes bulged out of my head… She knew, my breathing came is short shallow breaths. The room started to spin. I could faintly hear someone saying No, No, No… over and over again.

I heard the door open and a mans voice telling me I need to calm down and to breath. Finally the room went quiet and I realized it was me who was yelling NO.

I realized the officer was still there, waiting for my answer. "9." I whispered, not caring if everyone in the room heard me.

"Thank you for talking to me Edward. I'll come by later if I have anymore questions. Dr. Carlisle has my number if you need to contact me with any questions. Don't hesitate to call."

And like that she left. I was alone again with Carlisle and the woman Esme. They didn't say anything at first. Carlisle grabbed my file and started to read it. The woman Esme came and sat next to me.

I sat there droning out as Carlisle told me about my injuries and how I will have to remain bed ridden for a few months while I heal. I ate some stew Esme said she made for me. It was amazing and I couldn't stop thanking her. _When was the last time I even had a "home cooked meal"? _ My mother never cooked, she was always too drunk. I was normally the one to cook and I was horrible at it.

My days passed slowly. I just sat there staring at the same boring four walls, I would watch TV sometimes, and sleep. I slept more than I ever had. Carlisle and Esme continued to visit me daily.

About a week after I woke up I let it slip to Esme that I loved to read. The next day when I woke up she had a bag full of books. I couldn't contain the tears that overflowed as I opened the bag and thanked her. I have never owned new books before; she bought me a huge variety of genres, telling me she was unsure what I liked.

Every time Carlisle would come into my room I could tell he wanted to talk about what happened. But I was thankful he understood that I wasn't ready to say anymore than what had already been revealed.

-July 2, 2010-

The sun was shining into my room as I woke up. Rubbing the sleep out of the eyes I stopped and stared at the bandages covering my burns. The burns still hurt some days, and sometimes I could still feel the flames licking at my wrists and encircling my ankles.

Groaning as my stiff body moved I couldn't help the gasp of pain that escaped my mouth. My right leg was still extremely burnt. Carlisle said that the flames made it all the way to my right knee, before authorities were able to get to me.

Yawning I reached over and grabbed a book off of the night table. I had already been through ten of the twelve books that Esme had given me. My current book was about the Civil War, not my favorite genre but the book was interesting.

My door opened and Esme walked in with my breakfast. She refused to let me eat the hospital food so she would show up three times a day with a very delicious meal.

There were two people trying to look around her as she entered. They were young I could tell and I would be lying if I said I didn't breath a sigh of relief when they stayed on the opposite side of the door.

"Good morning Edward. I brought you breakfast." She smiled warmly.

**AN: ok so school in an hour just wanted to get this posted. Please review. **


	4. His story pt 2

**AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed this is for you, I hope you enjoy it. **

**I own nothing; the characters that you recognize belong to S.M. **

**Warning this story deals with abuse and is rated M. **

_~Last Chapter~_

_There were two people trying to look around her as she entered. They were young I could tell and I would be lying if I said I didn't breathe a sigh of relief when they stayed on the opposite side of the door._

_"Good morning Edward. I brought you breakfast." She smiled warmly._

**~Chapter 3~**

EPOV- July 2, 2010

I didn't reply right away. I didn't even look at Esme as she approached me. My eyes stayed locked on the not closed door. The faces of the two strangers threatening to overcome me. The girl looked young; she had a nice face and seemed nice. But the guy that stood next to her. He was built like a bear, and there was a scar that ran from his left eye to his chin. He was indeed intimidating.

Esme must have noticed the fear that was over taking me because suddenly her form was blocking my view of the door. Slowly I lifted my eyes to her face; I still couldn't look her in the eye. I knew Carlisle and Esme worried about that, I overheard them a few days ago talking about me having social problems. I knew they were possibly right, but I didn't want to admit to it yet.

When I didn't say anything Esme started to talk again.

"Those are your siblings." She said gently as she sat down my breakfast and took a seat next to my bed. "The guy is Emmett he turned 18 on June 1st and the girl Alice she just turned 16 on April18th." Emmett and Alice. Now I remember Carlisle saying something about them, many years ago when I was still allowed to talk to him on the phone.

My last visit from Carlisle was when I was ten. That was six almost seven years ago. Carlisle had brought Esme along to introduce me to his new wife. During that visit he told me of a young boy they were going to adopt saying that I would soon have a brother I will have to come visit. The operative word was come, as in leaving my mother and step father to visit them. I wanted to but they (my mother and Phil) wouldn't let me.

"Edward?" Esme asked pulling me out of my own thoughts and back to the real world. "Emmett and Alice are just waiting for me. They are not going to come in if you don't want them to. The three of us are going to the shopping for a few things. Is there anything you need or would like me to get you? I can pick something up for you and bring it back before going home."

"Yeah can you get me a lined notebook and penciles?" I found myself asking before I knew what I was saying. Oh crap why did I say that? I shouldn't have asked for anything.

"A notebook and pencils?" Esme confirmed, smiling at me.

"Um… No... I don't… Esme I don't need anything. I'm um ok… don't want to be any um, trouble. I shouldn't have asked for anything. I'm sorry." My eyes automatically went to the floor as I talked.

I'm such an idiot! How could I ask for that? I could feel my eyes filling up with tears. I didn't want to be punished for asking for something, but I also knew better than to ask for anything.

"No, Edward. It's no trouble at all. Now have some breakfast and I will see you later today dear." She gave me one last warm smile before she exited. Both Alice and Emmett straining around her to look at me, I didn't dare look up as I stared at their feet.

I slowly ate my breakfast of ham and eggs. Then fear of getting trapped in my memories again I decided to pick up my book and continue to read about the bloody war.

I don't know how far I got into the book before I was pulled into a memory.

_The house was dark. This being because Elizabeth had forgotten to pay the electricity bill again. Instead she used the child support money to support her habit of smoking constantly. I was in clothes so old they now sported holes. I tried to be silent as I walked through the dark house._

"_You boy what are you doing?" Her voice came from the couch on my left. Silently I cursed. I was ten feet away from the door to my room (also known as the basement). But no, luck is never with me and by the sound of it she was high as can be. "Do you know why it's dark in here boy?"_

_She was asking me like it was my job? Really? I was a thirteen year old. I envied others from my school that had parents that took care of them. The only thing my mom ever gave me was bruises and scars. I didn't dare move as she came towards me, a lighter and a cigarette in her hands. She was only a few feet from me when she lit the cig. I hated the smell of it and couldn't help the violent cough that escaped me when she blew the smoke right at me._

_She moved faster than I thought possible as she grabbed my wrist and twisted my arm. I fell to my knees with her still holding my wrist. "You didn't make sure the bill got paid. Now look at this we don't have any money to pay for our electricity." Yeah. I thought not looking up from the floor. We have no money because you mother spent it all on drugs and alcohol._

_I didn't say anything as she ranted on about something and me being useless. I've heard it all before and preferred not to hear it again. I tried my hardest to escape into my mind as an assault was made on my body._

_She started with kicking me, still holding my wrist. I'm unsure how long it was till she was bored of that but I soon smelt burning flesh as she placed her lit cigarette on my wrist, on the sensitive part._

_She soon got tired of that and walked away. Yelling at me to get to my room, (aka the basement). As I closed the basement door I could hear thunder starting up. I shivered with cold as I tried to stay warm throughout the Chicago winter._

I must have fallen asleep because suddenly I could hear a man's voice calling out to me. "Edward?"… "Edward son please can you hear me?" slowly I opened my eyes to come face to face with my father, Carlisle Cullen.

"Yeah Carlisle?" I said my voice croaking from sleep. I could literally see him breathe a sigh of relief as I answered him.

"You were screaming in your sleep." He didn't exaggerate on what I was screaming about and for that I was thankful. I could only imagine what I could have been saying while I slept. "I just wanted to check on you. Are you in any pain?"

"Um…" pain? Yes I was in some pain but I was afraid to admit it to him.

"Edward." He said sensing my hesitation. He didn't continue till I looked at him. My eyes meeting his. This is something he had been doing. He wanted me to talk to him and look him in the eye. I have to admit it was difficult at times.

"Pain, only a little today." I said answering truthfully. This caused a frown from Carlisle. As he picked up my chart I became worried.

"Edward, are you having any pain in your lower admen?" He asked in his doctor voice.

"Yeah but it's not too bad." I said trying to shrug it off.

"I was worried about that." Wait he was worried about it? What was wrong with me? He must have seen the look of panic on my face, because he quickly continued. "When you were brought in many of your ribs were broken. It's my belief that a splinter from your ribs has started to bury itself into your appendicitis. It's not too serious just yet. But I believe it would be a good idea to have surgery sometime soon and get this taken care of. Then hopefully we can bring you home, I believe Esme and the kids have your room all ready for you."

Wait he wants me to move in with him and his family. This I didn't understand, why would they want me? I was just a screw up.

Carlisle left me to think about what he had said and a few hours later Esme came back with three notebooks and a handful of pencils and pens.

I couldn't stop thanking her as I tried my best to no cry. An hour later I had written through thirty pages. Sighing I hit the button to call a nurse. Ready to tell them that they could do the surgery that Carlisle wanted me to do.

Carlisle and Esme stayed with me and telling me everything would be alright as I waited for them the get the surgery room ready. Carlisle wouldn't be allowed inside while they operate, since he was related to me and hospital policy and all.

**AN: I want to give a shout out to ****arianawhitlock, please check out her story Trusting Love and its sequel Faith. It's a Jasper Edward Slash and really good. **


	5. The Surgery, A Poem, and a Family

**AN: Thanks so much to those who reviewed, they always make me smile. Don't worry your questions will be answered soon.**

**I own nothing; the characters that you recognize belong to S.M. **

**Warning this story deals with abuse and is rated M. **

**~Chapter 4~**

**Edward POV- **

I handed Esme the notebook that I had been clutching, as a doctor came into the room. I wasn't ready for this. I was afraid to lose myself to the darkness again. I had already lost over three weeks of my life while I laid in the hospital bed in a coma. I was unsure how much longer I would be in the hospital, but I was hesitant to want to leave. I knew once I was checked out of the hospital that I would be moving in with the Cullen's and into their beautiful home surrounded by woods.

I was unsure if this scared me or made me happy. Carlisle and Esme were both very nice to me. But I knew that their children Alice and Emmett lived with them and they are what scared me.

Would they like me, hate me, think that I was trying to replace them or take Carlisle away from them? All these questions and more ran through my head as the doctor talked to Esme and Carlisle about the surgery and other things. Don't ask me what, I wasn't paying attention.

I had seen this doctor walking around the hospital a few times and Carlisle assured me she was the best.

"Hello Edward I am doctor Alyse. I'm going to take good care of you. Are you ready? Do you have any question?" She asked as she finished her conversation with Carlisle and Esme and turning all her attention to me.

"No, I don't have any questions Doctor." I was afraid to tell them that I was scared. I didn't want to be put under and go through surgery.

In a matter of minutes I found myself being helped into a gurney and wheeled off to have surgery, a single tear rolling down my face as I looked over at Carlisle and Esme. In that moment of time I couldn't help but wonder who I would be if it wasn't my mother that had received full custody of me but my father Carlisle Cullen and his sweet loving wife Esme.

The room they brought me to was white and spotless looking. There were endless surgical supplies around an operating table. I was carefully lifted onto it and before I could even count to three I was falling under the spell of the anesthesia that the nurse gently gave me, my last thought was of my mother and wondering if she had ever even loved me like I knew Esme loved her children.

My world became darkness as my mind and body separated themselves, preparing for the surgery my body now had to endure.

**Emmett POV- **

Dad had gone with the doctor and nurses and I entered Edwards's now almost empty hospital room.

"Mom?" I said as I took a seat next to her. She was clutching one of the notebooks I recognized as being one we had just bought for Edward. "Mom?" I said again, wondering if she had heard me.

"Yes sweetie?" she said looking as if she had just been pulled out of her thoughts.

"He's going to be ok mom." I said as I noticed tears threatening to escape from her eyes. "He's safe now."

She just smiled at me cupping my face with one of her hands. I noticed that she did this often when she was worried about something. Her thumb would gently rub a circle on my cheek, passing over my scar as it went.

She nodded one more time and stood, handing me the notebook she held.

"I should go be with Carlisle, will you be ok waiting here?"

"Yes mom I'm fine. Go be with dad. The others are on their way here." I said as I stood up and hugged her.

I only had to wait for ten minutes before Alice came in followed closely by my girlfriend Rose and her twin brother Jasper, who also happened to be my best friend.

"Hey." I said not looking up from the closed notebook that Esme had given me. I could tell that it had been written in and I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to open it.

"Oh, is that one of the notebooks we got Edward? Did he write in it? What does it say?" Alice asked all in one breathe.

"Yeah, Ali its Edwards and I think it has been written in. I haven't opened it though." I said answering her questions as the three of them pulled up some chairs and sat next to me by the window. Rose wrapped her arm around me as she gave me a soft kiss on my lips. Before I could comprehend what was happening Alice had stolen the notebook from me and opened it.

Not even a minute later she was crying and practically shoving the book away from her and to Jasper. Rose, Jasper, and I sat there for a minute while Alice cried. All wondering what to do, it was Jasper who made the decision for us as he opened the notebook to the page that Alice had just been reading.

Softly and slowly Jasper started to read out loud so that we could all hear what was written.

_Waiting for an Angel__ ~ E. Cullen, 7-2-10_

_Every hurtful word they spoke,_

_Every hit and kick I took._

_The nights I laid awake and cried, _

_My only way to escape, _

_Was to hide inside._

_And still, _

_I sat there,_

_Praying for an angel._

_But none came,_

_And the years went on._

_The pain got worst,_

_And their words became my reality._

_And to my eyes,_

_And to my ears,_

_I believed that I deserved the pain nightly. _

_Though this realization didn't stop,_

_My tearful pleas for salvation, _

_From this hell I've had to live through._

_And every night,_

_And every day,_

_I would kneel down and pray._

_Praying for an angel._

_But the angel never shows, _

_My heart slowly beats,_

_As I let my tears freely flow. _

_And my heart is beating slowly,_

_And I feel as if I'm dead,_

_But I guess that,_

_Hearts will never be practical, _

_Until they can be made unbreakable. _

_For mine beaks as my angel is nowhere to be found…_

As Jasper finished reading I couldn't help to notice a single tear that fell from one of his eyes. In that moment I also noticed I too was crying and that Rose had gotten up and went over to Alice. The two women were crying in each other's arms. Without another word Jasper closed the notebook, frowning to himself.

The hour passed slowly as we sat there, none of us saying much since the poem. The poem was beautiful I had to admit. But I didn't like how my own brother had gone through something so bad that he felt the feelings to write that. Yes I know I've never met Edward but ever since the Cullens adopted me I felt as if I should protect others who have been through abuse.

_My parents were 35 when I was born. I came as a complete surprise to them. Neither had ever wanted children and here they were nine months after the "joyful" news I was born. Growing up wasn't too bad. At least that's what I thought growing up. I always assumed that all families were like mine. With parents too busy to even talk to their children. _

_I was eleven years old when I had somehow pissed off my mom. She was in the kitchen making dinner for her and my father; my dinner was just a sandwich, which I had to make myself. I had entered the kitchen in order to ask her to sign a permission slip for one of my classes. I was in fifth grade and we were starting sex education and had to get our guardians/ parents to give permission._

_She wasn't happy with my interruption and before I knew it her had was coming towards me to slap me, it was in the last minute that I noticed she still held a knife in that had. I couldn't move fast enough as the knife sliced through my face, from my eye to my chin, on my left side. _

_That was the first time either of them had ever hit me and I couldn't help but scream as I saw blood dripping onto the floor. I remember my mother yelling at my father to get into the kitchen. Before I knew it I was being rushed to the hospital. _

_I must have blacked out because the next thing I knew I was waking up on a hospital bed, I could feel something covering the left side of my face and a man stood beside me reading a file. _

_The Cullens adopted me months later, after my parents decided to move to France and they made it clear that they didn't even want to try to keep custody of me. Carlisle and Esme became the parents that I could talk to and trust. They made sure always to be around for me and came to all of my football games._

_I was proud to be a Cullen._

**Jasper POV-**

I hated hospitals, everything about them was depressing and the fact that they smell weird didn't help. But here I was in a car with Rose, Alice, and Emmett, on our way to the hospital to wait on news about their brother Edward. I hated going out into public and all three of them knew this, but it didn't stop them from dragging me to the hospital today and the truth is I would do anything for Rose, she's my twin and I love her.

Rose and I are nothing alike, everyone at school loves her. She is beautiful and confident in herself, the fact that she's currently dating the captain of our football team only helped with her image. Not that she cares too much; normally she would just brush the 'popular' people off. Instead she would prefer to sit next to me, Alice, and Emmett at our table during lunch which always surprised me. I mean Emmett being the captain of the football team and all you would think he would rather sit with the populars. But no he always told me that he wanted to sit with me, his best friend. I guess being the first person to befriend the "new kid" was a good decision; Emmett was the best friend you could ask for and a great guy for my sister.

Rather than be out in public I preferred to be curled up with a good book and read. That may be part of the reason I had gotten made fun of at school. Another thing was that my face was covered in acne and my glasses were old looking, but this isn't what stopped me from dating. It's the fact that I am gay which is stopping me. I happen to know I'm one of three gay guys at our High School; the other two are freshmen and had come out together a week ago. I had been out of the closet with my family and friend for three years now, I was lucky that they all accepted me. Currently no one at school knew about my preference.

So how did I get dragged into coming to the hospital today? One word, Alice. She told me that I just had to come today and she wouldn't hear another word about it, I learned long ago that you didn't bet against Alice. So with a sigh I agreed to come with them to the hospital.

Edward's poem was heart wrenching sad, but I couldn't help but notice how well written it was. Esme had come to me a few days ago and asked me about books that Edward may enjoy, but she hadn't mentioned anything about him being a writer, a good writer at that. Sitting there with my sister and two closest friends I couldn't help the pull to want to know Edward.

**AN: Ok so I know that this story is progressing slowly but it will be speeding up very soon. There you have it Navygirl14 and embracingtws Jasper has entered the story, he won't be in it too much for the next two- three chapters. But don't worry there will be plenty of Jasper in the future. :)**

**Please review, they make me happy and make me want to write more. **

**Look for the next update hopefully Tuesday or Thursday, it all depends on my school schedule. **

**"_Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." This is a quote from The Wizard of Oz. Which means I don't own it. The rest of the poem is by me. _**

**Thanks for reading. **


	6. Dream State

**AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I love reading what you all think. **

**As always I own nothing; the characters that we all love belong to S.M. **

**~Chapter 5~**

**Jasper POV- **

I'm unsure how long the four of us sat there. Alice and Rose were still quietly crying when Esme walked in a frown overtaking her features as she took in the two girls crying. Her eyes flashed to the notebook that I was still holding.

"Read another?" Alice asked, her voice cracking from crying. Esme took a seat next to her and looked at me expectedly. I quietly opened the notebook and flipped passed the pages we had just read.

_End… Beginning__~ E. Cullen 7-2-10_

_The End…_

_It's all over,_

_No more pain. _

_Their hurtful words,_

_Their hits & kicks, _

_Are forever gone._

_You don't know how I prayed every day,_

_A song to remember_

_A song to forget,_

_You will never know how much I tried._

_Won't you come & free me from my hell?_

_Can't y_ou lead me away from here?

And under the cover of the blood red moon,

Whisper to me tenderly,

That I'm safe with you…

Lead me to the wishing well,

That's past the dreaming tree,

And under the turquoise waterfall,

There you'll find my sanctuary.

Softly I listen

As rain falls from the sky,

Now my tears flow downwards,

Like the angel's tears from above.

Take away the memories,

And take away my pain.

And if by chance I survive this nightmare,

I could one day be free.

I'm afraid,

So afraid,

Of being raped again and again.

I thought I would die alone and unloved.

Oh, God how I hate what I've become…

I've lived long enough to find myself screaming

With every night.

Praying that the tide will catch me first,

And give me death I've always longed for.

The Beginning…

The pain is still too real,

And my tears just won't dry.

The fire that consumed me,

Is it possible that it killed me?

"It's written backwards." I said as I finished reading. Everyone looked at me confused.

"Well it's obvious," I said wondering how to explain it. "The very first line of it states the end while the last stanza begins with the beginning. The stanzas can be rearranged and read backwards." I couldn't help the amazement I felt after reading this young man's poem, the second one tonight. I couldn't help the pull I felt towards him, I wanted to know him, to be with him, even as a friend. Those thoughts made me criticize myself, how could I be so stupid as to think anything like that. He's been through hell, there's no way he would ever even want to be my friend, let alone anything more.

I must have been lost in thought because I hadn't even notice Carlisle coming in to the hospital room.

"Edward is out of surgery." He said, his voice startling me. "Everything went fine. He's still under the affects of the anesthesia and wont wake for a few more hours. The nurses will be bringing him back here instead of a recovery room. I wanted him to wake up in a familiar room."

"Dad?" Alice's voice rang over the room. She didn't even wait for him to ask her what she wanted before continuing. "Can we see him, when they bring him in? We could leave before he wakes, I would like to meet him." Alice's eyes looked hopeful at her father. A small smile formed on my face as I realized that he like the rest of us couldn't deny Alice.

Slowly Carlisle smiled and nodded. "You can all stay, but only for a few minutes."

I didn't want to admit to it but I was thankful to be allowed to stay. I wanted to see who Edward was; put a face to the wonderful poet.

Alice was practically bounding in her chair by the window when a nurse came in pulling a gurney that had who I assume to be Edward. I didn't know much about Alice, I do know she was adopted at the age of ten and that she was now 16. She didn't like to talk about her past, not that she remembered much of it. The car accident that took her parents lives also took most of her memories and after six years we can assume she will not regain her full memories.

"Alright everyone just stay back, give us some room." The nurses said as they made their way towards the hospital bed. I got my first real look of Edward as two male nurses picked him up. He was tall I could tell, but extremely skinny, only a small portion of his arms were showing and still I could tell her was all skin and bones. My breath caught in my through as I saw his face and I was almost sure I felt my heart skip a beat. Even with the black and blue bruises that still covered his face I could tell he was beautiful. His hair was sticking up in every direction, his skin was pale, even in his sleep he looked sad. I wanted to do everything within my power to help him, to make him smile, to hear his laugh.

"Told you that you had to come with us." Alice whispered in my ear, thankfully no one else noticed that I had been staring at Edward.

Carlisle POV-

I had never felt so utterly helpless as I watched my son, the son that I had just gotten back. Now I was faced with the possibility of losing him in this surgery. His body couldn't take much more and yet there was nothing to be done to stop it. I stood there looking through the window at the three hour surgery, my eyes never leaving the heart monitor that was attached to him.

I was thankful when the surgery was over, but I wouldn't breathe easily until he woke up and I could assure myself that he was ok. I couldn't help but feel that I had failed as a father. How could I not notice the signs of abuse? Edward use to be so happy and full of life and in the last few years he didn't even want to have much to do with me. He was always coming up with so reason why I couldn't visit him and he was always too busy to make time to visit us.

Edward POV-

I could hear voices around me but my eyelids were too heavy to open. I could hear a male's voice talking softly saying something about a poem. I wasn't sure. Not soon enough my eyes fluttered open and I caught a glimpse of an angel, he had blonde hair and captivating blue eyes and he was starting straight at me. Not able to hold on any longer I let the darkness again overcome me as I fell back into the black sea and everything, every sound, every smell, everything disappeared. Everything just became too much and I slipped back into the dreaming state.

**AN: Yes I know its short, but I wanted to get this posted and its already one. I'll post later this weekend. Please review and tanks for reading. **

**The above poem is a mix of my words and song ly**_**rics from… **_**The Poet and the Pendulum (Nightwish), Wander, Don't you Cry (Kamelot), Dreaming Tree (Dave Matthews Band)…**


	7. Decision

**AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorite, and alerted my story.**

**As always I own nothing; the characters that we all love belong to S.M. **

**~Chapter 6~**

**Edward POV-**

Darkness, that's all I could see.

Suddenly a voice spoke.

"You must choose Edward."

_Choose? Choose what? _I thought.

Suddenly the darkness started to pull back letting me view a beautiful garden on the other side of a bridge; I noticed that where I stood was still covered in darkness.

"You must choose Edward Cullen." The voice said again.

_Choose? Why is this voice so cryptic?_ I thought to myself.

"What must I choose?" I said looking around for the voice.

"Life or Death…" I voice calmly said.

_Life or death, was this a trick?_ I asked myself.

"What game are you playing?" I said waiting for a reply.

"You must choose. You can leave earth and all its pain behind; all you would have to do is cross the bridge. If you choose to live you will wake on earth and your life will continue as it was. But you must choose now." The voice demanded.

_I had a choice and I wasn't sure what to do. I hardly knew my father and Esme and their two children. I could hardly stand the nightmares that haunted me every night about what Elizabeth and Phil did to me. I was afraid to live, how was I going to cope with everything, how would I go back to "normal"? But to die, I don't know if I could do that. It was just a few weeks ago that I overheard Carlisle talking to Esme saying how he didn't want to lose me, saying how he loved me. I knew the two choices I had gave me an easy way and a hard way. The hard way made me wonder if I could actually survive and learn to love and trust. The easy way let me into the great unknown, a place I know nothing about._

I made a step towards the bridge leading to the beautifully enchanted garden.

"Edward?" a man voice with me. I turned to see a man. My angel with blonde hair and eyes so blue I was almost sure he could see into my soul. "Edward, please don't leave me." He said when I was fully facing him and the darkness, turning my back from the garden.

Slowly he started to fade. "Angel come back." I found myself saying as I ran towards him, deciding to face the darkness and my unknown future.

I eyes suddenly opened and I found myself staring at the four white walls that I have become use to. The light was dim and looking around I saw Esme asleep on the couch and Carlisle was asleep in the chair next to my bed, his head laying on the bed and one of his hands were gently clutching my own, as if that would keep me here, with him.

"Dad?" I whispered, I received no reply from his sleeping form.

"Dad?" I said a little louder this time slightly squeezing his hand.

This must have woken him because his hand twitched and his head lifted. He still had a sleepy look in his eyes as he woke up, he also looked slightly confused.

"Dad?" I softly said. "I want to go home, please can't we go home?" I stopped as I notice a tear forming in one of his eyes.

He softly smiled, as he began to cry.

"Dad, why are you crying?" I asked, afraid that I had done something wrong.

"You called me dad; it's been so long since I have heard you call me that." He explained as he whipped his tears with a hand. It was then that I noticed he was still holding my hand. He must have noticed at the same time as I because he started to move it. I quickly tightened my grip on his hand. Slowly I looked up from our joining hands and into his watchful eyes and gave him the best smile I could muster, and with my still healing face I'm sure the smile didn't look too great.

"We can go home first thing in the morning, if that is what you want." He said as he in turn smiled.

"Ok dad, goodnight." I said as I went back to sleep, knowing that I will wake up and go to my new home.

"_Wake up boy!" My mother's voice said. I woke up with a start; she was standing right over me and glaring down at me. I shied away from her, curling into an even tighter ball. "Get your lazy self off the floor and clean up the filthy mess you made upstairs." She yelled, then she turned on her heal and marched out. I cringed as I moved, my body was overly sore from last night's beating. I sat for a moment trying to remember everything that had happened, I remember getting the usual hit and kicks. Slowly the memory started to flood back as I remember dropping one of the dishes I was washing. _

_Phil had pushed me, hard causing me to drop and break a dish. "You stupid worthless piece of trash." My mother's voice came from behind Phil. "We house you and cloth you and feed you and THIS is how you repay us?" she yelled stepping in front of Phil and turning her back to me. I dint move as I kept my eyes on the ground. I could hear Elizabeth whispering something to Phil as she undid his belt, pulling it out of his pant loops and handing it to him. "The boy needs another lesson." She sneered before moving away from us and taking a seat at the table and started to finish off her beer._

"_Turn around BOY." Phil yelled, he didn't even give me any response time as he stepped forward and spun me around forcing me to have my back to him. My hands automatically went to the edge of the counter in attempt to steady myself. My body tensed as I waited for the first blow to my bare back._

_I cried out in pain as the belt met my back again and again. I lost track of time and was thankful when he finally stopped. _

_Falling to the floor I coughed, wincing when I saw blood splatter from my mouth, I fainted seconds later. _

I woke up, thankful that my nightmare was over. But my heart was still pounding, my hands were now shaking and I could feel something wet falling down my face.

"Edward?" Carlisle said as his head popped into the room. "Good you're awake. Are you ready to go home? If not you can stay here, you don't have to leave before you are ready."

"I want to leave. I don't want to be in the hospital anymore." I said my voice quivering a little. I guess it would be a lie if I said I wasn't afraid of stepping out of these four walls that I have become so accustom to and felt safe within.

An hour later I found myself in a wheel chair with Carlisle and Esme on our way to their car so that we could go home. I was slightly shaking as I remembered that Alice and Emmett would be there, waiting to meet me.

The drive there was quiet. I sat in back looking out the window at the rain falling down around us. I kept biting my bottom lip out of nervousness. I could help the doubts of what would happen if they didn't like me and all I kept thinking about is how many ways I could mess up. Before I knew it we were pulling up to a beautiful house, surrounded by the forest.

"Welcome home Edward." Esme said twisting in her seat so that she could smile at me.

"Relax son, everything will be ok." Carlisle said as we pulled into the garage and him and Esme got out of the car.

Taking a deep breath I allowed Carlisle to help me into a wheelchair. The three of us entered the house and I could faintly hear two people talking and their voices where getting louder.

"Edward!" I heard a joyful voice say and before I could even blink the young girl I had seen with short black hair was hugging me. I froze, unsure of what to do as I looked at her. Hearing someone else come into the room my head whipped up to see Emmett. He smiled at me and stopped where he was, a good distance away from me. Alice finally finished with her hug backed up. "I'm so glad you came home." She said bouncing in place.

"Edward, this is Alice your sister and that is Emmett your brother." Esme said pointing to both in turn.

"Hey." Emmett said nodding his head in a hello fashion.

"Um… Hello." I said choosing to look everywhere but their faces.

"Why don't we show you to your room so you can rest some?" Carlisle said.

I nodded not knowing how to reply.

**AN: Please review they make me happy. On a side note, I don't have a beta and am trying to go without one, that way I can post faster and not have to wait on anyone. So I'm sorry for any mistakes you may find. **


	8. Home?

**AN: WOW 10 reviews for the last chapter that made me so happy, so this chapter is dedicated to you.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorite, and alerted my story.**

**As always I own nothing; the characters that we all love belong to S.M. **

**Oh and on my profile I have posted a picture of the garden that Edward saw when he was in the dream state last chapter. **

**~Chapter 7~**

**Edward POV- **

Carlisle… or guess I should say Dad rolled me through the house. Pointing out rooms telling me where everything is. We came in through the entry way, to our left was some sitting room and to the right was the living room. Passing both those room we came into an open common area. "The kitchen is through the door to the left and down that hall is my office and Esme's and my room." Dad said as we came to stairs. There's a powder room to our left and the rest of the rooms are on the second floor. The staircase was beautiful and grand looking. Carlisle produced crutches out of thin air and offered them to me.

"Edward all of the other rooms are upstairs." Dad said as we stopped by the stairs. Slowly I stood up from the wheelchair and grabbed the offered crutches, I was still slightly wobbly on them but I was starting to get the hang of them. Carlisle helped me, and slowly we made our way up the stairs and to the second floor.

I came to a stop in a hallway. There were 7 doors that I could see and at the end of the hallway I could see another set of stairs. We slowly started down the hall way.

"This door is Alices and that is the bathroom that Emmett and her will be sharing." He said pointing to the first doors on my right and left. A few more steps and he pointed out Emmett's room. We were almost to the end of the hallway when he stopped in front of a door.

"Edward this is your room and across the way is your bathroom, you will have your own bathroom. The last door is the guest room and the stair lead to an entertainment room for you younger folk." And with that he opened the door to my room.

I let out a gasp as the light came on. The room was big, seemed to be bigger than the entire house I use to live in. slowly I went in, my eyes falling on the big comfy looking queen size bed. One wall was completely covered with bookshelves and most of the shelves I noticed were full. I couldn't help the tear that fell as I "walked" over to the shelves and started to look at the books.

"I hope I got some books that you will enjoy. Emmett's friend Jasper helped me pick them out." Esme said causing me to slightly jump and turn around.

"Um... They look good. I've never had so many books." I said hoping that I didn't sound as stupid as I thought I did.

"Well if you need anything sweetie just let me know." She said giving me a smile and leaving me and Carlisle alone.

"Edward, there is stuff in the bathroom and the dresser is full of clothes as is the closet. I'm afraid Alice may have gone a little overboard shopping, she does that sometimes." He said with a laugh. "I'll leave you to get settled. Is there anything else you need?" He asked as he started towards the door.

"No... Um… I'm ok. Thanks." I said as he left me alone. I looked around the room noticing a TV and a PS3 on one wall, perfect position to sit in bed and watch TV or play some video game.

I skimmed through the clothes and picked out something comfortable to put on as I got ready to go take a shower. Just as I was stepping out of my room with a fresh pair of boxers and some sweatpants and a long sleeve t-shirt, I notice Alice and Emmett coming up the stairs and stopping when they see me.

"Oh Edward." Alice said basically skipping close to me. Emmett must have seen me step back at her approach as he said, "Alice." In a warning tone but still gently.

"Oh yeah sorry." She said stopping and even taking a step back. "Mom wanted us to let you know that lunch will be ready in an hour but if you're hungry now she will get you something. Will you be joining us for dinner or will you be eating in your room? Dad said you may be too tired to socialize with us and may just want to be alone." I was amazed at how fast this little pixy talked. Taking a second I let her words sink in as I looked away from her and to Emmett, his size alone scared me. Knowing she was waiting for an answer I tried to think of what to say.

I was a little tired but I was also sick of staying in bed all the time. Nervously I made up my mind.

"I would like to eat lunch… with um… all of you if that's, um… ok?" Oh great I'm back to sounding like a bumbling idiot I criticized myself as I notice Alice start to jump up and down, clapping her hands, she looked like a kid on Christmas day or something.

"I'm so happy you will be joining us! Oh I should go let Mom know, see you in an hour." And like that she was gone. I smiled at her retreating form until I noticed that I was now alone with Emmett the scary guy with an odd scar on his face.

I couldn't breathe as my entire body began to shake. Emmett's eyes widened as I dropped my clothes and the crutches. My body was swaying and with a shaking hand I grabbed the door frame to my room.

"Edward, please you need to try to breathe and calm down. I think you're having a panic attack. Edward you're safe, I'm going to back up now. I'll let Dad know to come up here ok." Emmett's voice was calm and soft as he spoke to me.

"No!" I said surprising both Emmett and myself as I felt tears fall. "Don't leave me alone… Please." I said as I started to feel my legs give away and my body headed towards the floor.

I lay crumpled on the floor, tears streaming freely down my face for I don't know how long, before I heard Emmett slowly moving towards me.

"Edward?" he said asking a silent question as he came closer to me. I didn't answer as I tried to curl into myself and cry, which I was finding difficult because of the still healing injuries that still littered my body.

"Edward?" Emmett's quiet plead came again as a gentle hand touched my shoulder ever so lightly.

"I'm so tired of being alone." I said as I turned and grabbed onto him. I don't know if I pulled him to me or pulled myself to him, or maybe he pulled me to him seeing as I am still hurt and weak. I think I surprised him as he slowly wrapped me in a hug. I'm unsure how long we stayed like that. He was gently rubbing my upper back and whispering to me that I was safe and everything would be ok.

"My scar is from my mother." Emmett said once my crying had gotten under control. "I was eleven years old when I got it." I pulled back from him so I could look at him. As I pulled back he moved his arms I could tell by his expression that he was trying not to scare me as he went on about how his mom had taken a knife and cut him.

I leaned against the wall as he talked about his stay in the hospital, describing how his parents hadn't even visited him and how they said that they didn't ever even want him. I could see slight tears form as he said his own parents didn't want him, nor did they love him. His face was turned from me; slowly I reached over and pulled his face to look at mine.

"My mother didn't love me either." I said giving him what I hoped was a gently smile.

He didn't say anything as he nodded and stood up, holding out his hand to help me.

"I'm glad you're finally home Edward." He said as I headed towards the bathroom with my stuff.

"Me too." Was my only reply as I walked into my bathroom, gasping at how nice it was. It had a beautiful glass shower, tow sinks, and a huge tub that looked as if even Emmett could fit in it, and a toilet. I managed to find some towels; I held them for a few minutes enjoying how soft they were. The showers water felt good on my body as I let the warm water flow over me. When I got out of the shower I couldn't help but look in the mirror.

The cuts on my face were still there leaving little light scars. The bruising looked to be fading, all over my body and my ribs were exactly where they should be and not sticking out in an odd way. I noticed little scars littering my body and slowly traced a few of them. My ankles matched my wrists as I noted the burn scars I will carry the rest of my life. Once I was dry I put on some boxers and sweatpants, following that I pulled the shirt over my head, lastly I slipped on socks completing in covering up my body and the scars I had. Well all except my face, there was nothing to be done about that. I tried for about 15 minutes to calm my hair down, but was unsuccessful as it wanted to go ever which way. Sighing out of frustration I decided to leave it as I exited the bathroom and made my way down the hall and started the slow descent down the stairs.

**AN: Ok so I hope you enjoyed it. I won't be able to update again till late Thursday or Friday sometime. Please review. **


	9. Memory

**AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, sorry for such the long wait my weeks are crazy with school.**

**This is a very short chapter but I wanted to post it and will post the second half tomorrow or Sunday depending on if I feel encouraged to write. :)**

**As always I own nothing.**

**~Chapter 8~**

**Edward POV- **

The smell that met me when I finally got to the ground floor was mouth watering. As I made my way past the entryway and towards the kitchen I spotted a beautiful grand piano in one of the rooms I was passing. It was black and looked to be in good condition but it was sitting in the corner like no one ever played it.

I don't even remember crossing the room and suddenly my hand was only inches from the white and black keys. I wanted to touch it to hear the beautiful melody from the keys. My freshman year of high school I had taken a piano class, I had only been in class for two months before Elizabeth and Phil had found out and made me drop it. My teacher had said that I was a natural and when I got "home" that night I learned that he had called Elizabeth and asked if he could give me extra lessons. She wasn't happy that someone "interrupted her busy day." The next day I was moved out of that class per Elizabeth's request (more like demand).

Slowly but expertly my fingers pressed down on a key. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as the perfect note rang out over the room. I soon found myself sitting on the piano bench playing the only song I could remember on piano. The songs called Memory it's from Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical CATS…

_Daylight  
I must wait for the sunrise  
I must think of a new life  
And I musn't give in  
When the dawn comes  
Tonight will be a memory too  
And a new day will begin_

Burnt out ends of smoky days  
The stale cold smell of morning  
The streetlamp dies, another night is over  
Another day is dawning...

The lyrics played through my head as I played the song on the piano. It wasn't until I was finished that I realized I had only hit 4 or 5 wrong notes. Not bad considering my lack of teaching and that it had been two years since I last touched a piano.

"That's very good Edward. I didn't know that you could play." A voice said from behind me. Turning I saw Carlisle leaning against the door frame. I could feel my heartbeat start to quicken, I was unsure if anyone was allowed to touch this piano and it's in this moment that I realize I shouldn't have. Carlisle must have seen a look of panic cross my face because he quickly added, "The piano was my fathers. Your grandfathers, though I doubt you remember him, he died when you were four. You use to sit on his lap with him and play. I remember him saying what a natural you would be when you got older. You are welcome to play it any time he left it for you in his will, it's the reason we have kept it for so long."

A smile crossed my face as I realized Carlisle was saying the piano was mine. "Thank you." Was all I could say as I got up off of the bench and grabbed my crutches. "Is lunch ready?" I asked noticing for the fist time today that I was actually starving and whatever was for lunch smelled delicious. As I took a seat at the round glass table Carlisle handed me an envelope saying that it came in the mail.

Confused, I opened it and pulled out the first thing in the envelope.

Dear Mr. Edward Anthony Cullen…

**AN: please review :)**


	10. Good News

**AN: THANK YOU everyone who reviewed last chapter, all of your reviews made me happy. I can't believe that I have 95 reviews for this story, 30 favorites, and 52 Alerts. **

**I own nothing. **

**~Chapter 9~**

**Edward POV- **

_Dear Mr. Edward Anthony Cullen,_

_ Let me be the first to congratulate you in your completion of your high school education. Enclosed is your diploma, I'm sorry that you were unable to attend graduation and I hope things are looking brighter for you. _

_ In a separate letter I have included information on a handful of colleges that are interested in your enrollment, whenever you are up to going on to a higher education. _

_ Sincerely,_

_ Principal Keith Allen Jacobson _

I handed the letter to Carlisle's waiting hand as I pulled out my diploma. A single tear rolled down my face as I read it. _ I did it. _Was my only thought as I read it a few more times, I looked up and saw Esme, Emmett, and Alice all staring at me.

Beautifully engraved in the color gold on nice cream paper was my full name, the name of my school, and my graduation date, July 1, 2010 it read and I smiled as I noticed that I had officially graduated two days ago, today was July 3rd, tomorrow would be the 4th of July and I was not looking forward to it. I still didn't like fire after what happened.

I turned the diploma around to show my families waiting faces.

"It's my diploma, I succeeded in graduating a few days ago." I said as Esme grabbed it from me.

"Son I'm so proud of you." Carlisle said as he handed me back the letter from my principal. "Why don't we do a nice dinner tomorrow? I can pick up something to-go from a restaurant and bring it home." He added the last bit quickly when a look of panic crossed my face.

"Ok." I said after a few minutes. Nervously I started to bite my lower lip. Esme must have noticed this as she started to pass the dishes of food around.

Everything looked amazing. There was a salad, rolls, some fruit dish, and beef stew. The stew was just right for the cold weather we were having. I'm unsure how much I ate as I finished all of the food on my plate; I was barely done with my first helping when Esme was shoving more food onto my plate. The conversation flowed easily and I learned a few things, like how Emmett was the star quarterback in his football team, he was also dating the head cheerleader and had been with her for three years. Alice was a force to be reckoned with and loved to talk, she had a passion for fashion and that's what she planned to do with her future. She would be a junior this coming school year and Emmett would be a senior. I could tell that they wanted to ask me questions, but I could also tell that they didn't know what to say to me.

We sat in silence for a few minute before Emmett spoke up.

"Dad, can I go over to Rosie's house for 4th of July activities?" Emmett asked. When dad raised his head to look at Emmett he added. "After we have dinner here?" Finally after a moment Carlisle nodded. "Thanks dad. Mom can I be excused I need to let Rose know." With a nod from Esme he ran out of the room and up the stairs. Alice let out a little giggle after he was gone.

"They'll be engaged by graduation." She said as she picked up her plate and Emmett's plate and took it to the sink. I looked between Esme and Carlisle who both wore expressions of surprise at her words.

After finishing up everything on my plate I cleared my thought. Wondering how I could ask to be excused.

"Edward, son? How are you feeling? Maybe you should get some sleep?" Dad asked. I was thankful for his easy out. Nodding I thanked Esme for the food and grabbed my crutches. I made a move to grab my plate when Esme stopped me telling me that she would get it and it wouldn't be any trouble. I slowly started my departure from the room and up the stairs. I made it to my room in ten minuets and by the time I was in front of my door I was panting and my legs were killing me. I closed the door behind me; I still couldn't believe that I was in my new home with my father and my new family, and I had my own room.

I put my crutches against the wall and got into my four-poster queen sized bed. I fell asleep instantly on the soft mattress, I felt like I was sleeping on a cloud.

**AN: please review. **


	11. The Past

**AN: THANK YOU everyone who reviewed last chapter, all of your reviews made me happy. I'm at 103 reviews, I'm so happy.**

**I own nothing.**

**~Chapter 10~**

**Edward POV- July 3, 2010 Night…**

_The darkness surrounded me…_

_With every hit I would scream._

_With every kick I would beg forgiveness for anything I did or in some cases didn't do._

_The scene before me changed. I was 10 years old and holding a new baseball that my dad had just bought for me. I was having a great day with him and his new wife Esme. I was afraid as we started the drive back to Elizabeth's home._

_The house smelled horrible as I opened the door. "Boy." Elizabeth's yell came from the living room as the front door closed. I cringed as I heard her voice slur, she was without doubt drunk. Trying to calm my shaking form I walked into the room she occupied. There were countless empty bottles thrown about the room. _

"_What's that?" She said, grabbing the ball from me. The way she sneered when she saw what it was made me want to cry, I knew I wouldn't be getting it back. Her number one rule is no toys; she says I don't deserve them because I'm bad._

"_Is this from your father?" Her voice was harsh and I knew a beating was coming, after her speech. She didn't wait for a reply as she continued. "Stupid, stupid boy, Do you think that your father loves you?" Stupidly I nodded to her question. That earned me the first slap of the night._

"_You boy are not loved. Your daddy is replacing you, he doesn't want you. All you do is screw up his life, you are a disgrace and no one loves you." Her words hurt more than the abuse my body went through that night. _

_I didn't want to believe her hurtful words, but I was only 10 and she is my mom. Wouldn't her words be true?_

_Years later Phil came into my room. "Edward son your father is on the phone." His kind voice was surprising me until I notice the phone in his hand he didn't want Carlisle to know anything. The look in his eyes as I took the phone told me that my punishment would come later that night._

"_Hello?" I asked into the phone._

"_Hello Edward, it's your dad." He sounded happy I noted as I waited for him to finish. "Esme and I would love it if you came for a visit this summer, you'll be on summer break in two weeks and we would like you to come meet your new sibling, you have an older brother named Emmett whom would really like to meet you..." He continued to tell me about Emmett. My thoughts went to how my mother was right, I had been replaced by someone else, someone better. I decided that I should just stop ruining his life. _

"_No, Carlisle, I'm busy this summer and I don't want to come and visit." I said as I felt my heart break._

_Elizabeth and Phil's beatings got worst and I had to always come up with reasons not to accept any visits from Carlisle. That night as punishment I found myself lying on a soft four poster bed. My clothes had been thrown to the ground, scanning my body I saw black and blue bruises all over my body. Tears were running down my face, this was nothing new to me. I was 14 and this had been going on for a while, still I couldn't help the fear I felt as the door creaked open. _

My screams filled the air…

**Carlisle POV- July 4, 2010**

I was sitting in my study, attempting to do something with all the paper work I had accumulating on my desk. But I couldn't help my mind from wandering. It was 5:00 am and I was unable to sleep any longer…

_Edward was only five when Elizabeth and I had divorced. I had just finished medical school and was doing ok working full time. Financially I helped provide for him and he didn't go without anything he needed. Elizabeth and I were sitting in a court room waiting for a judge to help settle our custody dispute._

"_Elizabeth Mason." I judge said as she walked in. "I was informed of your plan to move to Chicago in a few weeks and that you are requesting full custody of your son."_

I rubbed my eyes and shook my head trying to get rid of the bad memory.

_Elizabeth's request was granted and I was told that I would be paying 1,200 in child support each month. I would only have visitation rights to see Edward two times a year._

Needless to say I blame myself for not seeing the pain Edward had been going through. I'm a doctor I should have seen the signs.

A scream echoed through the house causing me to jump out of my chair, I was out the door and up the stairs before I even know what I was doing.

**AN: sorry for the short chapter. Its 1:30 am I'll update soon. Please review they make me smile. **


	12. Jasper

**AN: THANK YOU everyone who reviewed last chapter.**

**~Chapter 11~**

**Carlisle POV- July 4, 2010**

A scream echoed through the house causing me to jump out of my chair, I was out the door and up the stairs before I even know what I was doing. I stopped dead in my tracks as I opened Edwards's door, his screams grew louder the closer as the door opened more. I scanned the room for him, he wasn't in his bed and I was worried something was truly wrong. He was curled up in a corner of his room, clutching a pillow as if it was the only thing keeping him here. His eyes were closed and I was almost certain he was having a nightmare.

The sight of my son curled up like that screaming was heart wrenching, he looked so fragile, so beaten and scared, so young. I wanted so badly to be able to hold him, tell my son that I was sorry. I wanted to take all his pain away.

"Edward?" I called out trying to wake him but not startle him, as I stepped towards him, into the room. He didn't reply. "Edward son, please wake up. Its over it's just a nightmare." By now I was only about a foot from him, slowly and gently I reached out and shook him. "Edward, please wake up."

His body went rigid and I knew he was awake. His eyes slowly opened. He looked like he did when he first came to the hospital. He was frightened, his breathing coming in quick shallow breaths. I stepped back hoping that would help him clam. Once he seemed somewhat calm I asked him what was wrong.

**Edward POV-**

I was laying on the floor to my room, I was crammed into a corner, clutching a pillow to me. I could feel my hair sticking to my forehead from sweat. I blinked at Carlisle; I knew I had done something wrong. I didn't want to be punished; I wanted to be a good boy. I wanted to be loved. I could see Esme, Emmett, and Alice in my doorway all looking at me. I didn't understand their expressions, they didn't look too mad, but I knew better. "What happened?" Carlisle asked gently. "I'm sorry sir…" I mumbled. "I didn't mean to be bad." I thought I saw a tear roll down his cheek but I wasn't sure as my own tears started to flow.

"Edward son, you are not bad you are a wonderful young man." His voice was shaking as he spoke to me. "Do you remember what happened? Do you know why you are on the floor?"

"The bed… it's um, too much….." I couldn't get the words out. How was I supposed to tell them that the bed looked so much like the one that stared in all my nightmares?

"Oh dear, it's the bed frame isn't it?" Esme said coming closer into the room. I didn't say anything, just nodded as I started to shake.

The pone ringing caused me to jump and back into the corner more, if that was possible. "Hello?" Emmett's voice said as he answered the phone. "Hold on." He said brining the phone away from his ear. "Dad it's for you, it's the hospital and they say that it's an emergency." Carlisle looked at me as if he didn't want to leave; he whispered I'm sorry before getting off the floor and walking towards Emmett and taking the phone from him, stepping out the door as he did so. I took that time to sit up putting my back against the wall, hugging my knees to myself.

"That was the hospital there was a huge pile up on the freeway. They need every available hand." Carlisle said as he kissed Esme. "Edward well fix you bed when I get home, sorry son I have to go." He stopped still looking at me. "Go… I'll be… I'll be ok." I said noticing everyone looking at me.

Everyone left and I was alone. When I went to stand I realized just how weak my legs were and with a soft yelp I fell back onto the floor shaking.

A knock on my door made me look up as Emmett stepped into the room. "If you want I can ask my friend Jasper to come and help me take down the bed frame, he helped me put it up." I started to shake. He wanted to invite a stranger over here, "you won't even have to see him. He'll just come in and help then he'll leave." Biting my bottom lip I nodded.

**~Time Pass~**

We decided that Jasper would come over in the afternoon after lunch. I was surprised at how certain Emmett seemed at saying Jasper wouldn't have other plans and would be free to help. I was now sitting in the room with the piano, the door was closed and I was trying to keep my breathing under control as I heard a knock on the door.

"Jazzy!" I could hear Emmett yell as the front door opened.

"Em man!" the other said, his voice was softer, almost musical to me. I was at the door to my sanctuary cracking it open before I even knew what I was doing. All I could see was Emmett's back as he ran up the stairs. The other man Jasper also had his back to me.

I could see beautiful curly blond hair; he was lean but not too skinny. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs as if he knew I was looking at him. Slowly his head turned around and I saw the most beautiful blue eyes, for a moment it looked as if he would say anything. "Jasper, come on." Emmett's yell from upstairs caused him to turn from me and run up the stairs two at a time. I quickly closed the door and walked back over to the piano.

I let my fingers run over the keys as time slowly passed. It was almost an hour before I heard Emmett and Jasper come down the stairs and a part of me wanted to open the door and see him again but I couldn't. I was too afraid for him to see me, he was beautiful and me, I was ruined and ugly.

"He's gone Edward, you can come out now." Emmett said knocking on the door.

It was four and by this time I was exhausted we had all been up since before six in the morning and I think all of us were tiered. I thanked Emmett and made my way out of the piano room and up the stairs, clutching my crutches tightly praying that I wouldn't fall as pain shot through my body. That's when I realized that I hadn't taken any of my pain medication. Making it to my bathroom I swallowed two then looking at the prescription I shrugged and took two more, figuring I would be fine since I hadn't taken them earlier. I hobbled to my room and looked in. My bed looked good without the frame and I was thankful as I crawled into it. I grabbed the bottle of my sleep medicine and opened it popping two of them. Waiting for them to start to work.

**AN: I hope you all enjoy it. Next chapter may be up tomorrow if I get any good reviews and it may even have some of Jaspers POV. Does anyone want to read Jaspers POV?**


	13. Esme

**AN: THANK YOU everyone who reviewed last chapter. This may be my last update for the weekend, I just got a second job so I'll be working 40 hours a week and going to school. But I'll update Friday or Saturday. **

**~Chapter 12~**

**Edward POV- July 4, 2010**

I woke up with a start and found myself stumbling my way to the bathroom before emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet. My body was shaking as I was putting all my weight onto my knees, I could feel my body wanting to give away as I threw up again. My body felt like it was on fire as sweat gathered on my brow. I heard the bathroom door creak open and Esme come in asking me if I was ok. I didn't answer her; I just shook my head no that I was not ok. I wasn't even aware of how close she was to me before she gently ran a hand through my hair resting it on my forehead.

"Edward you're burning up." She said as she moved her hand and started opening draws. I wasn't sure what she was looking for but I heard the water go on and then off. Gently I felt her place a wet washcloth on my forehead and softly running it over my face in an attempt to cool me off.

I got sick four more times with Esme there and each time she would tell me it was ok and that I was going to be fine. After about an hour Esme picked up my medicine bottle and opened it.

"Edward sweetheart?" she gently whispered and waited for me to turn to look at her. "How many of these did you take at one time?"

I started to chew on my bottom lip as tears gathered in my eyes. "I… um, I took four…" the tears started to freely flow as I added. "I'm sorry. I thought it would be ok. I… I um… took it with um… I took two sleeping pills with them…" my now I was crying and my voice was breaking and I wasn't even sure if she could understand me.

"Sweetie, you are not in trouble. But I think I'm going to have to take your pills and monitor you, are you feeling any better son?" The tears just started to flow more when she called me son and gently put her hand on my face. In that moment I felt almost loved, Elizabeth's touch was never gentle like this. I was still crying and a part of me wanted to hug Esme to feel more of her gentle touch. But I didn't, I couldn't.

What if this was all an act?

What if Carlisle and Esme were really like Elizabeth and Phil?

I couldn't let myself trust them too much; my mother's words still haunted me. I could now see that she was right and that I had been replaced, they loved Emmett and Alice and I was just a bother to them. They didn't want me, no one wanted me. That's when I pushed her away, rejecting her gentle touch. She looked slightly hurt when I looked at her, but she didn't try to touch me again, instead she got up from her spot on the floor.

"Dinner will be in about an hour are you feeling well enough to join us? Or would you prefer to be left alone?" She sounded unsure as she asked and I wasn't sure what the correct answer would be. I nervously ran my hand through my hair as I thought about the correct answer. "I, I…. want to eat dinner with… With your family."

As she left I thought I heard her say something about it being my family too, but I couldn't be sure if I heard her correctly.

When I stepped out of the bathroom I noticed my crutches leaning against the wall. I was grateful to see them there and I was almost sure that Esme must have placed them there. I went to my room and opened my closet figuring I should get dressed, seeing as my clothes were wrinkled and messed up from sleeping in them. The clock in my room read 6:20 and Esme told me dinner would be around seven, I contemplated taking a shower after I grabbed clean clothes. Deciding that a shower would be the best I balanced my clean clothes and hobbled on my crutches back to the bathroom. I had only been out of the bathroom for fifteen or so minutes but Esme had been in there and the evidence of me getting sick earlier was completely washed away. I silently thanked Esme as I started the shower and after checking that the door was locked I started to take off all my layers of clothing.

The warm water felt good running down my slowly healing body as I gently washed myself with the prescription soap Carlisle get me that would help me heal he said. I'm not sure how long I was in the shower but by the time I stepped out the entire mirror was fogged up and thankfully I couldn't see myself in it as I dried myself off and started the routine of covering up all evidence of my scars. Taking a deep breath I headed out the door and down the stairs, Carlisle had just gotten home by the look of things and smiled at me when I walked in.

**AN: yes another short chapter but I'm trying to get them out of the way and get into the actual j/e part of it. I will be doing Jasper POV in the next chapter promise. As always please review they make me happy and encourage me to write more. **


	14. A Note

**AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, I can't believe I have hit 150 revies. This is for you, please keep them coming. Sorry I was unable to update sooner, I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

**I own nothing the characters that you recognize belong to S.M. **

**~Chapter 13~**

**Edward POV-  
**  
Through dinner Carlisle filled us in on the accident that happened right out of town, he also informed Emmett and Alice to be careful tonight driving. The dinner was good; bread, salad, and pasta of all different kinds covering the table, dad told me that the nicest place in town is an Italian restaurant. I tried a little of everything and enjoyed every mouthful as well as the last. The conversation easily flowed as Carlisle asked us how our day was. Alice jumped to answer first, stating that her day was great because she was able to finish this skirt she had been working on, but since its finished she now has something amazing to wear to the party she plans to attend tonight after dinner. Esme told him how she had done some gardening and is helping a Mrs. Newton sometime next week with redecorating her living room. Emmett explained that him and Jazz had taken the bedframe apart and just left the bed with no headboard or footboard. Then he went on to say that they had plans tonight at nine and it was already 8:15. At this Carlisle just nodded, "Ok kids go and do your thing," With that Alice and Emmett were out of their seats and all but running to their cars. "But be careful and no drinking." Carlisle said to their retreating backs and I was almost certain neither of them herd him as a door slammed behind them and two cars roared to life and sped off down their driveway. Leaving Carlisle, Esme, and me still sitting at the table.  
"Edward how was your day?" Carlisle said turning his complete attention to me. I stumbled to find words knowing that I had to tell him about taking too many pills but not meaning to overdose. I wanted to tell him I was sorry for doing that and that I wouldn't ever do it again, but I couldn't tell him all that. I knew Esme would have told him everything and I sat there waiting for the punishment I knew I would have to endure now that it was just the three of us alone in their house.

**Jasper POV-  
**  
My phone ringing woke me up.  
"What?" I yelled into my phone as I answerd whomever was calling me, before the person could reply my clock caught my eye. "It is 7:20 in the morning why the crap are you calling so early?"  
"Jazz, its Emmett," He said trying to calm me. It was nothing new that I wasn't a morning person. "I need you to come over this afternoon and help me take down Edwards's headboard and footboard. He had a nightmare last night that woke the entire house and dad would help but he got called into work and I would like to get this done, he looks like he could use some more sleep."  
"Ok Em when would you like me over there?" I said with a slight hope of getting a glimpse of Edward, my beautiful angel.  
I was starting at the clock again as I waited till it was time to go to the Cullen's house and help Emmett. It was barely after noon and we had agreed for me to come over at 3:00. Rose didn't say much when I told her about going over to help Em with Edward's bed. She had been like this since our mothers death almost two years ago, we were barely sixteen when it happened. I hated to see her like this just quiet and withdrawn for people, she was able to fake it and fool some people but not me. I wasn't sure how to help her and even though the two of us and our father were attending therapy sessions I wondered if they were doing any good at all for Rose. I was glad that at least she had Esme and that Esme was able to help Rose through some things.  
Finally it was 3:00 and I found myself on the Cullen's doorstep waiting for Emmett to answer the door. This was new to me since I usually would just walk in; I guess with Edward living there they wanted him to feel safe.  
"Jazzy!" Emmett yelled as he through open the front door.  
"Em man!" I couldn't help but yell as I stepped into the house. Almost as soon as the door closed Emmett was running up the stairs. I started to follow him but stopped at the bottom of the stairs as I felt as though I was being watched. Slowly I turned my head and my eyes locked with the most striking pair of green eyes. I wanted to say something to him this angel, but I couldn't find the words. He looked way better than he had while in the hospital and from where he was standing he was bathed in sunlight. "Jasper, come on." Emmett yelled from upstairs and I was turning to go, as I noticed that the sun disappeared and instead of being covered in sunlight Edward was covered in darkness. I didn't like seeing the darkness surround him and a part of me wanted to go to him. Giving him a small smile I turned compleatly and ran up the stairs taking two at a time.

Quickly we began to remove the sheets and the mattress so that we would be able to take off the headboard and footboard. It wasn't hard but it being a queen sized bed Emmett couldn't lift it himself.  
"So Jazz what took you so long to get upstairs?" Emmett asked as we moved the headboard out of the way.  
"I saw Edward." I answered carefully knowing there was a reason Edward was hiding. Em didn't say anything as we started on the footboard.

Soft piano music made me stop and look up. Emmett must have noticed my reaction because he also stopped.  
"That's Edward; supposedly he is good but hasn't had much practice." Em said nonchalant about it, though that shouldn't have surprised me since he wasn't that much into music. But me, well I enjoyed music. Music was a love my mother taught me at a young age. She was always singing to me all her favorite country songs, her southern drawl coming out extra heavy when she did. We lived in Texas till Rose and I turned 7 and then our dad got a job in the town he grew up in Forks, Washington. The town was small and rainy with hardly any sun and I hated it. School especially sucked as I got picked on constantly. Emmett stuck up for me one day and we have been best friends ever since. Emmett and I fisnished removing the footboard and put the bed back together, along with the sheets and pillows.

It was almost four by the time we were done. Before I left I grabbed a piece of paper out of Edward's desk and my favorite book off of his bookshelf. It suprised me when Esme had first called me telling me that she was getting Edwards room ready and didn't know what books to buy him. She then asked me if I would go with her and pick out books for him since Emmett wasn't a fan of reading she couldn't really ask him.

_Edward-_  
_This is one of my favorite series and I made sure Esme got it for you, maybe if you read it you can one day tell me what you think about it._  
_-Jasper_

I left the note on the book and set them by his bed. Then Emmett and I went down stairs, I wanted so much for Edward to come out, or even just peak out. I would do anything for another look at my angel.  
My angel? Why do I keep saying my? He wasn't mine and from what I knew about what happened to him, he would most likely never be mine.  
I said goodbye to Emmett knowing that I would see him later that evening. With one last look at the door I knew Edward was hiding behind I left, jumped into my car and drove away.

**AN: ok so it's not that long but i hope to update again late tonight or tomorrow. Just wanted to get this out. Please review and if there are anything you would like to see happen please let me know. :)**


	15. Moving On

**AN: Thank you to all my reviewers, I try to reply to all the reviews but if yours somehow gets skipped I want to say THANK YOU. The reviews make me want to write and when I want to write you get another chapter. Though the bad news is that I now work 40 hrs a week with night classes M-TH so updates will continue to be on the weekend. **

**~Chapter 14~**

**Edward POV- **

"Edward how was your day?" Carlisle said turning his complete attention to me. I stumbled to find words knowing that I had to tell him about taking too many pills but not meaning to overdose. I wanted to tell him I was sorry for doing that and that I wouldn't ever do it again, but I couldn't tell him all that. I knew Esme would have told him everything and I sat there waiting for the punishment I knew I would have to endure now that it was just the three of us alone in their house.

"I didn't mean to do it. I'm sorry sir I won't do it again…" I stammered out when I realized he was still waiting for my reply to his question. My body was starting to shake as I held in my tears. I knew the tears would just make the punishment worst. Elizabeth and Phil always got angrier at me whenever I would cry. I remember Elisabeth slapping me, telling me to stop being a baby and stop my crying, I was only 6 at the time.

"Edward you are not in any trouble, I just got worried when I heard about what happened." His voice was soft and slowly I raised my eyes to his. I'm sure surprised shone through my eyes as I noticed the only emotions I could see from him was love and concern, and I think that it was directed to me. He continued when he noticed I wasn't going to say anything. "I don't want you to hurt yourself Edward. You are not in any trouble son, I love you."

I didn't know how to reply to his seemly simple statement. Of course he had told me that he loves me, he had said it to me ever since I showed up in Forks. When I didn't say anything back to him he let out a soft sigh.

"I think I'm going to head to bed. Do you need anything before I go?" He asked as he stood from the table.

"No, Dad I'm fine I don't need anything." He smiled at me as he turned to leave. "Dad?" I said so softly I wondered if he would have been able to hear me. "Thank you." I said when he looked at me. And then like that he was gone.

After thanking Esme for cleaning up our mess I grabbed my crutches and slowly made my way up stairs to my room, figuring since I wasn't really tiered that some reading might be nice. Making my way to my bookshelf I noticed a book sitting on the little table by my bed. I walked over to it confused because I was almost positive it wasn't there yesterday. I noticed a note on top of the book and picked it up.

_Edward-_

_This is one of my favorite series and I made sure Esme got it for you; maybe if you read it you can one day tell me what you think about it._

_-Jasper_

His handwriting was neat I noted as I placed the note back onto the nightstand and looked at the book. _**Full Moon Rising ( Riley Jensen, Guardian, Book 1) By: Keri Arthur. **_Reading the back of the book I shrugged as I crawled onto my bed and opened to page one. Three pages later I was hooked and completely entwined into the book as I read late into the night. As I finished the book and closed it I realized that it was almost midnight and that I had been reading for almost four hours, though this shouldn't have surprised me seeing as I finished a 416 page book.

Stretching I grabbed my crutches as got out of bed, heading toward the bookshelf to put the book away. I still couldn't believe how many books I had as I looked for the Riley Jensen series. I found them at the far left of the bookshelf after noticing that they had been alphabetized by the last name of the author.

The next day as I was making my way down the stairs when I noticed all the family pictures hanging on the wall, I stood there frozen when I saw pictures of me intertwined with their family photos. Though where theirs showed them growing, mine was of me as a baby leading up to when I was ten. Carlisle always made sure to get pictures when he would come to visit me two times a year. I continued my decent down the stairs and there at the bottom was a frame with a collage of pictures. The pictures were of Alice, Emmett, and me. On the frame under the pictures it read Out Children. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as I saw it, even as I pushed him away, Carlisle mixed me with the rest of his family. He made me a part of him family, he made room for me in his home and he loved me.

_The rest of July passed quickly._

We would eat dinner as a family almost every night, though Dad would miss some nights because he would have to work. Our conversations were that of everyday stuff, seeing as I was still refusing to tell them what exactly had happened. I was still trying to adjust to this new life and found myself usually in my room with my nose in a book off in some far away world. I still had Jaspers note, though I hadn't seen him since that day. There was something about the blonde stranger that intrigued me. Emmett has been spending a lot of time at Jaspers house along with Rose, Em's girlfriend. Though I preferred to stay away from the family and be in my room I did observe everyone, how they acted and how they interacted with one another. Alice was busy hardly staying in the same place for ten minutes. I found the only time that she would sit still was when challenged in a chess match. I had learned two weeks after coming home that no one in the family would play Alice at chess, claiming that she must be clairvoyant or something. That's when we started to play, sometimes I truly believed she was clairvoyant, but she also liked to tease me calling me a mind reader at times because I seemed to be able to block her moves sometimes. Emmett and I would play on his PS3 this game called SoulCaliber 4, I was starting to realize how competitive both of my adopted siblings were. While I had never owned a PS3 I found that it was quiet easy to learn to play and found that I enjoyed playing SoCal.

~ Today was August 13th it was 11:00 a.m. ~

I was sitting in my room like I normally do when there was a knock on my door. The entire family had a habit of knocking before entering and I was finding that I liked that. I liked being able to know if someone is coming in.

"Come in." I said with slight authority in my voice. Something I had been working on, I didn't want to be a scared little kid any longer.

"Edward I was hoping that we could talk." Carlisle said as he entered my room. I must have had a slight look of fear on my face because Carlisle quickly continued. "I would like you to consider going into a counselor. I know in the past you refused, but I would like to take you off sleeping pills and the last time we did that you had nightmares. I believe that it would benefit you if you took the time to talk to a professional a few times a week. But the choice is up to you."

He let the conversation fade as he waited for me to process the information he just gave me. I logically knew that it would be best to tell someone, holding it in could cause damage to my future. I knew I had to talk to a professional like the one Carlisle wanted me to see, but I wasn't sure if anyone should know the hell I've lived. I nervously ran a hand through my hair as I thought about this.

"Dad when is my first appointment?" I said unsure if I was doing the right thing by agreeing to this. He gave me a reassuring smile.

"I haven't made an appointment for you but I'm sure I can get you in this afternoon if that wouldn't be too soon for you." I nodded knowing he was happy with my agreement.

About five hours later I found myself in Carlisle's car on our way to Forks General Hospital. Dr. Greenway said that she would see me at 4:00. We didn't talk much during the ten minute ride, though Carlisle made sure that I knew I didn't have to continue going to Dr. Greenway if I decided that I didn't want to or that I wasn't ready.

4:00 on the dot I walked through Dr. Greenway's office and found myself sitting in a chair across from a young woman with short red hair.

"Mr. Cullen, how are you doing this afternoon?" She said with a smile.

"Edward." I automatically corrected her. "Please call me Edward. I'm um doing ok this afternoon I guess."

"Ok then Edward, I would like to ask you some questions. Would that be ok with you?" Her voice was soft as she talked and I wondered how much of my past she already knew.

"Yes, that would be ok." I replied to her.

"Will you share with me the first time that your mother abused you?"

_I was sitting in the living room of our new house; my mom was in the kitchen drinking something that always made her act strange. I was five and still didn't understand why my mom and I had left but my dad didn't come with us. A loud bang from the kitchen caused me to tip over my glass of water. _

_Elizabeth chose that time to come into the living room, I didn't understand then but I soon learned to tell when she was drunk._

"_You stupid boy." She yelled when she saw the glass of water now soaking into the carpet. "Look at what you did!"_

_I didn't understand her anger as she slapped me. I started crying, why was my mom so angry all the time? I wondered as she continued to yell at me. _

I told Mrs. Greenway about being told that I was unloved and how much it hurt to hear my mother's words. By the time our hour long appointment was over I was in tears about reliving some of my nightmares. I didn't tell Mrs. Greenway or Ann which she told me to call her; I didn't tell her about Phil and about what he did. We stuck with the subject of Elizabeth; we talked about my "relationship" with my mother. 

Carlisle was waiting for me when I got out of my appointment.

"How did it go son?" He asked as I hobbled over to him. Yes I am still in these stupid crutches.

"It was ok. I have an appointment Monday the 16th at 2:00." We let the conversation drop as we went to the car.

That night at dinner was nothing special as we started our normal conversation.

"Edward, I'm taking Emmett and Alice to get ready for school tomorrow. Would you like to come shopping with us, Carlisle has to work tomorrow." I could tell she wanted to add that she didn't want to leave me home alone. Ever since I joined the family either Esme or Carlisle would stay home with me, I only left the house to go to the hospital, even then that wasn't often.

"I would like to come with you." I said still slightly unsure of my choice. Alice and Esme both looked extremely happy by my choice and I started to wonder if it was a bad one.

Later that night I was heading up the stairs when Emmett called out my name.

"I wanted to ask you if it was ok for me to have Rose and Jasper over tomorrow night. It's kind of a tradition we do the Saturday before the first day of school." It took me a moment to understand that he was asking me for permission to have people over to the house.

"Um… yeah that would um… that would be ok." I stuttered out.

"I don't have to have them over if you would be uncomfortable." He quickly said noticing my nervous reply.

"No that would be fine." I said struggling to make my voice stronger and sound surer of what I was saying.

"Thanks." He said as he ran down the stairs.

**AN: please review they make me happy. SO what did everyone think?**


	16. To The Mall

**AN: Thank you to all my reviewers, I've been busy and I believe I missed replying to most of you who reviewed last chapter. But thanks. OK so I'm looking for 14 reviews this chapter. Think we can make it?**

**~Chapter 15~**

**Edward POV-August 14th-**

I woke up early Saturday; I was slightly shaky about going to the mall. I knew it being a Saturday that there would be numerous people there. Rationally I knew that I couldn't stay inside this house the rest of my life and that I would have to "step out of my comfort zone" so to speak. Going to the mall was one way in doing that; Esme had already promised that I wouldn't be left alone. I started the shower and discarded my pajamas into the hamper. I kept my eyes locked on the floor as I stepped under the warm running water, I didn't want to see all the scars that littered my body. Thankfully I had no bruising left, however there were three scars on my face that I was unable to hide. The first was one just above my eyebrow; I think it may have come from a broken beer bottle. The other two were side by side on my left cheek; no matter how hard I tried I couldn't remember how I received them. However those three scars were nothing compared to the ones on my chest and back, nor were they even as disgusting as the burn marks I carried on my ankles and wrists. Dad had done everything he could to stop the scars on my body, I think he tried too hard because he knew he couldn't stop the scars I would mentally have to deal with now.

After my shower I got dressed, double checking to make sure that I covered up all my scars and the burn marks. I exited the bathroom slowly; Dad had told me last week I would be fine without the crutches I had been walking around the house without them since then. My nerves spiked a little as I thought about leaving the house without them. Finally I reached the kitchen and found Esme making breakfast; Alice was in there with her complaining about wanting to leave. Em took this moment to walk into the kitchen.

"Alice it's 7:00 the mall won't open till 9:00, it shouldn't take us longer than an hour to get there." Emmett said as he took a seat a second before Esme placed a place before me and then him. Since Forks didn't have many places to shop it was our plan to drive the hour or so drive to Port Angelas.  
"Eat up kids." She said with a smile. We hadn't even been there for ten minutes before Alice started hounding us.  
"Edward, come on hurry up." Alice said sounding annoyed. "Emmett, stop playing with it and just eat it!" She yelled at Emmett as he stated to make shapes out of his pancakes. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me as I saw him trying to make what looked like mickey ears.

One hour later on the dot we were all inside Esme's BMW and on our way to the mall. I shouldn't have been surprised with how much it was raining as I looked out of the window. Alice had called shot gun leaving me and Emmett to the back seats. Our drive was relatively quiet; Emmett chose to have his Zune player blasting in his ears the entire time. Esme and Alice were talking about what shops they needed to go into. For the entire ride I spoke only when asked a direct question, instead of conversing I was content to be looking out the window as we passed trees and forest. I was breaking slowly in and out as I attempted to calm my nerves about getting to the mall. But as we got closer and closer to our destination the more I felt like I couldn't do this. I couldn't help but think about all the people that will be there, all pushing and bumping into each other as they go from one store to the other.

We pulled into the malls parking lot about ten minutes after it opened, in Alice time this means we got there ten minutes to late. I was thankful to notice that the lot was still basically empty, though I knew it wouldn't stay that way. After Esme parked Alice practically ran from the car and towards the mall. Esme and Emmett stood on each side of me, since I had voiced my concern earlier about falling. We followed Alice into the mall; she was waiting just inside the doors, her hands on her hips, one foot taping the floor beneath it.

"Come on!" she said turning on her heal and walking into JC Penny's. I took a deep breath before the three of us followed her.

It was going to be a long day.

**AN: Yes it's short but I was rushing to get somethng out before my class. And if you are nice and leave me some love I can guarentee some Jasper POV next chapter. Which should be up tomorrow afternoon or evening :) **


	17. Shopping and Home

**AN: SO I received 14 reviews for the previous chapter I'm at 191 reviews, so close to 200. :) I'm so happy! Ok so side note is, I don't have a beta, I don't plan on getting one but I have been informed through private messages that my grammar and such sucks. Do you as my readers want me to find a beta? (I don't know how to go about doing that, nor do I know how to proceed with updating and having a beta read the chapters first). Please in whichever way you want let me know if I need a beta. **

**~Chapter 16~**

**Edward POV-August 14****th**** Continued-**

"Come on!" Alice said turning on her heal and walking into JC Penny's. I took a deep breath before the three of us followed her.

It was going to be a long day, I thought as the automatic doors opened for us.

The morning went by in a blur as Alice picked handfuls of clothes for me and Em to try on. Alice herself got four full bags of clothes while at JC Penny's, and that's not even counting the three pairs of shoes she found for herself. Emmett and I both ended up with two bags, though why Alice felt the need for me to get more I will never understand. I still had almost a full closet full of clothes that are unworn, I tried to argue this with Alice and she just told me to stop complaining and get the clothes. After we had a cashier check us out we took all of our bags to the car so that we didn't have to carry them all over the mall. It was now nearing 10:00 and there were hordes of people rushing here and there within the mall, the parking lot I found was now packed full of cars. I naturally gravitated towards Esme of Emmett's side as the day went on; we visited three more stores before noon and I was terrified of getting separated from them as the crowds within the mall grew. Thankfully Esme and Emmett seemed to notice my reluctance to be far from someone and one if not both of them stayed by my side. Around noon my stomach growled and we were finally able to take a break as Esme announced that we should stop for lunch. We made one more trip to the car so that we could place our bags inside then we headed towards the food court.

I enjoyed eating at the food court, though all the people were a little overwhelming. I found the food to be good; Emmett and I each had a slice of pizza, a coke, and a pretzel. After lunch we made our way towards the other side of the mall, since we have yet to venture over there. I was pleasantly surprised when I noticed a music store, "The Piano Man" the sign said and inside its window on display was a beautiful grand piano much like the one I had.

"May we go in there?" I asked pointing towards the music store at the same time Alice yelled out "OH VS! Come-on they are having a sale!" VS? I thought to myself as I looked around and my eyes fell on a pink store with neon lights reading Victoria Secrets. I made a face at the same time Em said something about not wanting to go in there with his sister, part of me wondered if he had been in there with his girlfriend.

"Edward how would you feel if you and Emmett go into the music store and I follow Alice, then when we are done we'll meet you inside The Piano Man." Esme's solution sounded reasonable but the thought of being separated made my nerves shoot up as I ran a hand through my hair, processing what she had suggested. I knew that I didn't really want to be separated from Esme but The Piano Man looked like an interesting store and I could tell there weren't many customers inside of it.

"Come on Ed, let's let the women go in there alone." Em said pointing towards the store that Alice was inching towards as she also waited for my reply.

"Don't call me Ed," I said as I rolled my eyes and a laugh escaped my mouth. "We'll be ok Emse, you and Alice go in there, "I said pointing towards VS "and Em and I will be in there." I said pointing towards the music store. My voice was shaking a little but all in all I sounded sure of myself. Esme gave me a slight skeptical look before turning and walking towards VS, which Alice had already disappeared into.

Emmett and I made our way into the music store and I headed straight toward the back to the shelves that said "Music Books". Emmett followed me as I looked through the selection finally finding a piano one that I liked. I wanted to buy it but knew I shouldn't ask for it, the book was for beginners, and contained all the scales and even fingering charts, but the book got harder as you neared the end of it. I made my way around the store and found myself staring at the piano my fingers itching to touch the ivory keys. About thirty minutes after we enter the store a man approached us.

"Hello there young fellas." He said with a slight Scottish accent. He was an older mad possibly in his 60's, he had faded red hair and was slim of built. "Sorry I couldn't help you kids sooner. Anything you two are looking for that I can help you with?"

I figured by the way he talked that he was the store manager or owner.

"No, we um…" I stumbled out trying to get my voice to work. He was the first stranger to talk directly to me. "We're just looking." I was able to say as it stumbled out of me.

"Ok, well you kids let me know if you need any help." He said as he started to leave. "Feel free to play the piano, if you know how." He said not waiting for a reply as he approached two women who had just entered the store, I heard one say something about a flute before I turned my attention back to the piano.

His words were the only invitation I needed as I sat down and let my fingers grace the keys. The song was one that I had been practicing lately on the piano at home, it was short and easy. But Esme seemed to really enjoy it. It was still a work in progress and only about three minutes long. I was unaware of the customers who stopped and stared at me as I played, I also didn't notice when Alice and Esme came inside and stood next to Emmett as they listened to me play.

I was embarrassed when I finished playing to see everyone looking at me, I could feel my face heat up as I attempted to ignore all the attention and make sure that my burn scars weren't showing. Esme ended up insisting on buying me not just one music book but a few, telling me that I would like to have something with more than just scales in it.

We continued shopping for what seemed like hours and it was already 4:00 by the time we started to make our way back to Forks, back home. Once we were home Esme helped us bring all the bags in. Emse and Carlisle had plans to eat out since Emmett and Alice were having Jasper and Rosalie over and we would be ordering pizza. Alice insisted on telling me what to wear as we waited for their friends to show. She had me in dark jeans and a long sleeve red shirt that had three buttons which she told me to leave unbuttoned. Looking in the mirror I had to admit I looked nice.

The time was 6:50, Emmett told them to come around 7:00. I was shaking as we sat in the family room waiting for them to arrive. I wanted to meet Emmett's girlfriend and best friend, but I was also unsure of how to act. I was almost positive that they were aware of some of the things that happened to me, I didn't want to have their pity.

At 6:58 a car pulls into our driveway and two people step out.

Emmett is already at the door before they even have a chance to knock.

"Rosie!" He yells as a beautiful blonde woman is swept up into his arms. "Jaz." He says to the young man that walks in after the woman. I couldn't help looking at the beautiful man as he came into the house. He had on a short sleeve t-shirt and I could see his perfect flawless skin. I started to slowly back away, feeling the need to hide.

"Rose, Jasper, I would like you to meet my brother Edward." Emmett said drawing attention to me. I knew I couldn't just disappear now. These were Emmett's friends I had to be polite.

"Edward it's so nice to finally meet you." Rose said as she turned from Emmett and offered her hand. Nervously I took it, and shook it in my own.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Rose, Emmett talks about you constantly." I said praying that my voice sounded strong.

"Well I'm sure he over exaggerates and that none of it is true." She said giving me a smile as she releases my hand.

"And I'm Jasper, I hear you enjoy reading." Jasper said as he too held out his hand. Slowly I took it and couldn't help the warm feeling I got from it. He had small callouses on his hand and I could have sworn I felt a jolt of electricity from where your skin met.

"It's nice to meet you. I believe I got your note about the Riley Jensen, Guardian series By: Keri Arthur." I said my voice quivering slightly.

"I ordered the pizzas and they should be here in twenty minutes." Alice said as she skipped into the room. It wasn't until she finished hugging Rose that I noticed I was still holding Jaspers hand, I looked at our joined hands before quickly pulling mine away. "Rose you have to come see the new clothes I bought!" Alice said as she dragged Rose up the stairs and to her room, leaving just us guys still standing in the entryway.

"So who wants a coke?" Emmett asked, breaking the silence that fell between us.

"Sure, I'll take one." Jasper and I said together. We followed Emmett into the kitchen while he grabbed three cokes and handed one to each of us. Neither Jasper nor myself had trouble with our can, but when Emmett went to open his somehow he succeeded in making it fizz over and get all over his shirt.

This caused Jasper and I to both laugh. While my laugh was quiet his was loud and joyful, _I love the sound of his laugh. _I found myself thinking.

"Aw man, now I need to change." Emmett said as he left the kitchen and continued his way to his room. By this time Jasper and I had stopped laughing and my heart started to quicken as I realized how close we were standing to each other and that the fact was, we were alone. I could feel my breathing get shallower as I attempted to remain calm.

**AN: Ok I hope you enjoyed it. It's shorter that I meant it to be but I do plan to post again soon. :) OH and if you like Dom/Sub stories check out arianawhitlock's story Punishment, if you haven't already, it is also a Jasper/ Edward story. And if any of you have any good Jasper/ Edward stories let me know and I'll be sure to read them, if I haven't already :)**


	18. Things in Common

**AN: WOW 18 Reviews for the last chapter making 210 reviews total. I'm so happy! So this may be the last update till next weekend. Hope you enjoy it. **

**~Chapter 17~**

**EPOV-**

My heart was pounding so hard I was surprised that it hadn't pounded out of my chest. Jasper seemed to notice my reaction as he stepped away from me and gave me a small reassuring smile.

"So, Edward did you enjoy the Riley Jensen book?" He said. I couldn't help but notice how nice my name sounded coming from his lips.  
"Um… yeah." I stuttered out. _'Great going Edward you a high school graduate sounds stupid right now.'_ I patronized myself. "It was interesting and I enjoyed it so much, I couldn't put the entire series down." I added quickly hopeful that I sounded more confident.  
"Yeah, that's how it was for me when I first read them." He said as he started to bit his lower lip. And I found myself wondering if that was a nervous habit of his, if so why was he was nervous? "Did you have any favorite characters?"

"Yes, I believe my favorite would have to be either Rhoan or Liander." I said before I thought about it. After I said it I regretted it, I wasn't too open about being gay actually I wasn't too open about much. But after naming my favorite characters who are both gay in the book I knew that he would surely know that I myself am gay. I waited for what seemed like hours for him to say something, though I know it had only been a minute before he spoke.  
"They are my favorite also." He said with a smile. "I was so pissed when Liander got hurt…." He said jumping into a point of the story that he enjoyed.  
"Yeah but you have to love Riley. I mean when Rhoan is missing…" then it was my turn to start talking about a part of the story that I enjoyed. We were laughing and talking and I was shocked when suddenly my arm reached out and touched him. I hadn't realized how close I had moved to him and part of me though didn't know why, but I felt comfortable around him.

**Jasper POV-**

I was anxious and a slightly nervous as I drove Rose and me to the Cullen's home like I have done a million times. Though this time it was different, Edward would be there. The man that I couldn't stop thinking about since I first laid eyes on his bruised and battered face in the hospital and again as he stared out at me from the piano room when I came over to help Emmett fix his bed.

I don't mean there in the house hiding like last time, I mean he will be there to meet Rose and me. That thought alone made my palms sweat as we drove down the Cullen's long driveway and up towards the house. I had a fist raised to knock on the door when it swung open and I got pushed out of the way by Rose as she rushed into Emmett's arms. I couldn't help looking past Emmett and around the room till my eyes landed on Edward, he wasn't looking at me and I took that opportunity to look at him. He was beautiful and the clothes he had on complemented his light skin and his hair, that hair that I just wanted to run my hands through, sure that it would feel soft under my finders.

"Rosie!" Emmett yells as Rose runs into his arms before turning towards me. "Jaz." He said making me look away from Edward and turn my attention towards him.

"Rose, Jasper, I would like you to meet my brother Edward." Emmett said as he walked closer to Edward who looked as if he were about to run and hide.

"Edward it's so nice to finally meet you." My sister said as she turned from Emmett and offered her hand for him to shake. For a moment I wondered if he would take it.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Rose, Emmett talks about you constantly." His beautiful voice said as he shook her hand. Just the sound of his voice made me want to melt.

"Well I'm sure he over exaggerates and that none of it is true." Rose said giving him a smile. Then it was my turn, unsure of myself I held out my hand towards him.

"And I'm Jasper, I hear you enjoy reading." I was about to pull my hand way when he didn't make a move to take it, slowly as if he was unsure of himself he reached out and shook my hand. I could feel faint scars on his wrist where my finger grazed them. I could also feel something else, it felt like electricity flowing from him to me and I wondered if he had felt it too.

"It's nice to meet you. I believe I got your note about the Riley Jensen, Guardian series By: Keri Arthur." He said his voice shaking slightly as I noticed how nervous he must have been.

"I ordered the pizzas and they should be here in twenty minutes." Alice said as she skipped into the room. It wasn't until she finished hugging Rose that I realized mine and Edwards's hands were still connected. He must have noticed this at the same time that he did because he quickly pulled his hand out of mine, I felt sadden at the loss of contact. "Rose you have to come see the new clothes I bought!" Alice said as she dragged Rose up the stairs and to her room, leaving just us guys alone.

"So who wants a coke?" Emmett asked, breaking the silence that fell between us once the girls had left.

"Sure, I'll take one." Edward and I said at the same time causing me to smile, his voice made my heart swell. We walked into the kitchen and Emmett grabbed us each a soda.

Leave it up to Emmett to make a mess by opening a soda can, I couldn't help the laughter that escaped me as he got soda all over his shirt. I also noticed the sound of Edwards laughter from right beside me, Edward sounded like a beautifully played melody and I wanted him to keep laughing.

"Aw man, now I need to change." Emmett yelled as he stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

By this time Edward and I were done laughing and I turned to look at him. To speak to him, my eyes fell onto his face, that's when I noticed the look of sheer panic that seemed to take a hold of him as his breathing started to quicken and he started to panic. While I loved how close he was I slowly stepped away giving him plenty of space, praying that he would stay clam and not run from me. I smiled at him in attempts at reassuring him.

"So, Edward did you enjoy the Riley Jensen book?" I asked, in hopes that this would help him to calm and to stop his 'flight' instinct that had him now wanting to run from me.

"Um… yeah." He said, for a moment I felt sad that he may not say anything more on the subject, and then he quickly added. "It was interesting and I enjoyed it so much, I couldn't put the entire series down." He said as his eyes seemed to sparkle with his love of reading.

"Yeah, that's how it was for me when I first read them." I said as we began to talk about the books.

We were both laughing as we talked about the series, I was happy to get the chance to see the real him. Then he did the one thing that surprised me his arm reached out and touched my shoulder when he mentioned Eragon being one of his favorite books and he found out that the series was also my favorite. My heart jumped at the unexpected touch as a smile formed on my face. Our eyes locked and I could feel attraction building as I got lost inside his emerald eyes. I felt as if someone else was in my body as I slowly lifted a hand up to where his hair had fallen into his eyes, my eyes locked in on his lips as he licked them, moistening them. I wanted to kiss him, to feel his lips on mine.

"Hey guys sorry about that." Emmett said as he walked back into the kitchen and ruining the moment that had been growing between Edward and I. Quickly Edward and I moved away from each other. Thankfully Emmett didn't seem to notice this; he could be so clueless sometimes.

'_Ding, Dong' _

We heard the door bell ring and the three of us walked to the front door. Alice had ordered three extra large pizzas, two packets of bread sticks, and three 2 liter sodas of different kinds. Emmett paid the pizza man and then the three of us headed upstairs to the entertainment room Esme and Carlisle had put together for Emmett and Alice, telling them that as long as everyone stayed responsible they were allowed to have friends over whenever.

"Alice, Rose, pizza is here!" Emmett yelled as we passed Alice's room as we headed to the third story. Alice and Rose joined us as we sat the pizzas down and started grabbing plates, cups, and ice from the small kitchen area in the room.

"So Emmett what happened to the shirt you were wearing earlier?" Alice asked in an innocent tone.

"Well I kind of spilt soda all over it." Emmett mumbled his answer, slightly embarrassed to admit to it in front of my sister. Both girls simultaneously broke out in laughter, causing Edward and I to start laughing all over again at Emmett's expense.

After our laughter subsided we all helped ourselves to pizza and soda and took our seats on the different couches and chairs that littered the room. Emmett put the movie in as we settled into a night full of movies and games.

The first movie we watched was Eragon and while not as good as the book, I knew Edward hadn't ever seen it and I enjoyed watching his expression as he watched the movie. His body had relaxed quite a bit since the night had started and I enjoyed hearing his laugh as the movie progressed. I was sitting in on one of the couches with Alice on my left. Emmett and Rose took up the second couch and Edward had taken residence in the chair between the two couches and Emmett and Alice. We had barely finished off two of the pizzas all of the bread sticks and almost all of the soda by the time the movie ended.

_(I was going to leave it here but decided to continue, which means this update is later than I had first expected)_

**Edward POV- **

"Edward will you play me a game of chess?" Alice asked me as Emmett turned off the television.

"Sure." I said knowing I couldn't deny her. She loved playing chess.

"Can I play the winner?" Jasper asked as he followed Alice and me towards the table that already had a chess board set up. I was nervous to answer him as my thoughts strayed towards that moment in the kitchen when his hand moved some of my hair out of my face. I could feel a strange pull towards him and it frightened me, the feeling of wanting to get close to him, of wanting to know him.

"Yeah, that would be fun." I said praying my voice didn't crack. We didn't talk as Alice and I settled into our game, which after a tough game lasting fifteen minutes I ended up winning. I was happy to had won and able to now sit facing Jasper. He was concentrating as he thought of his next move; we had already been playing for five minutes. He was biting his lower lip as he moved one of his bishops.

Jasper was good and after ten minutes of playing I won, though just barely.

The rest of the night went by smoothly and I found that I liked Rose a lot, she was perfect for Emmett. I also thought that I liked Jasper, he was smart and funny. I had a wonderful evening with the four of them and all too soon the night came to an end. It was almost 2:00 when Jasper and Rose left, I was exhausted as I crawled into my bed and drifted off to sleep.

**AN: I don't own Rhoan, Liander, or Riley… they are from the book series mentioned above, and the books are great. Side note I know nothing about chess so I am unsure how long most games last. Ok so let me know if you enjoyed Jaspers POV. Look for another update Friday or next weekend some time. Next chapter should contain Edwards's second therapy session. If you have any good questions for the therapist to ask let me know, since I'm slightly unsure. :)**


	19. Piano Playing and Dreaming

**AN: I hope you enjoy this chapter and if it is not apparent I do not own twilight.**

**~Chapter 18~**

**Edward POV- August 15****th****- **

_Suddenly I couldn't breathe and I opened my eyes, _

_There was a hand clasped firmly around my neck, constricting my breathing._

"_I told you not to tell Boy!"_

_The man said as he jerked my body forward and onto the floor._

"_Now since you have been very bad I'm going to have to punish you."_

_The room was dark and I couldn't see anything, but the sound of his belt coming unbuckled was one sound I knew extremely well._

_I cried out as the first hit came into contact between my shoulder blades, his belt hurt and I could feel where I knew I would have welts the next day._

"_Make all the noise you want boy, there is no one left to save you from the rest of your punishment."_

_My eyes widened as I moved to look at him, his hand still tight around my neck._

_The moon light shone through slightly allowing me to see the crazed look on his face._

_His laughter rang out, it sounded inhuman as he began to speak again._

"_I killed them, they were stopping me from getting to you so I killed them, it's your fault they are dead, you're such a selfish boy. You put your own life over them, you could have saved them, and you shouldn't even have involved them."_

_Thant's when I noticed the blood that was smeared onto his shirt; even his hands had blood on them. He let out another loud laugh when a look of horror showed on my face._

"_But it's too late, they are dead, and you are mine!"_

_I screamed with everything I had as my world went dark._

I woke up with my heart still wildly pounding in my chest, threatening to break free. The sun was slightly shining in through cracks in my blinds and I could see that I was still in my bed. I frantically looked around the room. Everything looked to be in order and exactly how I had left it last night, even my shoes where tossed in a random way from when I kicked them off.

"Edward?" I heard a male's voice call out to me as someone knocked on my door.

"Edward, are you ok?" He asked again as he slowly opened the door when I didn't answer. Carlisle's face appeared as he took a small step inside.

"Yeah, I um had a bad dream." I said wishing he wasn't so worried about me. "I forgot to take my pills before going to sleep last night." I added and he just nodded in understanding.

"Son would you like to talk about it?" He said as he came closer.

"N… No. I'm alright dad." I said wishing yet again that I was just a normal teen.

"Sure, but if you need to talk…" He started.

"I'll let you know. " I said interrupting him.

He left and I turned to look at the clock 8:21 am, it read. It was Sunday which means I had an appointment with Ann tomorrow. I stretched as I climbed out of bed and made my way to the dresser to grab clean cloths, I sighed as I noticed I was running out of long leave shirts. Alice insisted that short sleeve would be better on me and I refused to listen to her, I was not ready for anyone to see my scars. I wanted; no I needed to keep my scars covered. I didn't want to have the reminder of my past, I wanted to work on letting it go and move on. The day was peaceful; Alice had locked herself in her room and was trying on every outfit she owned in order to figure out her outfits for the first week of school. Emmett was playing a video game by himself as Esme cleaned the house; Carlisle had left around 10:00 for his shift at the hospital.

"Hey Edward, Jas and I are going to dinner tonight. Kind of a guy's tradition we have, we would both love it if you came along." Emmett said when I walked into the kitchen for lunch. I thought about what he said as I made myself a turkey sandwich.

"Um, thanks for the invite but um, I think I'll stay here." I said as I rushed out of the kitchen not wanting to have to explain anything to him.

_I enjoyed Jasper's company, a little more than I should have last night. It was unwise to let a man get that close to me. That's something I needed to remember, I was not going to fall victim to anyone again._ I decided as I walked up the stairs and into my room. Emmett didn't bug me and at 5:00 I heard his jeep start up and take off down the road. It was almost 6:00 when Carlisle's car came down the road and Esme yelled up for Alice and me that dinner was ready. The four of us sat at the table and quickly dug into the dinner Esme had made. There was a salad she called it a "Spinach Salad" paired with it was a chicken dish that had cheese inside of it and to finish it off there were homemade rolls fresh from the oven. I took a little of everything just to try it, after realizing that I loved it I took more.

"Alice, all set for school to start tomorrow?" Esme asked as we settled into eating dinner.

"Yes, I've decided to…." I blocked out Alice as she explained each outfit she would wear with which shoes and the matching purse she had to finish it off.

Carlisle talked a little about work saying a guy from Emmett's football team was in a car wreck and wanted Esme to remind him to talk to Emmett about the hazards of drinking and driving.

"Oh, Edward!" Alice suddenly said causing me to slightly jump. "Your birthday is Friday (Aug. 20th)!" She said as if this was supposed to be news to me.

"Yeah." I said figuring she was done talking.

"We should have like a party or something. We could invite all our friends and you could finally meet them." At her words about a party I froze my fork halfway towards my mouth.

Suddenly my mouth was dry and I couldn't find my voice. It took three tries before I am able to make words come out.

"N… n… n... noooo… no parties, please." I said barely above a whisper.

"Fine, gosh what's up with you and parties?" She said sounding slightly frustrated.

"Edward, Alice why don't we just go out to dinner as a family and just have a family party." Esme said not wanting Alice and I to get into an argument.

"Sure." We both said.

"Um, Rose and Jasper are fine to invite if you want, if they um... if they want to come." I said suddenly wishing I hadn't spoken up in the first place.

"Oh good, I'll let Em know when he gets home." Alice said.

The rest of dinner went by fast and I soon found myself at the piano with my new music book.

**Jasper POV- **

I had hoped that Edward would be with Emmett when he came to pick me up, even though Em had told me that he didn't want to join us. Thankfully I was able to hide my disappointment as I hopped inside Em's Jeep and we took off to our favorite Mexican food joint. If you could call Bobby Salazar's real Mexican food and not just Americans take on it.

Em and I talked casually about the classes we would have, we had three of the same classes. Though with how small our school is I was surprised we didn't have all of the same five classes. Thankfully our free period would be our last class of the day which means we could hang out at his house or at mine, we normally would hand at his but with Edward things have gotten complicated and I can tell Emmett is trying to give him the space he wants.

"So how is the team shaping up this year?" I asked Emmett as I took another bite out of my burrito.

"The team is looking great." Emmett said as his face lit up. Em loved playing sports; I on the other had despised it. "Man, I think this is going to be our year. You know? Coach said I may even get a scholarship somewhere if I practice hard." We talked about the team for a few more minutes as Em informed me about Mike's chance of getting kicked off if he shows up drunk to practice one more time.

"How are your guitar lessons going?" He asked changing the subject when he noticed I wasn't paying attention to his football talk.

"They're great. Angela is an amazing teacher and even let me borrow one of her guitars so I could practice at home." I knew Em wasn't real into music but I enjoyed being asked about it. He also talked about Edward while we were finished up our dinner.

I loved hearing Emmett talking about the bronze haired angel that has recently rejoined the Cullen family. He told me about Edwards love for music and that night after Emmett dropped me off at my house I found myself thinking about the angel playing the piano as I gently strummed the guitar in a chair next to him, smiling at the thought I hang my jacket on the coat rack as I head down the hall and to my room. Our house is a normal sized house three rooms, two bathrooms, living room, kitchen with dining room attached. I close and lock my door when I get into my room. I could not stop thinking about Edward as I discard my jeans onto the floor along with my socks and shoes, I could imagine his hands touching me, his voice whispering to me.

_Edward stops playing the piano and turns towards me._

_His hands are smooth as he lets them feather over my jaw._

"_Why don't you put down that guitar and play something else." He says his voice full of desire. The second the guitar is safely put away I was being dragged towards the couch._

"_Jazz I want to kiss you." He whispers into my ear as we both (not so gracefully) sit on the couch. He didn't even give me a chance to reply as his lips crash onto mine. I give in meeting him with just as much passion, just as much need. I pull at him causing him to straddle my lap as our kiss deepens._

By now my boxers are off as I take myself in hand rubbing my dripping tip with my thumb.

_Slowly his body starts to move forward causing our cocks to rub together through our jeans. I grow even harder as his hands graze down my shirt till it came to the bottom of it then his smooth silky hands are touching my bare chest and I'm not sure how much I can take of his touch._

My shirt is soon discarded as I quickly return my hand to my throbbing cock and let the other rub up and down my chest, playing with my nipples as I let my imagination go.

_My tongue begs for entrance into his mouth and I realize how divine he tastes as I am allowed access and our tongues tango together. Breaking the kiss I move my mouth to suck and nibble on his skin needing to taste all of him, to feel all of him. His lips are hovering over my ear, his hot breath arousing me, as he softly whispers my name right before he licks the lobe and nibbles it causing me to buck my hips into him harder. Our bodies continue to press into each other..._

I can't hold out much longer as I feel my body tense with pleasure and I spill my hot seed onto my discarded shirt. I open my eyes as I come back to reality still trying to come down from my high.

My phone chooses that moment to buzz.

Sighing I pick it up and notice a text message.

_Jas-_

_Family is going out for Edward's 17__th__ birthday Friday 6:00. You and Rose are both invited. _

_- Em_

I reply quickly as a smile forms on my face.

_Em- _

_I'll be there._

_-Jas_

Putting my phone down, I can't stop thinking about Edward.

Fuck, I need to find a way to get myself alone with him.

**EPOV Again-**

I don't know how long I had been playing the piano when I heard Emmett come home. I continued to play, though this time my mind began to wonder towards Jasper and what would have or could have happened if I had joined them at dinner. Shrugging I decided to let it go as I practiced the scales in the book.

Carlisle came in causing me to pause and look at him.

"Son I am needed back at the hospital. I just wanted to say goodnight and I placed some sleeping pills by your bed for you. I'll see you tomorrow to take you to your appointment tomorrow. Night son I love you." With that he turned to leave this was a nightly thing that Esme and Carlisle did with the three of us, you know telling us goodnight and that they love us.

"Dad, wait." I said standing up and walking over to where he had stopped. "I love you too." I whispered as I hugged him. I could practically feel happiness radiating off of him as he hugged me back.

"Thank you." I thought I heard him whisper as we broke apart and he left and I went back to playing to piano, letting my mind wonder off to what tomorrow would bring and a certain blonde man who had informed Emmett of his acceptance to the invite of dinner Friday. 

**AN: Big thanks to arianawhitlock for help on fixing my lemon and making the above one. :) I hope all of you enjoyed it, let me know by reviewing. :) And a heads up the lemons will be slightly scattered at the beginning of J/E relationship. Just remember Edward is 16 and had gone through hell and barely survived though he will be 17 VERY soon. He's not going to be jumping anywhere fast especially with another guy. But don't worry, they will get there. Life is a journey. **


	20. Therapy, Writing, and Time Passing…

**AN: Thanks to those who reviewed, added favorites, and story alerts. As always the characters you recognize do not belong to me, even though I wish it weren't so. **

**~19~**

**Edward POV- **

Monday morning came all too soon. Thankfully I was able to sleep through the night without any disturbances though. My meeting with Mrs. Greenway was set for 2:00 the alarm clock I had now read 12:00. I was in no real hurry to get up as only Esme and Carlisle would be home, it being the first day of school and all that for Emmett and Alice.

Esme was reading in the living room when I came down after my shower.

"Good afternoon Edward." Esme said looking up from her book. "Do you want me to make you some lunch? Emmett and Alice are at school. Carlisle is still sleeping from his graveyard shift at the hospital, though he should be getting up soon."

"I can, um I can make my own lunch." I said not wanting to interrupt her reading. I left her in the living room and went into the kitchen to make my lunch. I threw a turnkey sandwich together rather quickly and ate in silence in the kitchen. After I was done I cleaned up my mess and headed towards my room.

I settled in at my desk as I opened my notebook; unconsciously I started to nibble on my lower lip as I brought pen to paper.

_All Thats Jazz__ ~ E. Cullen, 8-16-10_

_Those piercing blue eyes__ o__f his…._

_Oh how they captivated me,_

_They watched and studied me_

_Throughout the night._

_His blonde locks obstructing his vision_

_As they fall onto his face._

_That perfect smile,_

_His bell like laugh,_

_The way my hand tingled from his touch._

_His perfect face,_

_Muscled and unscarred arms,_

_What would it feel like to be held by that?_

_He's perfection you can touch,_

_With his baby blue eyes_

_And perfect blonde hair._

_His slim muscled body_

_With its hard masculine lines._

_And his perfect soul,_

_That I shouldn't blacken_

_With my dark past..._

I stare at the poem that I had just finished. I couldn't help but wonder what it all truly means. It was obviously written about Jasper, but why would I feel such a pull towards him? It's not like we really know each other. I've met him once. So why is it that I can't stop thinking about him?

All these questions bombarded my mind as I read and reread the poem, only stopping when there was a knock on my door.

"Come in." I yell looking up to see who it may be.

"It's almost time to go to your appointment are you ready?" Carlisle said as his head came around the now slightly opened door.

"Yes dad, I was just writing. I'll be down in a few minutes." I said as I closed my notebook.

After he left I placed my notebook back inside my desk and grabbed a pair of shoes, putting them on before I headed down the stairs. The ride to the hospital didn't take long and soon I found myself in the familiar waiting room as Mrs. Greenway finished up her previous session. I couldn't help the nervousness I felt as I waited. My leg kept tapping, my hand kept finding itself running though my hair and I was nervously chewing on my bottom lip.

"Mr. Cullen? Mrs. Greenway will see you now." A secretary said directing me towards Ann's office.

"Hello Edward. Please have a seat." Ann said as she pulled out what looked to be my file. "How are you doing dear?"

"Hello Mrs. Greenway, I'm doing fine." I said unsure what exactly she was referring to when she asked how I was doing.

"Well then let us get started, shall we?" She said as she pulled a pen out of her hair and had it ready to start writing.

"How have you been sleeping, I see you are on sleep pills?" And off we go… I thought as she jumps straight into the asking of questions.

"I had a nightmare Saturday night; I had forgotten to take my pills. Other than that fine, if I remember to take the sleeping pills I sleep without any dreams." My voice was quivering slightly as I talked. I knew she would ask what it is that I had dreamed. I knew if I continued therapy I would have to recount all my nightmares and memories sooner or later. I mean that is the point of therapy, right? To work through and talk about the nightmares you have lived through.

The hour seemed shorter as we spent the entire time talking.

First we talked about the nightmare I had, then about my mother, then we talked about Phil.

I was glad when it was time to go, though she reminded me that she would see me Thursday, since we had agreed to meeting twice a week.

Carlisle was waiting for me when my appointment was done and we headed home right after.

"Edward, Emmett is the Quarterback on his high school football team; their first game is set as a home game next Friday. We normally go as a family, would you like to come? Rose and Jasper normally sit with us and Alice. I know Em would love for you to come."

I thought about what Carlisle was asking. Football games were normally loud with crazy fans yelling and going crazy. This being a small town with nothing else to do on a Friday night I would bet the stands would be completely full.

"Ok," I said after a few minutes. "I would enjoy watching Emmett's game." I could see a big smile spread across Carlisle's face as I spoke and I knew I had made the right decision.

The rest of the week was boring; with Alice and Emmett back in school there wasn't much to do during the day. Dad worked 50+ hours every week though with me home I know he was trying to cut down. I got to know Esme a lot during the week, even helping her with dinner and household chores. Thursday's therapy session went much like the prior one on Monday, and all too soon it was Thursday night.

Tomorrow would be Friday, also known as my 17th birthday. I would be lying if I didn't admit to being slightly uneasy about the thought of doing dinner out. I also got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach when I thought about Jasper coming to dinner. I wanted to see him again, this I knew. But I also knew that my dark past would put a damper on him, it's already put a hindrance on my family I can tell just by the way they tiptoe around me, around their own house.

**AN: I aim to post again Thursday or Friday sometime. Thank you for reading. As always reviews are appreciated. The above poem was written by me. Not much happened in this chapter I know, but its setting up for his birthday dinner and such and you all get another poem :) **


	21. Birthday Wishes and A Scumbag

**AN: I own nothing… I can't believe I'm at 250 reviews :) you have no idea how happy that makes me**

**~20~**

**EPOV- 17****th**** Birthday!**

"Hey Eddie?" Alice called from my room as I stepped out of the bathroom and back into my room. "Have you ever published any of your poems?"

I looked at her, my hair still wet and dripping from my shower. Jasper and Rose would be here any moment and then we would all load up into the cars and head off to dinner. Alice was reclined in my chair with her feet on my desk, holding up a notebook as she asked the question.

"No Alice, I haven't ever published anything. Please don't call me Eddie." I said throwing my dirty clothes in the hamper as I picked up my shoes to put them on. Alice still had her nose in my notebook, a part of me wanted to tell her to put it down and not to read my poems, but I also didn't want to be rude.

**Alice POV-**

_These poems are amazing._ I thought to myself as I turned the page to read another. Just the emotions that Edward's able to put into words astound me. I hear the shower turn off as I keep reading. The title of the next one catches my eye, _All That's Jazz__ ~ E. Cullen, 8-16-10_, I smile as I settle down more and read it, when I was through reading it I couldn't believe what I just read and had to reread it just to make sure. _He likes Jasper! _I almost squealed with delight when I realized this, I had noticed Jasper watching Edward and now I knew they were both fascinated with each other.

Quickly I started to think of a plan on how to make sure they sit next to each other at dinner. I swiftly turn the page when I hear Edward exit the bathroom, making his way to his room.

"Hey Eddie?" I ask as he comes in. "Have you ever published any of your poems?" I said looking at him. He was wearing a dark pair of jeans and a long sleeve forest green shirt that made his eyes pop; I knew he would look good in the color.

"No Alice, I haven't ever published anything. Please don't call me Eddie." He said turning his back to me. _Gosh what was with this guy and not liking nicknames?_

I took the time to look at the poem on the current page as Edward put on his shoes. This one looked like it wasn't finished, and still it didn't have a title.

_~E. Cullen, 8-18-10_

_At night the blistering winter wind blows_

_While the rains collide with my window,_

_Making a pitter patter sound._

_The lightning's lighting up the sky,_

_And the thunders rolling by,_

_Asking their endless questions,_

_Ones like why…_

_I have no answers to their questions,_

_The truth is still a mystery._

_Why would the stars shine bright_

_And look down on me in my misery?_

_Why a stranger with eyes like the ocean, _

_Golden locks going every which way?_

_Why the nightmares,_

_And sudden thoughts?_

_Why am I still plagued _

_From that mistake…_

The poem was intriguing and I made a side note to ask Edward about it later seeing as mom just yelled that Jasper and Rose are here and it's time to head off to the restaurant.

**EPOV- **

Alice flew down the stairs like a tornado when Esme told us that Jasper and Rose had arrived. She quickly collided with a hug to Rose and then turned her attention towards Jasper. I couldn't tear my eyes from him as I looked at him, he wore a blue shirt that hugged him just enough that I could make out his muscles. I tried not to stare as I made my way down the stairs and joined the others.

"Happy birthday Edward." Rose said giving me a gentle hug in greetings.

"Happy birthday, Thank you for the invite tonight Edward, it was nice of you to include us." Jasper said after Rose released me.

I smiled all of a sudden shy and at a loss for words.

"Um, yeah… Thanks, for, um, coming." I stuttered out hoping that I didn't sound like a complete fool.

"Ok kids lets load them up. Carlisle is going to meet us there." Esme said as we headed to the garage.

"I call shot gun!" Alice yells, pushing us out of the way so she can get to the car first.

"Mom, can I take Rose in my new car? We're not all going to fit in one." Emmett asked as he started to pull Rose towards a different car. The garage was big; it almost seemed ridiculous to have a garage that could fit 6 or 7 cars. Though I guess once you add up that they had a total of 5 cars it made sense none of them wanted to park outside with the rainy weather.

"Sure, just drive safe." She said as she got into the driver's side of her Nissan Altima. I quickly go in the back and was happy to see that Jasper and I were sitting next to each other.

"Emmett just got a 2009 Nissan 370Z, he's been using the family Jeep for a few years and now he's all excited to have his own car." Esme explained as we headed out into the rain.

"I'll be getting a Mustang GT in Red for Christmas." Alice said turning so she could look at me.

The drive wasn't long and we were soon piling out of the cars and running inside. Carlisle was just driving up as we stepped into the dry warm restaurant.

"Hello Mrs. Cullen welcome to The Old Spaghetti Factory, how many in your party?" The hostess said greeting us.

"Hello Lauren we have reservations at 6:00 for seven." Esme replied. We were quickly shown to a table and handed menus. Lauren told us that our server would be Eric and he'll be right out, but that she would get our drink orders and bring them out to us. "Make sure to take lots of pictures." Esme was saying to Rose as we sat down.I was sitting next to Carlisle and was surprised when Jasper was claiming the seat next to me.

"Can I sit here?" He quietly asked me. Not trusting my voice I just nodded yes and giving him what I hope was a friendly smile. About five minutes later Esme and Carlisle excuse themselves saying that they'll be right back, leaving Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper and I alone at the table.

"Hey everyone." A guy said when he spotted us and he started to make his way over towards us. "Ready for the big game next week Emmett? Who's this?" He suddenly asks when he notices me.

"This is my step brother, Edward." Emmett smiles. "Yeah we are stoked for the game." Emmett went on to say not noticing that the strangers attention wasn't on him anymore. The stranger smiled at me, his eyes traveling up and down my body and he sticks out his hand for me to shake. I don't know why but I didn't want to touch him. Slowly I took a deep calming breath and shook his hand, not wanting to seem rude to Emmett's friend.

"It's very nice to meet you." He says as his eyes darkened and a smile freezes on his lips. "My name is Mike."

"Uh, yeah, nice to meet you Mike." I said as I try to pull my hand away from him. Unfortunately, he's holding too tight as he pulls me closer gently and pulls out a pen from his pocket. I watch in silent fear as he clicks it and proceeds to write his number on my skin.

"Call me, beautiful." Thankfully with that he let go of my hand after that and left.

"Dude just ignore Mike, he's harmless." Emmett said.

"Edward, are you ok?" Jasper asks. "You're very pale." He gently places his hand on my knee causing my stomach to flip flop.

"Yeah I'm um fine, just..." I wasn't sure of the right word to use and stopped mid-sentence. Although I did relax into Jasper's touch.

"Just put off my Mike?" Jasper finishes for me sounding almost sad. "Don't worry; there are only a few gay men in this town." He adds removing his hand.

Just as I am about to say something Esme and Carlisle return.

"Have we all decided?" Dad asks as he sits back down.

I just nod as I wet my napkin in water and proceed to rub off the ink that the creep Mike left. If any gay man in this town is going to mark me, it's going to be Jasper.

Jasper notices me scrubbing the number off and frowns but I catch his eye and just shake my head muttering almost under my breath. "If it was your number I'd get a tattoo."

He tenses for just a moment and I think he might have caught it but if he does he doesn't give me an indication one way or the other.

Our server Eric showed up soon after that and took our orders.

Soon we all had our entrees and were digging into our dinner. Conversation stayed casual as Carlisle filled Esme in on his day and Rose, Emmett and Alice were having a discussion about cars. Jasper and I were the only ones not talking at the table and I suddenly became nervous wondering if I should be saying anything to him, if so, what?

"So Edward, when will you be joining us at Forks High?" Rose asked turning her attention to me.

"I won't be." I said suddenly aware that Jaspers eyes were now on me. "I graduated this past spring."

"How, you're 17, right?" She asked confused.

"I was able to graduate a year early, and since my birthday is in August right after school starts I was able to start school at 4 and turn 5 few weeks after the beginning of school. If I didn't graduate a year early I would have been 17 when I graduated, since this would have been my senior year." I explained.

"Edwards being modest," Alice piped in. "He graduated with top grades and Universities and begging him to go to their school now."

"Wow that's amazing, so have you decided what you'll do now?" Jasper asked giving me a smile.

"I um, I'm not sure. I might take a few online courses from the community college." I stammered out not liking all the attention I was now receiving. "But I don't know."

"Edward, the decision is yours. There's no rush on making a decision now. Let's all go back to the house and have some cake and icecream." Carlisle said as he paid for dinner.

As we stepped outside, there right at the entrance was a brand-new car.

"It's for you Edward." Carlisle said handing me keys. I had taken my driver's test and received my license a few weeks back.

"It's a 2011 Volvo 540 R." Emmett said, as if I was supposed to understand his car talk. I looked at it, four door, dark metallic blue, leather seats inside, a 5 speed. This car was tricked out.

"Thank you" I said unsure of myself as I received the keys from Carlisle.

"This is from mom and dad. You still have to open our presents that are back at home." Alice said.

My heart was pounding as I got into my car and followed Emmett home. The stereo was amazing and I loved the feel of the leather shifter as I drove. We got home in record time and I parked my car in one of the empty spaces between Emmett's Nissan and the family Jeep. Em, Rose and I were sprawled across the living room furniture when Esme and Carlisle pulled into the drive way. Jasper and Alice came in just as the garage door was closing, they were followed by Carlisle and Esme and each one of them now held presents.

Everyone takes a seat and I smile when Jasper claims a seat to my right. Alice bounces over to me and starts to hand me gifts.

"This is from Emmett." Alice says as she hands me a bag.

Inside is a leather-bound notebook with nice writing pens.

"Its for your poems." Em says when I don't say anything.

"Thanks." I am barely able to say as I feel like I'll start to cry. The realization that Phil and Elizabeth didn't just hurt me but that they took away my chance at a childhood came crashing down on me.

"This one is from me." Alice says as she starts to bounce up and down with excitement as I grab the box from her.

Opening it I find a digital camera with a card.

The card reads

_For making happy memories_

_-A_

"Alice its perfect, thanks." I say as i pull her into a hug.

"Here's Rose's gift to you." Alice handed me the second to the last gift. "It goes with mine."

Wondering what Rose could have gotten me I tore open the paper wrapping. Inside was a photo album, all done up in black and blue. With white lettering reading _Happy times_. I turned the first page surprised to see pictures already inside. There was one of Alice, Em, and I sitting and watching the movie, next was one of Jasper and I playing chess next to it was almost the same except this time we're laughing both of us had our heads tossed back and I can almost hear his bell like laugh.

"And Jaspers." Alice said handing me the last one once I had looked through the photos.

Slowly I started to open it smiling when I pulled out a Zune player much like the one Emmett owns.

"I already opened it and loaded your favorite songs onto it, I hope you like it." Jasper says. "There's a playlist for you, Esme helped me with your favorite song.

"Thank you Jasper." I say a true smile on my face as I look at him. "I love it."

**AN: Thanks for reading if you have any questions please ask them and I will do my best to answer :) **

**The above poem is again written by me.**

**Credit for ****"If it was your number I'd get a tattoo." Must go to arianawhitlock, who helped me out with the scene with Mike. **

**Answer to a question:**

**His age and school… Those born in August have the option of starting school as 4 turning 5 or 5 turning 6… They are either some of the youngest or oldest or their class. Edward started 4 turning 5 so he was one of the youngest in his class, if Edward didn't skip a grade this year would be his senior year. He would have been 16 turning 17 then graduated and few months later turn 18. I hope that cleared up some of the questions I've been asked. (This is all according to United States public schools. K & 1-12 grades.) **


	22. Jasper and Guys Night

**AN: I own nothing… So sad news is my computer crashed last night and I lost this entire chapter, so I had to rewrite it. Hope you all appreciate the update.**

**THANK YOU everyone who reviewed! **

**~21~**

**JPOV- **

Later that night I laid in bed thinking about dinner. I couldn't believe how obvious Mike was at the restaurant, he had graduated this past spring and came out right after. With Edwards's reaction towards Mike it became obvious that I would never have a chance with him, he sounded disgusted by getting hit on by a guy.

Yes Mike was a creep. But it couldn't be denied that he was a good looking guy, he had clear skin, short brown hair and brown eyes. Even if Edward was gay, he wouldn't go for me, he rejected Mike. Me? Well I'm nothing compared to Mike, with my acne covered face and outdated glasses, and old used clothes.

_"If it was your number I'd get a tattoo."_

Edwards's words kept playing inside my head.

_Did I hear him correctly? _I wondered, I mean he really wouldn't have said that. I wanted to ask him about it but we weren't alone and I knew that none of his family heard him say that at dinner.

The car was a nice car, though that shouldn't be surprising, all the Cullen's have nice cars. Rose and I shared a 2000 Ford Contour it wasn't a bad car, just nothing special compared to the Cullen's cars. I so badly wanted to ask Edward for a ride back to the house, get him alone, and talk. But I couldn't just being around him gives me butterflies.

_"Thank you Jasper." Edward says as he opens my gift to him. "I love it."_ His words keep ringing in my ears. I had to work extremely hard in order to be able to save enough to buy it for him.

Working part time at the local book store, I wasn't really racking in the dough. I hated being in public, school was torture for me, being Rose's twin brother everyone at school knows who I am. Bullies target the weak; this is true and even with Emmett and Rose that didn't stop the bullies at Forks High from having their fun messing with me. Even though I hated being in public, I truly loved my job at the book store. Though that had something to do with the fact that I was in charge of stocking the shelves and I didn't have to deal with customers on a daily basis. Being surrounded by books was a comfort to me, thankfully I was able to get the job since working was a necessity; our dad was just laid off from work and any little bit helped, since Rose and I had lost our mom almost a year ago.

The extra hours I needed to put in so that I could buy Edwards gift was worth it, just to see the look on his face and to have him talk to me. I fell asleep thinking about Edward with prayers of being able to talk with him alone Friday night during or after the football game, I normally don't attend the football games, but when I do go I sit with the Cullen's.

The sun was barely rising as I got out of bed and started my day, I had work today. On my lunch break I noticed a text from Emmett wanting to do something later tonight as a guy's night, this time Edward had agreed to come with us, I quickly replied with a yes to count me in. I couldn't wait till I got to see him again.

Work was slow and quiet, just the way I liked it and normally I would have called it a perfectly good day. But I was ready to clock out and go see Edward…

My day was spent thinking about Edward, how was I going to get alone time with a young man who has been through hell and trusts few people? I was screwed; I decided as all the things I came up with wouldn't work, I didn't want to frighten him. I just wanted; no I just needed to get to know him.

5:00 on the dot I was clocking out and practically running to my car. The drive to the Cullen's house (or mansion according to me) never seemed so long. Emmett met me at the door, explaining that Carlisle and Esme had a fundraiser dinner to attend and Rose and Alice had taken the family jeep to see a movie in town. Leaving us guys the house for the night.

"What should we get for dinner?" Em asks as I follow him into the living room searching around for any sign of where Edward was.

"That Chinese place we had few weeks ago was good." Edwards's voice rang out over the living room as he descended the stairs, causing my heart to flip-flop as I turned to face him.

"Hi Edward." I said giving him a small smile and hoping that I wasn't being too obvious as I checked him out. This young man had no idea how amazing he looked.

"Hello Jasper." He shyly said his eyes not meeting mine.

Soon our food was being delivered and the three of us sat around the table.

"What movie should we watch?" Emmett asks as he shoves more chow main into his mouth. I was about to speak but stop when I notice Edward starting to talk.

"Can we watch Batman and The Dark Knight? You were saying they are movies that have to be seen, I've never seen them." His voice was slightly shaking as he spoke, I was almost certain that he was uncomfortable stating his opinion. "If that sounds ok for you?" He asks turning towards me, his green eyes met mine and we locked eyes. I wished I could just get lost in his gaze, filled with so much emotion, so much hurt and pain and under that I could see hope building inside of him.

"Um yeah that's good." I say when I hear Emmett clear his throat, causing me to realize that I was still staring at Edward. Quickly I move my gaze, hoping that I hadn't been caught staring too much.

I had seen both movie multiple times but they were also great movies and I would gladly watch them again with Edward anytime.

"You two head upstairs, I'm going to put the leftovers away." Emmett says as the three of us take our paper plates to the trash.

"Do you… um, play guitar?" Edward asks as we ascend the stairs.

"Yes, how did you..." He didn't even let me finish asking as he went to answer.

"Your hands have callouses, but you don't seem the type to play sports or something." He shyly answered. "And on my music player that you gave me there are five songs all with titles but no artist's names, they are all by the same person with only a guitar and a singing voice."

"Um…" Now it was my turn to be speechless. "Yeah that's by me."

"You're a really talented singer and guitar player." Edward smiled at me shyly. By now we were on the third floor, both of us getting comfortable on the couch. I was happy when he sat next to me instead of sitting in one of the chairs.  
"Thanks Edward, I'm glad you enjoyed them." I said getting lost in his eyes  
again.

My breathing hitched as I realized we were only inches from each other, my  
hand itching to touch him as I slowly raised my hand to cup his face. He  
flinched slightly, almost as if he was expecting to get slapped, but I didn't  
remove my hand assuming that since he hadn't moved out of my reach that we  
were ok. My gaze left his and followed to his lips, causing me to lick my own.

_What would he taste like?_ I wondered as my hand slowly drifted from his cheek  
to the back of his head, feeling his soft hair in my fingers. He doesn't move  
as I pulled myself closer towards him. We were mere millimeters, from each  
other but we jumped apart hearing footsteps on the stairs.

"Ok guys let's get this night started!" Emmett's booming voice said as he stepped into the room.

**AN: Oops, Emmett keeps messing things up doesn't he? So this chapter didn't go as smoothly as I wished, considering I had to rewrite it I think it turned out ok. If you want another update (or for them to kiss) I suggest that you review :) Thanks goes to arianawhitlock for her idea about music being by Jasper on the Zune and for putting up with me asking for help.**


	23. Guys Nught pt2 and Football

**AN: I own nothing… Hope you enjoy this chapter. Big thank-you to all those who reviewed, 18 total reviews, think we can beat it with this chapter?**

**~22~**

**EPOV-**

Every fiber of my being was telling me to move as Jaspers hand reached towards me, involuntarily my body stiffened at his touch, and I could see a slight hint of hurt in his eyes along with a hidden emotion. Compassion, neither Phil nor Elizabeth ever showed me any of this. I could feel my heart rate increase as his hand came to rest at the nape of my neck and softly play with my hair.

My breathing caught in my throat as he leans towards me; unconsciously he licks his lips, causing my attention to be drawn towards them.

I've never been kissed before; this thought dawns on me making me even more nervous as his lips neared mine. Phil forced me to do many things, but one thing I've never done was kiss another man before, or another person.

_Crap he's going to kiss me and I don't know what to do… _was my only thought as Emmett came into the room.

"Ok guys let's get this night started!" Emmett's booming voice said as he stepped into the room.

Jasper and I jumped apart so fast I was surprised Emmett didn't notice anything. I was glad that there was only one lamp on casting most of the room into shadow; I could feel my face heat up because of what almost happened.

I could still feel the warmth from Jaspers hand as Emmett puts the first of the movies in and brings Jasper and I sodas from the fridge. The three of us settle down and Emmett dims the already dim lights.

"What do you think?" Emmett asks as the credits start to roll.

"It was good, the effects with the Blu-ray and amazing." I say as he stops the move.

"OK now on to the next one." Em says bouncing out of his chair and over to the player.

"This next one is one of my favorites." Jasper whispers into my ear. Turning around I put my lips next to his ear. "Then I'm sure I'll love it." I whisper back to him.

The movie was great and I found myself laughing as the joker enters the scene.

"We're out of sodas I'll be right back and I'll bring some popcorn." Emmett said just as the joker started talking again.

"_Want to see a magic trick?"_

A loud laugh escaped me as Emmett walked through the doorway and exits the room. Soon after Emmett was gone Jaspers hand was gently on my neck, I could feel his warm breath on my ear as he spoke "You have a beautiful laugh Edward." He whispers, his voice low and filled with desire. My body automatically reacted to him as I relaxed into his touch.

That moment didn't last long as Emmett came back with three bowls of popcorn and more sodas.

I figured Jasper was watching me more than the movie, because every time I turned to look at him he was looking at me, making it extremely hard to sneak a peek at him. Emmett and I walk Jasper to the door when the movie finishes.

"Emmett come and help me." We hear Alice yell.

"Guess the girls went shopping, again." Em says as he leaves. "See ya Jay."

Jasper and I stand awkwardly, staring at each other.

"Well, um goodnight Jasper." I said as he opens the door.

"Edward, um I shouldn't have, done that… sorry." He says and closed the door behind him, leaving me speechless.

_I wanted to kiss him… _Was my thought as I watched his car pull away.

**JPOV-**

"Idiot!" I said as I pulled out of the driveway. "Come-on Jay, why would you even try something like that?" I criticized myself.

_Because I wanted to kiss him… _I silently answered myself as I made my way home through the rain.

That night I dreamed about Edward.

I continued to dream about him the entire week. Thursday rolled around before I asked about him, not wanting to be obvious.

"Hey Em," I said at lunch as we waited for Rose and Alice to join us. "Your family is still going to the game tomorrow night, right?"

"Yep, everyone's coming." He said shoving almost half of his hamburger into his mouth.

"Any chance I can hitch a ride?" I say and wait for him to finish chewing.

"Um, Yeah man." He says his mouth still half full. "When are you getting your car back?"

"No clue." _My car had been in the shop since Monday and it's looking like the transmission is shot, won't be good for Rose and me if it is. We won't be fixing it or getting a new one._

Friday night 6:30 on the dot I see Carlisle's car pull into my driveway.

"Hey Carlisle just get off work?" I ask noticing that he doesn't have any of the other Cullen's in the car with him.

"Yes, Esme and the kids are going to meet us there."

And with that we were headed towards the game, along with all the other residence of Forks.

**EPOV- Friday**

"Edward why don't you drive, I haven't been in your car yet." Alice says making a b-line for my car. "Dad's going to meet us there so Esme can right back with him. PLEASE can we take your car?" She asks giving me a huge grin.

"Esme, do you mind?" I ask wondering if she could get me out of having to say no to Alice.

"I'm fine dear, whatever you want to do works."

Alice let out a squeal as I unlocked my car and she got into the back seat.

It only took us 5 minutes to get to the school and soon the three of us were seated and waiting for Carlisle and Jasper to show up.

"Hey." I say as Jasper walks up to us.

"Hey Edward, is this seat taken?" He asks, taking the seat next to me when I shake my head no.

We sit in silence for a few minutes before they started playing what I would guess to be the fight song and the Football team came running out.

"That's Emmett." Jasper says leaning towards me. "Number 12, he's the quarterback. There's Rose in her cheer uniform." He points to where the cheer squad was.

"Do you know much about football?" I ask as the two teams lined up and the game started.

"Not really. They just had the kick off; we get to start with the ball. Our goal is to get to the right of us."

The game was fun, but I found myself extremely happy when it was over.

"Mom, Dad, I want to ride home with you I need to ask you something." Alice says brushing past Jasper and me.

"Honey can it wait, we need to take Jasper back to the house." Esme says as the five of us stop walking.

"Edward, could you bring Jasper back to the house? PLEASE….." Alice said turning towards me.

I looked between her, Esme, and Carlisle, then to Jasper.

"Um sure, if you're ok with that Jasper, I'm still unsure of my way around Forks." I ran my hand through my hair as I said this.

"Sounds good, let me be your guide." He smiled back at me as we headed towards my car.

The drive home was spent in silence, seeing as neither of us knew what to say.

I couldn't stop myself from running my hand through my hair multiple times as I searched for something to say.

We were the first ones back from the football game, I noticed as I pulled into the garage, I find this strange since I saw Carlisle's car leave before us.

Jasper is almost to the door before I even have time to get out of the car.

"Jasper wait." I say rushing over to him and grabbing onto his forearm. His eyes were full of confusion as he turned towards me.

"Edw…" That's as far as he got as my lips crash onto his, he tasted divine and I found myself melting into him as he pulled us inside the house.

When we pulled apart we were both breathless, and I quickly became self-conscious, wondering if I did that right. Maybe I screwed up, maybe he didn't want me to kiss him. I couldn't stop the thoughts that bombarded my mind as he stayed silent.

"Wow." He finally says with a bashful smile.

_Thank God. _I silently say as I get lost into his eyes.

"Wow." I say back as Carlisle's car pulls into the garage.

"Sorry we're late; we picked up ice-cream!" Alice said coming inside.

**AN: and I must stop there, though since its Thursday I may be able to post again this weekend :)**

**What did you think? Please let me know.**


	24. Coming out

**AN: I own nothing… sadly. **

**Ok while I would love to have a total of 300 reviews before the update I couldn't believe how many reviews I received in less than 24 hrs, I currently have 296. So this is for all of you, BIG thanks must go to… Jaspergirl1123, Snusa, jphab, Nakole82, cbaty, I', Navygirl14, delphius2004, PockyPand4, kenhat, teambellaedward, bbbluez, embracingtws, Heidi34… (I think I got all of you. If I missed someone sorry and Thanks)**

**~23~**

**EPOV-**

Jasper and I were still incredibly close to each other as Carlisle and Esme followed Alice into the house.

"Hello guys everything ok?" Esme asks as she passes us.

"Um yeah, everything is good." My voice shook as I answered. I could feel my face flush as I answered, suddenly aware that I've never told the family that I thought I was gay. After kissing Jasper I know that I am surly gay.

_Wait is Jasper gay? What if he isn't and just didn't want to insult me by pulling away? Or what if he was just experimenting, not knowing his preference? _

_Gosh I seriously need to stop talking to myself. _While I thought this I started to pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to get that nagging voice to stop.

"Edward, everything ok?" Carlisle asked concern obvious on his face. "You're as white as a ghost."

"Yeah I'm fine…" I answered before I quickly added. "Uh, what kind of ice-cream did you get?" I suddenly wanted all the attention off of me.

"We got a few, since we couldn't agree on which was your favorite." Alice said bringing me four containers. "And Jazzy we got your favorite, chocolate chip cookie dough." With that she handed Jasper his.

I took the last cookie dough container as Alice put the rest in the freezer for when Rose and Emmett got home. Though apparently they went to the pizza joint with the rest of the student body, apparently they did this after every home game.

"Cookie dough is my favorite ice-cream too." I say to Jasper as the two of us take seats at the table with Esme and Carlisle.

The five of us sat there and talked about the game as we ate.

"What did you think about watching the game?" Esme asked.

"It was a little confusing I'm not really big on sports." I admit.

Alice kept looking between Jasper and me the entire time we were at the table and I would have to admit she was starting to give me the creeps, it's like she knows something.

Jasper and I don't have any more alone time as Emmett and Rose get home and Jasper announces that he had to work in the morning and should take off, "Feel free to come and see me sometime." Jasper had said to me before leaving. Emmett gave Rose and Jasper a ride home as the rest of us finished watching the movie.

"Wait," I say as the family all starts to scatter, soon after Emmett arrives back home. "Can I talk to all of you before you go?"

Alice just nods and skips over to the couch.

Emmett looks lost but soon follows Alice and claims a chain in the living room.

Carlisle and Esme give each other a worried look before also taking a seat on the couch.

I take a seat in the last chair.

"I have something I should tell you." I state nervously as my palms become sweaty. I don't know how much time had passed but soon Carlisle was speaking.

"Go on son you can tell us."

"Iwasn'tsureuntilnowbutI'magay." I quickly say, all the words coming out together.

"Edward, could you please repeat that?" Esme said giving me a kind smile. "Slower this time perhaps?"

"Well I didn't think so, but then I did and…." I started to ramble. "And well I don't know what to say. But it's true now and I can't hide it and well, I'm not sure exactly what but I know it now…." I'm unsure how long a rambled. "I'm gay." I finally said my heart loudly pounding as I waited for someone to say something.

"I knew it." Alice said clapping her hands like a child on Christmas day. "This is going to be so fun, we can go shopping and…." I blocked Alice out after she said shopping and turned my attention towards Carlisle and Esme.

"You're gay? That's it?" Carlisle spoke first.

"Edward, sweaty, there's nothing wrong with that." Esme said as they both got up to hug me.

"Dude, you kissed Jaz." Emmett said finally understanding what was going on. "I knew there had to be a reason for his big grin."

"So you're all ok with it?" I said still unsure if I was in trouble or not.

"Yes Edward, we love you." Carlisle pulled me into a hug.

"Group hug!" Alice yelled as she crashed into us joined by Esme who was a little gentler than Alice and Emmett who tried to give us all bear hugs. "And we can throw a coming out party!"

"Alice no party!" The four of us said at the same time, causing all of us to laugh.

"Goodnight son, love you." Carlisle said giving me one more hug before turning and hugging Alice and Emmett.

"Goodnight dear, we love you no matter what. Remember that." Esme said before hugging me.

"G'night, love you both too." I say as they make their way towards their room.

After saying goodnight to Alice and Emmett, I head into my room and close the door.

When I am finally alone I can't help the smile that spreads across my face as I remember the feel of Jaspers lips on mine, the feel of his slightly calloused hands on the back of my neck. The way his voice sounded when he finally spoke. _"Wow." _

That night I fell asleep peacefully without sleeping pills.

**-Saturday morning-**

I woke up well rested and smiling with thoughts of Jasper.

Jasper had work at the town's bookstore and I had every intention to go see him. Talk to him about what happened and what would happen now, between the two of us.

"Good Morning Edward." Esme said as I walked into the kitchen. Emmett was already shoveling food down his throat.

"Morning." I say as I grab a plate and waffles before Emmett eats them all.

"Anything planned for today? Emmett has practice later today and Alice and I are going shopping, she needs new PE shoes." As she is talking she hands me two fresh and hot waffles.

"I think I may go to the book store." I stare at my plate hoping my expression won't give me away.

"Dude you have like a million books." Emmett says between mouthfuls.

"Yeah, um... A new book in that series I was reading just came out and um… I thought that I would…"

"Edward dear its fine, ignore Emmett he doesn't read much. Do you have cash?" Esme asks as she reaches into her purse for her wallet.

"No I'm fine. Thanks." I say with a smile as I finish my breakfast.

**AN: yep I just stop it there.**

**Sorry :P**

**Please update if you want more, I may not update again this weekend but if I'm in a good mood I may reply nicely to your reviews ;)**


	25. A Storm

**AN: I have been asked to advertise for a Slash award. Please check out the AN at the end of the chapter. Thank-you embracingtws**

**Like everyone else on this site I own nothing.**

**~24~**

**JPOV-**  
The football game was like every other game I had been to, boring, with large crowds, and loud fans. Soon after the game ends I find myself being offered a ride from Edward.

"Sounds good, let me be your guide." I say, and then I mentally criticize myself. How could I say something so cheesy sounding? My palms are sweaty, as we make the drive in almost complete silence.  
When Edward pulls into the driveway, I practically run towards the door.  
"Jasper, wait," Edward's voice says behind me, as he grabs onto my arm.

I'm confused by this, but slowly turn to face him.  
"Edw…" I start, knowing he's going to ask about what happened last weekend during movie night. How can I explain my undeniable attraction towards him, when we barely know each other, and he's already been through so much pain?  
I am not able to finish talking, as his lips on mine soon cut me off. I don't know, how long we kissed, but we are both breathless, when we pull apart, time seems to stand still, as I work on catching my breath.

"Wow." I say as I feel my face flush and a small smile forms on my face.  
"Wow." He agrees as Carlisle's car pulls into the garage and Alice jumps out.  
"Sorry we're late; we picked up ice-cream!" Alice says, coming inside.

The rest of the night, all I can think about is, wanting to get Edward alone again, to talk and possibly kiss again. Alice keeps looking at Edward and myself, like she knows something has happened.  
Time goes by quickly as we finish the ice-cream and then Emmett and Rose arrive at the house.  
Soon after they walk in the house we say our goodbyes

"Feel free to come and see me sometime." I whisper to Edward as I head out the door and Emmett gives Rose and me a ride home.

I tell Emmett there is no reason for me needing a ride Saturday evening since I was promised that my car would be done and delivered to me before I get off of work, but I happily accept his offer to drive me to work, since Saturday is supposed to be full of rain and thunder clouds.

**EPOV-**

My heart's pounding in my chest as I pull into the bookstore's parking lot. Not only I do have plans to see Jasper, I am also alone in public. Since moving in with my father, at all times someone has been at my side. Now, here I sit in my car, in public and alone and my family is doing their own daily things. Taking a deep breath, my shaking hand opens the door and I step out into the rain.  
"Hello there, welcome to Fantasy Book Store." A woman says as I enter the front door. "I'm the owner, Amy Newton. Are you new in town?" My mouth is dry as I try to form coherent words.  
"Hi, I'm Edward Cullen; I am looking for a book." I stammer out, grateful that I am actually able to make a somewhat fluently sentence coming out.  
"Cullen? Oh you're that boy that…" She is thankfully interrupted by my name being called out.  
"Edward?" Jasper's voice sounds, coming from one of the aisles as he walks towards me. "Can I help you find something?"  
"Hi Jasper, I am looking for that new Riley Jenson book." I say, thankful that my voice doesn't shake as my eyes lock with his.

"Right this way." He says as he turns and ushers for me to follow. We silently walk through the store, weaving in and out of the shelves until we come to the right section.  
"Moon Sworn," Jasper says, handing the new book to me. "Just came out today."  
"So um."… "Edward I..." We both start talking at the same time.  
"Go ahead." I say nervous at what he is going to say.  
"So um, are you..."he is nervous as his eyes avoid meeting mine. "I assumed so, but I've never... and you did... and, well are you gay?" He's finally able to whisper out.

"Um yes, I am." I say, suddenly conscious of the fact that he hasn't told me if he's gay or not.

"I am too." He replies quietly. "I have my lunch break in 15 minutes, would you like to join me? There's this sub shop across the street that I like to go to."

I couldn't stop the wide grin that spreads across my face, as he asks me to join him for lunch.  
"I would like that."  
"I have to get back to work." He says as he turns to leave. "There are some chairs over there you can sit at and wait for me." He motions to a corner with two soft looking chairs, before he goes back to work.

I pay the young cashier girl, before taking a seat. I'm thankful as I sit, that my back is to the corner, the bookstore is getting busier and somewhat crowded. I am totally immersed into the book, as Jasper approached me.

"Edward, you ready to go?" Jasper asks, as I placed my receipt into the book, to hold my spot and put the book back into the bag.

"Sure let's go."  
We awkwardly sit across from each other in the 'Sub Sandwich Shop'.  
"So, um maybe we can talk about what happened last night?" Jasper is tense as he begins to talk. "I, I've never dated." Jasper shyly admits.  
"Neither have I, I wasn't allowed to." I can feel tears start to form.  
"You don't have to talk about that." Jasper says as he grabs my hand and gives it a soft reassuring squeeze. I use my other hand to wipe away the unshed tears.

All too soon it is time for him to get back to work  
"Thank you Edward for coming to lunch with me, it was nice."  
"Thanks for the invite, would you maybe, like to come over and watch a movie tonight, with me?" My heartbeat quickens as I invite him over.  
"Sure, that sounds like fun, I get off work at 5:00, I can pick us up a pizza on the way over?" He says making it sound more like a question than a statement.  
"Ok, that sounds good. Do you have a movie preference?" I inquire.

"I like all kinds of movies. Have you seen the X-men movies? They are great with the Blu-ray player." I make a note to check that we own X-men when I get home.

"Have fun at work, I'll see you later Jasper." I yell as he reenters the bookstore and I head towards my car.

The rain is falling heavily as Esme knocks on my bedroom door.

"Honey, Carlisle and I are going out to dinner tonight, Emmett's out with Rose, and Alice will probably be in her room all night. Are you going to be ok?"

"Yeah, um, I invited Jasper over," I say before quickly adding "If that's ok."

"Sure Edward, it's perfectly fine, you two have fun, you remember where we keep the flashlights and candles right?" She says the mother in her coming out.

"Yes, we'll be fine." I answer, I've lived here for months and we haven't lost electricity yet.

5:30 on the dot Jaspers car is pulling into the driveway, I was thankful for our covered driveway as I opened the door and walked out to him, helping him by grabbing the pizza from him as he moves to grab something else.

"I brought us some ice-cream also." Jasper says as he holds up the grocery bag so I can clearly see chocolate chip cookie dough ice-cream inside.

"Thanks, let's get out of this weather and inside."

I place the ice-cream inside the freezer and head upstairs with our pizza and sodas. We sit next to each other on the couch as the movie starts. The pizza tastes wonderful as I practically inhale it, through the first half of the movie. Between the two of us we finished off the entire large pizza, our legs kept bumping, causing goose bumps to rise on my skin.

"Edward…" That's as far as Jasper got as the electricity cut off and we are left in the dark.

I could help my reaction as I hugged my knees no my chest and began to rock back and forth, as I will myself not to remember the memories that were slowly slipping back in.

"_Stupid, stupid boy!" Elizabeth yelled. "Get down there." She said pushing me towards the basement. "Mom, Mommy, please, its dark down there will you turn on a light?" I cry as my mother shoved me down into the darkness, closing the door and shutting all light from me as she did. _

"No please, don't leave me in the dark." I yell.

_The rain was seeping into the basement as I made my way towards my makeshift bed. Every few minutes lightning would flash across the sky and light up the basement, my prison. The thunder made the entire house shake, and I couldn't help the tears that escaped me._

"_Boy, get up here now!" Phil's voice called as the door to the basement opened._

"_It's storming. Do you know what that means?" he asked his hand going to the back of my neck and holding tight. "Get up stairs, NOW!" _

_I could do nothing but listen to him as I was pushed towards the room. _

"I'll be good. Please, not again." I yell as I try to get the memories to stop.

"Edward…" I slowly become aware of my name being called. "Edward, please calm down. It's Jasper, you're safe… Edward?" His voice sounded panicky and was slowly getting closer to me. "Edward, Please calm down. It's Jasper and you are safe, I promise no one is going to hurt you again." He repeated.

"J...Jas, Jasper?" I shakily reply as I open my eyes and lift my head.

Jaspers holding a flashlight as I can see the concerned look on his face as he slowly steps closer towards me.

"I, I don't like storms." I say as I pull him towards me.

"Shh… Edward, it's alright." Jaspers gently rubs my back, calmly as he hugs me. "Would you like to explain to me what happened?"

"The storm and then the dark, I just couldn't keep the memories away. It felt so real." We stay like that, him holding me telling me that everything was alright.

I'm finally able to calm down after half an hour and am grateful when the lights come back on 15 minutes later.

"Thank you Jasper." I say as I move out of his arms.

**AN: Thanks for reading, please review. :) Yep, Amy Newton, as in Mike's mom. **

**arianawhitlock- "Smokin' Hot Edward Slash 2010 award up for grabs! We are looking for one-shots with Edward/Jasper that include SLASH & HUMOR! Min. 7,000. Sp/Grammer considered. PM us to enter! Top 3 will be added to our community. All entries must be in by Nov 15th. Results will be posted by Dec.31st. All authors must be 18+yrs no exceptions!"**


	26. Sleep over

**AN: Thanks for the reviews. I own nothing. **

**~25~**

**JPOV-**

When the lights come back on, Edward thanks me as he moves out of my embrace and goes to stand.

"I'm sorry for the hell you've been through." I say before thinking. Edward freezes half standing, half sitting on the couch.

"Wh… what, do ... - you know?" His voice cracks as he speaks and I can tell he's nervous again, as I curse myself for being an idiot.

"I um…" I'm unsure, where to start, as I take a minute to decide. Edward is now sitting back on the couch, staring at me, his eyes looking sad as I jump into what I know.

_- July 2nd-_

_Alice had been on the phone for almost thirty minutes as Emmett, Rose and I just stared at her. _

_"I think we should go to the hospital and wait for some news." By saying we, she meant all of us, even though she knew I despise hospitals after Rose and I lost our mom less than a year ago._

_"But Jazzy you have to come!" She practically whined. "So you're coming and I won't hear another word against it." I reluctantly agreed, knowing never to bet against Alice. She just gave me a knowing smile as she grabbed her purse and the three of us followed her out to Emmett's Jeep._

I leave out the fact that we read his poems and saw him at the hospital as I tell him about what happened when we got back to the Cullen's house.

_"Emmy Bear, what happened to him?" Rose asked as we all took seats on the couches. _

_"His mom had full custody of him. We don't really know much, but we know that they abused him." Emmett's normally happy face was full of sadness as he spoke. _

_"They?" I ask before Emmett could continue._

_"His mom Elizabeth and step dad Phil. They," Emmett paused seeming at a loss for words, which never happened. "They abused him in every way." Rose let out a gasp as it sank in, what Em meant by every way. "He's literally has been through hell." Em finished as anger escaped him. _

I wait silently for Edward to say something, anything.

**EPOV- present day **

I sit there staring at him, hardly able to believe what he actually knows about me.

"You've known all this time?" I'm finally able to say after a few minutes of silence.

"Yes." He whispers out, not meeting my eye. Silence falls between us as Jasper waits for me to talk, I decide to get off this subject and onto a new one and ask a question, I've been wondering since our kiss.

"Does everyone know?" I ask, when he gives me a confused look, I continue: "Does everyone know you're gay?"

"No, Rose knows, so does your family. My dad doesn't know, he, um… he wouldn't be ok with it. My mom knew." He replies, looking slightly sad as he mentions his mom.

"Knew?" I ask, confirming that he speaks in past tense.

"Yes, she died a year ago." He quickly says.

"I'm sorry." I whisper and let it drop, though I know there is more to the story, but I don't push him for answers.

"Hey guys." Alice says bouncing into the room, setting up candles that she says are battery operated and taking a seat between us. The three of us don't say anything as an awkward silence falls upon us. Thankfully just when I am about to explode from said awkwardness my phone rings.

"Hello?" I say not even bothering to look at the caller id as I answer the call, causing Jasper and Alice to turn their attention towards me.

"Hello… Edward this is Carlisle…"Static was breaking up the call as I strain to hear him. "Esme and I are sta…. ave a hotel…. See…. Tomorrow…." The line goes dead as our power again shuts off. I'm suddenly thankful that Alice has placed the battery operated candles around the room giving us enough light to see by.

"We got cut off and I could barely understand them, but dad and Esme are staying in at hotel tonight." I finally say when I realize both Alice and Jasper are waiting for me to say something.

"Well that's better than them driving in the storm; yeah my cell doesn't have any service either. Storm must have busted a cell tower near here." Alice said pulling at her phone and examining it. "Jaz you'll stay the night right? It would be best not to drive in this." I can feel my heart do a flip as Alice asks Jasper to stay.

"Uh, yeah sure." He says as Alice starts to clap her hands and practically jumps up and down.

"The three of us will have so much fun, we can do makeovers!" Jasper and I both freeze as Alice says this.

"Ali, what makes you think we want to do makeovers?" Jasper asks, sounding slightly scared at the thought of getting a makeover.

"But it would be soooo much fun!" Alice says not getting any further as Jasper lets out a sigh and I say a loud "no!"

"Alice just because we're gay doesn't mean, we want to do makeovers." I say in hopes that Alice will listen to me.

"But…." She starts to pout as she talks. From downstairs we here the front door slam shut.

"Hey anyone home?" Emmett's voice booms through the house.

Saved by the arrival of Emmett and Rose. I thought as the three of us make our way downstairs, Alice has set up multiple lights around the house and again I find myself being grateful towards her.

"Hey." I say in greeting from the stairs as Alice and Jasper hug both Rose and Emmett.

"Jasper has already agreed to stay the night, you'll stay too Rose, right? We could have one big sleepover." Alice says pulling away from Rose.

"Yeah sure." Rose says as Alice starts to jump around, saying something about getting the air mattresses and sleeping bags.

The five of us end up setting up a sleeping area in the entertainment room. We each have a twin sized mattress seeing as the "Cullen" family rule is that if you're dating you can't sleep together under their roof.

**AN: I'm sorry for the longer than normal wait. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'll try to update by Friday. Please Review, reviews make me want to update.**


	27. Games, Fears, and Cooking

**AN: I own nothing… Thank you to those who reviewed last chapter. I'm so so sorry for the long wait on this next chapter. I could go into long detail about school and work. But I think I'll just jump into the chapter…**

_Last Chapter: __"Jasper has already agreed to stay the night, you'll stay too Rose, right? We could have one big sleepover." Alice says pulling away from Rose._

_"Yeah sure." Rose says as Alice starts to jump around, saying something about getting the air mattresses and sleeping bags._

_The five of us end up setting up a sleeping area in the entertainment room. We each have a twin sized mattress seeing as the "Cullen" family rule is that if you're dating you can't sleep together under their roof._

**~26~**

**EPOV- **

Our mattresses are set up in a circle so that we can continue to talk after getting into our beds. It's Alice's idea to play truth or dare, though going by her rules we will only being playing truth, since the house was too cold to get out of bed to do a dare and the storm outside made it unsafe to go out there.

"Ok I should go first." Alice announces as she turns towards Rose who is on her left. "Who was your first kiss?"

Rose blushes as she looks at Emmett. "Robbie Palmer." She giggles as Emmett's moth hangs open.

"But I thought…" Emmett starts before he is shushed by Alice.

"Nope Em it's not your turn, so stay quiet."

Rose looks between Jasper, Emmett, and I as she thinks of whom to ask a question of. Emmett's practically bouncing out of his bed trying to get her to pick him.

"Edward…" She says as she pauses. "Emmett tells me you write poems. Have you ever published any?"

"Um, yeah a few years back I entered a contest online and my poem was chosen. It's published under a different name though." I say as I become aware that I now have to ask someone a question.

"Emmett, do you have a secret talent? If so what is it?" I finally ask.

"Um…" Emmett got this goofy look on his face as he thought about it. "Rose taught me how to do a back handspring. Finally my turn!" He says making it seem like he's had to wait hours for his turn. "Jasper, what would you do for a Klondike bar?"

"Em what kind of question is that?" Jasper says as he attempts and fails at containing his laughter.

"It's your question so answer it." Emmett laughs out.

"I would jump into your pool in the middle of winter." I can't help but laugh as Jasper answers. "Ok Alice your turn, describe your best dream."

"Oh! Well last week when i was sleeping I had a dream that my fashion line took off and I was featured on Americas Next Top Model and Tyra Banks had me make her a unique dress for the show. It was a really great dream. Ok Edward your turn again, if you could meet one famous person alive or dead who would it be?"

"I wouldn't mind meeting Edgar Allan Poe." I say before I am cut off by Alice.

"He's the one that says "Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary." I laugh at her.

"Among other things like, "Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." Jasper says as he looks at me with a small smile on his face. I could feel my face heat up as I thought of what question I should ask.

"Jasper, what is one unique thing you're afraid of?"

"Unique?" I could practically see the gears turning as he thinks about my question. "It's not unique but I'm afraid of bees."

Rose lets out a laugh before adding that she and Jasper are both allergic to bee stings and always have to be taken to the hospital after getting stung.

We played a few more rounds before deciding to call it a night. There was only one light on and soon everyone fell into a peaceful sleep.

Everyone but me, I stayed away looking at Jasper, thinking about what we were doing. Wondering why I had kissed him and what I was doing.

"_Boy this is your fault. You are worthless and you ruin everything. You should just disappear, no one will miss you. You just screw up everyone's lives." _A memory of Phil filled my thoughts; there was nothing I could do as my past caught up to me. Phil had dragged me to the bathroom and ripped off my shirt. "_Look at you with your discussing scars. Who would ever want that?"_ _Phil laughs as he touches my bare chest tracing the scars that HE had given me. _

I wake suddenly my heart threatening to pound out of my chest. There was a small sliver of sunlight coming in through the window and as I looked around I noticed I was the only one awake. Quietly I made my way towards the bathroom, not even bothering to lock the door as I lift my shirt over my head. I use one of my fingers to trace the repulsive and horribly ugly scars that I bore. I'm unsure how long I stood there and when I finally looked up into the mirror I could see my eyes puffy and red. Bringing my hand to my face I wipe away tears that I was unaware I had been shedding. I quickly wash my face with cool water and make my way back towards my sleeping bag and quickly fall back to sleep.

The next time I wake up the sun is shining brightly and Alice is calling out all our names telling us that its time to wake up, before she exits the room.

Yawning as I stretch I notice that Jasper is no where in sight, Emmett and Rose who were starting to make out, both still in their sleeping bags. Suddenly the room felt too small for the three of us and I made my exit, deciding to see where Alice and Jasper were.

The smell of French toast and bacon and eggs met me as I came down the stairs, following the soft mummer of Alice's and Jasper's voices. When I opened the door to the kitchen I could see Jasper with an apron on over his pj's, he was bent over the stove flipping a slice of French toast as Alice talked about a guy named Tyler. I softly cleared my throat, in order to kind of announce my presence to them since they seemed to be distracted.

"Edward." Jasper says as he turns towards me. "How did you sleep?" He asks as he comes towards me, totally forgetting about the food he was cooking.

"Fine and you?" I ask as I turn my attention to Alice, "Good morning to you too Alice."

**AN: ok I know it's short and not much happened. I just needed to post so you all know I will continue to write I just have one more month of school left for this semester. Please as always review, they make me want to update :)**


	28. What?

**AN: I own nothing. Please enjoy :)**

**~27~**

**JPOV-**

A soft noise coming from the bathroom wakes me and I slowly look around wondering who it could be. The second I notice Edwards's sleeping bag empty I climb out of mine and head to the closed door of the bathroom.

"Repulsive, horrible, ugly…" I could hear Edward saying as his voice cracks and I knew he had also began to cry. "Worthless, unlovable, ruined, used…"

It takes all my strength not to barge into the bathroom, but I knew barging in there would scare him. I was almost positive that he didn't know he was saying anything out loud. When I hear the bathroom sink come on I rush back to my sleeping bag and pretend to be asleep. It only takes him five minutes to fall back asleep and after I know he's sleeping I get out of my sleeping bag and head down the stairs to the kitchen.

The entire house was dark as I made my way towards the kitchen to make something warm to drink.

"Good morning Jasper, your tea will be ready in one minute." Alice's voice says coming from a completely dark corner and causing me to jump.

"Ali don't do that you almost gave me a heart attack." I say as I go to sit with her, turning on a dim light as I do. "What are you doing up so early anyway?"

"Oh well I couldn't sleep. So I decided to come down here, I knew you would be down soon. We should make breakfast for the others. I know French toast is Edwards's favorite." Alice knew me so well, I enjoyed cooking it was one of my favorite hobbies and I was good at it. I almost always helped Esme out with meals if I arrived early enough.

"Ok Pixy let's get cooking." I say turning on more lights as I start to grab the necessary ingredients.

"Don't forget the bacon!" Alice yells as she goes to set the table.

"Ali the only bacon in this thing is something called turkey bacon, what the crap is this stuff?" I yell holding it up and sniffing it, it kind of looked like bacon but that's where the similarities stopped.

"Don't ask me it's Edward who wanted it." I shrug when she replies. If Edward wanted it I'll make sure to make it, I also decide to make scrambled eggs.

Alice was in the middle about talking about this guy Tyler from school when Edward came into the room.

"Edward." I say turning towards him. "How did you sleep?"

"Fine and you?" He asks before turning his attention towards Alice, "Good morning to you too Alice."

"Fine, I'm making breakfast. Alice mentioned to like French toast." I say suddenly feeling awkward.

"Yeah, um everything smells great."

Emmett and Rose arrive at the table right when everything was ready to be served.

"Em how is it that you always show up right when the food is ready?" I tease as I take a seat next to Edward.

"Oh man, you know I'm just that talented." He laughs as he takes a seat and starts to dig in.

We are all content to eat in silence and the minute we are done Emmett and Rose disappeared upstairs and soon Edward was also disappearing upstairs.

"Jasper, I'll clean up here." Alice said just as Edward got to the foot of the stairs.

"Thanks." I say as I head towards Edward.

"Edward, could we go talk alone somewhere?" I whisper to him when I reach him.

"Uh…. Sure Jasper, we can go into the piano room." As he said that he moved towards the so called piano room.

"Um so what did you want to talk about Jasper?" Edward asked after we sat in silence for about five minutes.

"Edward I.."

**Carlisle POV- Yesterday**

"They are what?" I practically yell at our attorney.

"I'm sorry Mr. Cullen; there is nothing left I can do. They are pleading insanity, so there will be no trial. The Elizabeth and Phil Mason are being taken to a mental hospital in Chicago as we speak; the courts are stating that this is a closed case." The Cullen's attorney Mr. Kimble said.

"So that's it?" Esme says taking my hand. "There is nothing that can be done? They are just going to get away with this?"

"Mr. Cullen there's more. They have a chance to be released in their doctor's think that they have approved. If released with a doctor's verification, Elizabeth resumes full custody of Edward." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Please make the appropriate arrangements so that Esme and I can legally have full undisputed custody of Edward." I say just as his secretary walks in.

"Mr. Kimble your 4:00 appointment has been waiting for ten minutes." When she says this I look at my watch it was already 4:10.

"Thank you for your time." I say shaking his hand and praying there is something that can be done.

**AN: Ok sorry that it's sort but my week has been really crazy. Please let me know what you think and I hope to update this weekend with a longer chapter. :)**


	29. Time

**AN: I own nothing… Please enjoy :) THANK YOU everyone who reviewed… 393 reviews. So please enjoy! **

**~28~**

**JPOV- **

"Um so what did you want to talk about Jasper?" Edward asked after we sat in silence for about five minutes.

"Edward I heard you this morning." I said as I watch for his reaction. "I wasn't trying to spy on you or anything, but I heard you crying and when I got to the bathroom door I could hear you speaking to yourself." I could hear myself rambling as I spoke and I paused for a moment to compose myself.

"Jasper," Edwards's voice was so quiet it almost didn't hear it. "What all did you hear?" he asks when I look at him.

"Lies," I state as I meet his eyes. "I heard a bunch of lies. Edward you are not any of those things. "You are far from repulsive, horrible, and ugly…"

"But my scars." Edward interrupts me.

"Your scars are a testament at how strong you are." I say reaching for his hand and holding it in mine. "You are not worthless, Edward you are one of the smartest guys I know. Ruined and used? Edward do you really see that, do you really believe the lies that he has told you?" I could feel tears forming in my eyes as I talked. It's highly unlike me to act this way yet somehow I find myself staring at Edward trying to get him to understand that he is none of those things. "And Edward you're not unlovable. Carlisle and Esme love you, so does Emmett and Alice; I think even Rose likes you. And well…. I, I really um like you." My face was now red as I break eye contact and stare at the floor.

"Jasper," Edward whispers as he gently pulls my chin up to look at him. He said nothing else as his lips meet mine and all thoughts of talking goes out the window.

"Thank you Jasper," He says a little breathless when we break apart. "You're too good for me." I hear him whisper as he stands and I'm almost sure that I'm not meant to hear the last part.

"Edward how can you think that?" I say as I grab his arm and turn him towards me.

"You don't know anything!" he practically yells as he twists out of my grip

"Then explain it to me." I say as I attempt to stay calm.

"This was my entire life." He yells as he pulls up one of his sleeves to reveal his bare arm with a ton of scars. I can see the burn marks on him wrist.

Before I can comprehend what I'm doing I had reached out and started tracing the long jagged scar that ran from his wrist and under his rolled up sleeve.

"I don't know how to be normal, I'm ruined." He quickly crumpled to the ground as tears freely flowed from him. "It's all I've ever known. It's all the memories I have."

I wrap my arms around him as I gently lay a kiss on his neck.

"Then you'll just have to make new memories," I whisper into his ear as I relish in the feel of his body curled into mine. "Good memories."

"You think I'll be able to do that." Edward says as he twists in my grip in order to look at me.

"Yes, I know we'll be able to do that." I say as we end with a kiss.

**Carlisle POV-**

When Esme and I arrived at the house we politely made it known that we needed to talk as a family. I watched through the window as Jasper and Rose took off.

"Daddy what's wrong?" Alice says as she skips over towards the kitchen table where Esme was just placing dinner onto the table.

"I'll explain everything once everyone sits down." I say as I go to sit down. "Ali where are the guys?" I ask when I see no sign of them.

"Oh my brothers will be down soon, Em's just finishing up a level on a game of his and Edward is back in the bathroom staring at his scars like he's been doing lately when he's alone."

I frown at the last bit of Alice's information, Esme and I have noticed Edward slowly starting to withdraw into himself when alone. Although when not alone he seemed to be coming out of his shell, talking and laughing like any regular teenager. Esme's room was quickly becoming the piano room that Edward has taken a great liking to, spending hours playing the piano while Alice and Emmett are at school.

It only took a few more minutes before both Edward and Emmett join us at the table.

"So dad what is the news?" Edward shyly asks as he starts piling food onto his plate.

"Yeah daddy-o what's up?" Em says his mouth full of food already.

"Esme and I spoke to our lawyer yesterday. He has informed us that Elizabeth and Phil have pleaded insanity, they are being emitted into a hospital as we speak."

"WHAT?" Alice's yell cut me off. "How could they get away with that?"

"Apparently Elizabeth suffers from a genetic mental disability, Elizabeth is extremely bipolar. But I had something better I wished to discuss. Edward, how would you feel about filing for emancipation?"

"What? Dad what is eman….emaci… what is that?"

"Emancipation, I could file a request for the courts to proclaim me a legal adult." Edward says answering Emmett's question. "It's so she can't get custody of me again isn't it?" He asks meeting my eyes, his voice slightly shaky as he spoke.

"It's a precaution Edward. You don't need to worry, they're never coming near you again." I say as I try to reassure my youngest son. He's come so far from the scared little kid that had come to live with us so many months ago.

"Ok, so what do I have to do?" I was slightly shocked at the strength in Edwards's voice.

"I have all the information in my office, all you have to do is look over it and fill in the information."

**Edwards POV:**

The next day Carlisle and I read and reread through all the information his lawyer was able to give him on emancipation.

Two weeks later Carlisle and I were inside a small court room as he reviewed my file and came up with a decision.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, I hereby grant you emancipation from your parents and legal guardians Elizabeth Marie Mason and Carlisle Alex Cullen. Does anyone have any questions?" I figured the judge asks this question every time since he seemed like he didn't want to ask it.

"So, that's it?" I couldn't help myself as I ask. It almost seemed too simple.

"Yes, that is it. You are legally an adult." With that the judge stood and left.

**~Time Pass~**

The days and weeks that followed stayed relatively the same, I continued to attend therapy sessions twice a week, I spent as much time as I could with Jasper and I had to keep pushing myself to interact with everyone in an attempt to stay normal.

Normal, like I could be normal.

My nightly dreams hadn't stopped. Though I stayed quiet about them, I didn't want Carlisle to find out about them. I didn't want him to worry about me too much more.

**~Time Pass~**

_Lingering memories from my past,_

_Voices that continue to haunt my waking hours. _

_The scars that littler my body,_

_Never ending reminders of what happened…._

"Hey Edward have you seen…" Alice says as she walks right into my room and I quickly close my notebook. "Oh are you writing again? Can I read it?"

"No, it's nothing. Did you need anything Alice?" I say as nice as I can, wishing she would stop to try to read my poems and dig in to my past.

"Yes, have you seen my history book?"

"No Alice sorry I haven't seen it." I reply, she gives me a short smile and skips off back down the hall.

I gave a soft sigh as I look at the clock again.

10:05 a.m.

I still have over seven hours before my first official date with Jasper. Just the two of us, he's picking me up and we are going to dinner.

**AN: Thanks again to all the reviewers. Have a happy thanksgiving :) Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. Not everything I have mentioned is correct, I'm not entirely sure about all the laws and I know some that I mentioned are not correct. This is a work of fiction and has plenty of fiction in it. I have three big finals coming up December 13, 14 & 15… I can't promise when I will update next, though I'll try to update next weekend, but I can promise I will at least update that weekend. :)**


	30. Date Disaster?

**AN: I own nothing…. I hope you enjoy this chapter :) I have three finals next week… Can't wait for this semester to finally be over. :)**

**With that being said this chapter is shorter than I had initially hoped. **

**~29~**

**JPOV- December 11th (Saturday)**

Work was crazy busy today and all I could think about was getting done and the date that Edward and I would go on tonight. Everyone was going crazy doing their Christmas shopping and I still had no idea what to get Edward.

As I stocked the bookshelves I couldn't help sneaking a peak at my watch…

10:30 a.m.

Great only like seven hours to go, this day is going to go on forever.

I thought as I placed the new best seller Last Sacrifice by: Richell Mead onto the bookshelf. I couldn't believe how nervous I was, I mean Edward and I have been together for a while now, it's not like this is the first time we'll be alone. I pause as it think about that. Alone… we'll be alone in public, Edward still hates going out in public. Crap, I hope I'm doing the right thing by taking him out. I say to myself as I continue working.

The day passed slowly and with every tick of the clock I became more nervous about picking Edward up and wondering what I was thinking last weekend when I asked him out.

_~Last Sunday~_

"_Edward?" I say breaking our comfortable silence._

"_Yes Jazz?" He says as he turns in my arms so that he can look at me._

"_Well um Edward, I was um wondering if you would be…" I stuttered over my words as I paused and started again. "Would you like to go out on a date with me?" I finally say though it all came out fast and I wasn't sure if he understood it. _

_Silence lingered in the air for what seemed like hours as I waited to Edward to say something._

"_Um, if you don't want to that's, well um, I should probably g…" a tight grip on my thigh stops me before I can get off the couch. I pause and look at Edward, then to his hand that was clutching my thigh._

"_I would love to go out with you Jasper." Edward shyly says as he gently pulls me into a kiss. _

**~Present~**

I smiled at the memory as my heart started pounding louder in my chest, almost threatening to come up and out of my throat.

Finally or all too soon I really wasn't sure which, it was 3:00 and I was leaving the bookstore and heading home to get ready for the long awaited and nerve-wracking first official date.

4:05 I stood in my room wrapped only in a towel as I stared at my clothes with no clue on what to wear.

5:03 I had to leave in like ten minutes to get to the Cullen's house by 5:30 and all I had on were white socks and boxers.

5:10 finally I decide on my boots, jeans that hugged me just right, and a dark green long sleeve button up shirt with a white design that had a cross like thing on one of the sides.

5:12 I took one more look in the mirror making sure everything looked ok. My acne caught my eye as I gently touched it. Sometimes I could swear it was getting better, but it still looked so bad that I couldn't be sure.

5:15 seeing the clock on the wall behind me I quickly grabbed my jacket and headed to the car and was soon off to pick up Edward, knowing that I would almost definitely be late.

**EPOV-**

"4:23" I say whispering to myself as I look back in my closet trying to decide what shirt to wear. Finally I decide on a dark green long sleeve button up shirt with some kind of dragon on the back.

"No Edward, don't wear that. I think the red looks better on you." Alice says as she pushes past me, grabbing the green shirt out of my hands as she does. "Yes, this one is perfect."

She says as I am handed a red and black flannel button up long sleeve shirt.

Shrugging I put it on after Alice skips out of my room.

It was 5:23 and Jasper would be pulling into the driveway in a matter of minutes and I couldn't sit still, all I could do was pace the living room while my heart loudly pounded.

"Edward sweetheart, why don't you take a seat?" Esme said looking up from the magazine she was pretending to read. Deciding to listen to Esme, I take a seat in one of the chairs facing the entryway and the door.

5:31 he was late and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach as I started to worry. Was he going to stand me up? What if he decided not to come?

My worries were soon silenced as a knock on the door made me look up from the watch that I had been staring at for the last few minutes.

"Darling are you going to answer the door or are you going to make that poor boy stand out in the cold and rain longer?" Esme says as she places her magazine on the coffee table.

"Oh um yeah." I stumble out as I practically race towards the door.

The sight of Jasper when I opened the door took my breath away. His curls had droplets of water dripping from them and his eyes were the bluest I have ever seen.

"Are you going to stand there staring or are you going to let me in?" He says with a grin as I quickly step aside for he can step into the house. "Edward, I'm sorry I'm late I was having trouble deciding what to wear."

He says as a slight tint appears on his cheeks, as he becomes slightly embarrassed, about what I am uncertain.

**JPOV-**

Edward looks truly breathtaking I notice as we awkwardly stand in the entryway to the Cullen's house.

"Oh you boys just look beautiful." Esme gushes as she comes over to us with a camera in hand. "Stand together now I want to get a picture of my boys first official date." I couldn't help the huge grin that formed on my face when she said my boys, including me as one of her own.

It took Edward and me ten minutes to get out of the house, but soon we were in my car heading towards the restaurant for dinner.

"Edward you look really nice tonight." I say as I drive down the driveway.

"Thanks, you look great to." He shyly replies.

"I hope you like Mexican." I say as we pull into the parking lot and heading into Casa Corona Mexican grill.

"Love it." He says as we both exit the car and make a dash into the restaurant.

"Jasper, good to see you how are you." The hostess said as we entered the doors.

"Angela things are good, this is Edward Cullen. Emmett and Alice's brother." I say as Edward grabs my hand, whether it's to claim his territory or because he's scared I am unsure but I give him a reassuring smile as we are shown to our table.

"Good to meet to Edward. I hope you both enjoy your dinner." Angela says as she runs off to help the next customers.

"Hi I'm Erick I'll be your waiter tonight, can I get you anything to drink?" our waiter said not even bothering to look up from his pad and pen.

"I'll take a coke please." I say praying Erick doesn't ruin this evening for Edward and I.

"I'll have a root beer please." Edward says looking between me and Erick. Since Erick was now staring at me.

"Sure thing I'll get that right away for you Hale." He sneers as he walks off.

"That was Erick; he goes to school with me." I say as Edward gives me a questionable look.

Dinner was going great as our drinks seemed to not be tampered with and our food was good. Conversation was decent and neither of us seemed bored, that I could tell. All in all our date was going good. We were holding hands across the table and he was smiling and laughing.

"Oh look who it is, it's the fag." A voice sneered at us. Edward quickly let go of my hand and put his in his lap. I didn't have to look up to know who was talking. Peter has harassed me practically my entire life. Suddenly I felt really stupid for bringing Edward out into public. I could see it in his body language as he starts to withdraw into himself. "I should say Fags, who are you his boyfriend?" Peter says turning his attention towards Edward. With that Edward starts to shake and I could see him starting to panic.

"Peter, why don't you just leave us alone?" I say not even looking at him.

"Oh Jasper doesn't like me picking on his boyfriend?" He said as he steps closer to Edward, too close I notice as Edwards shakes increase.

"Peter leave him alone." I say as I start to stand.

"No I don't think I will." He was now towering over Edward blocking Edward in the booth.

"Leave him alone Peter. He is Cullen brother." I say hoping that he'll back off. It worked.

"See you Monday at school Fag." He says looking at me as he takes off.

"Edward? Are you ok?" I say once we are again alone. Shaking he nods slightly.

"Um, Jasper can we, can we get out of here?" He wasn't looking at me, his head was bowed and he was still shaking.

"Sure let's go." I say after I pay and we both get up. I was happy when his shaking hand grabbed mine.

"Edward I'm sorry about what happened. I really wanted you to have a good time. Peter is a jerk." I say when the two of us are safely in my car. "I guess I'll take you home." I said wishing that I didn't have to end the night so quickly.

"No, it's not your fault." He says. "What were the plans for after dinner?"

I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face as he asks this. He didn't want our date to end.

"Teasers tea house is having a poetry reading of Edgar Allan Poe's poems. I thought you might enjoy it." I say as I turn on the car.

"That sounds good, lets good." His smile was breathtaking and his eyes looked amazing.

"Edward have I told you how amazing you look tonight?" I whisper as we kiss.

**AN: ok so you only get half their date sorry. But if you want to know how the rest of the date goes you may want to review. :) Thanks for reading.**


	31. The Tea House

**AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, especially cbaty, who understands that Edward adjustment to his new life, is going to take time. As always I own nothing. **

**~30~**

**EPOV- **

"Teasers tea house is having a poetry reading of Edgar Allan Poe's poems. I thought you might enjoy it." Jasper says, turning on the car and looking at me.

"That sounds good, lets good." I say trying my best to smile at him.

"Edward have I told you how amazing you look tonight?" He says as we pull into Teasers parking lot and he kisses me.

Teasers was fairly deserted I noticed as Jasper and I walked.

"Jasper Hale, how can I help you?" a snooty voice asked making me look at the counter and away from the menu.

"Hello Tanya, I would like a large chi tea, hot please." He says not even looking at her. "Edward do you know what you want?"

"Um yeah I'll have the same please." I say as I pull out my wallet.

"Edward put that away, I got you covered." Jasper says as he pays and takes an order number.

"Edward? As in Carlisle Cullen's son? What are you doing hanging around trash such as Jasper Hale." Tanya asked, eying me like I was her favorite desert.

Her comment surprised me and made to look away from Jasper and towards her.

"Jasper is not trash and we are dating." I say thankful that my voice stayed strong as we left her there with her mouth hanging open staring at our retreating forms.

We were able to find a couch off to the side that was comfortable enough for us.

After we received our drinks, thankfully from a different employee, I turn to Jasper. "What was that about?" I say when I notice how quiet he had gotten.

"What, oh um… nothing. You may have noticed Rosie and I don't exactly belong in the same class as you and your family." What he was saying was confusing me. Did he not know my past, and no I'm not just talking about the abuse part I am talking about the part where I didn't have any money.

"That doesn't matter though." I start to say before I'm cut off.

"Rose gets some of that too, from a few classmates. They call her a gold digger and such." We didn't have any more time to talk at the poetry reading started.

After the lights dimmed I pulled Jasper closer into my side.

I needed to feel him there, to know that he wouldn't leave, and to know that I wasn't alone in the dark.

The poetry reading was nice, but all too soon it was over and the night was late.

"Thanks for the date Jasper. I had fun" I shyly say as we pull into my driveway.

"I'm sorry about dinner and the tea house Edward. But I also had fun with you." Jasper looked sad that the night was over. But I also knew he worked early the next day and needed to get home.

"You have nothing to apologize for Jasper. Goodnight." I say as we share a heated kiss.

"I'll um, see you later?" he asks as I open the car door.

His question made me pause as I look at him.

"Yes Jasper I'll see you later." I lean in to kiss him one more time before stepping out into the rain. "You're stuck with me Jazz." I say closing the car door and making a mad dash to the covered porch.

15 minutes later I am changed and in bed when my phone goes off.

Seeing it's a text from Jasper makes me smile as I open it.

_Thank you for going out with me tonight. _

_Sorry about what happened._

_Sleep good,_

_J_

I frown about what it says, thinking noting that happened was his fault.

_I had a lot of fun tonight, thank you again for dinner and the tea._

_No need to be sorry about anything._

_Sleep well,_

_E_

_P.S. Next week is my turn to take you out right? :)_

I fell asleep with a smile on my face, forgetting to take my pills.

_It was a sunny day as Jasper and I drive down the main road of Forks with Chinese takeout._

"_Jazzy that is going to make my car smell like Chinese for a week." I say with a laugh as a light turns green. _

"_Oh come on babe, you know you love it." His laughter was like music._

_All of a sudden the sunny sky turned black and the rain began to pelt downwards. _

_I lost control of the car as we hit a tree. _

_Quickly I looked to my right seeing Jasper there with his eyes closed._

"_Jasper? No please Jazz?" I cry as I shake him._

"_He's gone boy," a voice in the back seat said. "I told you, you don't deserve love, I told you that you'll never receive love."_

_I turned quickly and looked towards the voice. Sitting there with a twisted smile on his face was Phil._

"_No, you're not really here." I say as my body begins to shake. _

"_Oh Edward don't you know you'll NEVER be free of me. I own you, you boy are MINE!"_

I woke up with sweet running down my body, my heart beating uncontrollably. I was back in my bed, the nightmare being nothing more than that, a nightmare.

I fell back to sleep a few hours later, thankful this time to have no dreams. 

**Tuesday evening- December 14****th**

Jasper was watching a movie, Dispicable Me. Don't ask me what it's about though, I have been lost in thought for at least an hour.

I yearn to get lost in his touch, to forget my past and just be someone who's normal.

"Edward, is everything ok?" Jasper asks pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yes Jasper everything is fine." I say as I give him a fake smile.

I couldn't tell him the truth of what was going on.

He'd leave me.

And I wasn't sure I could handle him leaving.

I needed him, he was my strength and he's my roots to reality.

"Edward, are you sure? You've been very distant lately, what's going on in that head of yours?" he pulls out of my arms so he can turn and look at me.

I could feel his eyes searching my face for any clue as to what I'm thinking. But I wasn't giving anything away; I knew he wouldn't find anything in my eyes.

How was I to tell him that not even the sleeping pills made sleep possible for me? That every night the man that haunted me in real life haunts me even now, every time I close my eyes.

How could I tell Jasper that sometime for a split second that he touches me it's not his touch I feel but another's, a monsters.

And when I am alone, all I can think about are my scars and how I received them.

_Phil never scared me without a reason. The beatings weren't my punishments. My punishments came in a form of scars. _

How much did Jasper even know about me?

How much did my family know about me?

And how long would they put up with me and my horrible past that won't leave me be?

**AN: Ok there it is. Hope you liked it. Sorry about the length I've been trying to get longer chapter out but I have one final tonight, another Tuesday and then the last one on Wednesday. Wish me luck. Leave me love they make me happy and want to update more.**

**This one got out faster than intended because of all the wonderful reviews I received. **


	32. Christmas Shoping, Check!

**AN: The good news is finals are done. The bad is I will be out of town December 31****st****- January 2****nd****, I will not have my computer and I will try to post a new chapter before I leave. **

**Thanks to all the reviewers. I can't believe I have 430 reviews. **

**Ok I own nothing… now onto the chapter.**

**~31~**

**EPOV- Tuesday December 21st**

"So Edward, I see you've been keeping a journal like I asked." Dr. Greenway says just as I sit down in her office. "Has it been helping?"

_I don't know how it's supposed to help me._ I think to myself, but I don't say this out loud. Instead I tell her how it's helping me writing down every horrific dream, memory, and thought. So I could easily relive it when I look back at the journal.

"Edward would you mind sharing a page or two of your journal with me, I would like to see what kind of progress you are making." I couldn't believe her as she asks that question. _Did she truly believe that I was going to share this with her, with anyone?_

"Um, I rather not. I don't want it to be read." I shyly say before she nods her head and moves on to asking more questions.

Our session goes by quickly and I exit her office in search of my dad who insists on driving me all the time to therapy.

"Edward, over here." I hear a voice call my name and I quickly look over.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I walk over to the coffee machine he's standing next to, currently drinking the bad coffee from it.

"What? I can't give you a ride home?" He says faking being hurt by my reaction.

"I was just expecting dad not you." I say as he swings one of his arms around me and guides me out to his car, thankful that his arm around me no longer makes me shake.

"Yeah, well I thought we could hang some. Rosie is working and Alice and mom are baking Christmas cookies that we're not allowed to touch." He says as we get into his car "And I kind of need help shopping and I know you still have gifts to buy so I thought hey, brother Christmas shopping bonding is in store. What do you say?"

"Ok let's go." I say as he starts up his car and we speed off to get to the mall to shop.

We get there around 4:30 and we immediately rummage through the stores. Emmett's sticking close to me, because of all the people shopping and making me nervous.

Shopping took us forever around and 7:30 we decide to head home.

"Why do you keep lying?" Emmett asks when we are both in the car.

"Um, I don't, what do you mean?" I say wondering where this is coming from.

"Don't play dumb, my room is right across from yours." He says slightly raising his voice. "I hear you, do you know that? I hear you talking at night when you think no one is around. You are pushing us all away. Do you know Jasper is my best friend and I think he is in love with you? And you I don't even know what you are thinking anymore. You were coming out of your shell and doing great now it just looks like an act. Gosh Edward can't you see we all care for you? That we all love you."

By the end of his little rant, there are tear flowing down my face as I refuse to look at him.

"Look Edward I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell, it's just. You need to let it out don't hold it in." He gently pulls my face up to look at him and I can see his own tears silently flowing. "I kept all my thoughts to myself and it was almost too late for me. I tried to kill myself, because I couldn't handle this. He says pointing to his scar."

"I'm scared." I say no louder than a whisper.

"Talk to me?" his tone matches my own.

"Your scar was an accident; she didn't mean to leave you with a scar. Mine, my scars, they are all from times when I was bad. The punishments weren't the beatings I received. My punishments came in the form of scars, scars that will never fade, scars that I must see every day." I took a short calming breath before continuing. "My sleeping pills don't work anymore. I still dream, I'm not seeing my past I'm seeing random stuff like driving and crashing and then all of a sudden he's there laughing at me telling me I'm his. I can't escape him. Sometimes when someone touches me from behind I think for a moment it's him. I'm afraid I'm damaged beyond repair and that once Jasper realizes that he'll leave and find someone whole, someone pure. And I'm afraid even Dad and Esme will leave me along with Alice and you, and I'll be alone. I, I don't want to be alone."

"You are not alone Edward. Dad and mom love you, so does Alice she's so happy to have another member of the family that she can tell what to wear." He pauses as he wipes a tear from my face. "And I love you, you're my brother."

I don't say anything as I pull him into a hug.

I'm not sure how long we say there hugging.

But I do know it felt nice, knowing that someone cares.

The drive home was spent in comfortable silence with the radio softly playing.

Alice was sitting on the couch when we got home. Emmett and I both had our arms full of Christmas presents.

"Edward, Emmett, I'm so glad you're home." She says making it sound like we have been gone for weeks.

"We had some left over cookies, help yourself." She says as she goes out to grab some more bags.

"Hey they're already wrapped." Alice yells from outside. Making Emmett laugh.

"Told you we had better wrap them before coming home." He says as we place the gifts under the tree.

"Yeah even though I told her what I was getting some people." I say as we each grab a sugar cookie.

"Yeah me too." He says laughing as he turns on the TV.

**AN: SO who all thought it was Jasper who was picking Edward up from his therapy session?**

**Yes this is shorter that my other ones but it was very hard to write. If I get at least 11 reviews by tomorrow night I may post the next one (tomorrow night) that will have a flash back of the date Edward took Jasper on. And will possibly also have Christmas on it :) If not then I will post the next chapter probably next Thursday night. **


	33. His First Christmas

**AN: Thank you everyone who reviewed. I hope you enjoy this one :)**

**I own nothing.**

**~32~**

**JPOV- Tuesday December 21****st**

Work was crazy as it has been for the past few weeks. Christmas was nearly upon us and I couldn't wait to give Edward his present.

_To say I was exited would be an understatement. It was 6:30 and I was on my way to Edwards to start our second date. He refused every attempt I made for him to tell me what he had planed. _

"_Jasper!" He yells as I pull into the driveway and he runs out to greet me._

"_Edward, so what are we doing?" I ask as I get out of my car and am pulled into a hug from him._

"_Nope, I'm not telling you." He says leading me way from my car and to the garage where his was._

"_Oh come on babe, please?" I say as we pull out of the garage and head to a destination unknown to me._

"_Not going to work Jazzy." He says laughing. His laugh was musical, a true Edward Cullen laugh and one that I hadn't heard in a while. I knew there was something that has been bothering him. Lately he has been too distant and I was grateful that he seemed ok today._

_Soon my questions are answered as we pulled into the new restaurant Japanese Kitchen; it was a Teppan Yaki place. _

"_Jasper, you mentioned you wanted to try this place, so I thought that we could try it tonight." Edward says slightly rambling as he parks the car and we get out._

"_Sounds wonderful Edward, thanks." I say as I grab his hand and we walk inside. _

"_Hello, how may I help you?" the host says as we walk up to him._

"_Yes, hello we have reservations for two in Teppan Yaki dinning for Edward at 7:00." Edward says as his hold on my hand tightens at the man's attention._

"_Ok please follow me I'll show the two of you to your table." He says grabbing two menus and leading us to a table._

_There were already a few people seated as we also sat down. _

_Dinner was great, though it was interesting being at a table with strangers. _

"_Thanks for dinner babe. It was perfect, I enjoyed our date." I say as we head back down the road we had come. _

"_Welcome, but its not done yet." He says as we pull down another street and head towards another part of town. "I thought we could see Tron." _

"_That's supposed to be like the movie of the year." I say as we buy our tickets and head to the concession stand._

_Later that night as Edward parks his car in the garage. _

"_Thanks babe for the date, I had a lot of fun." I say as we kiss and I turn to go home, since I had work in the morning._

"_Wait." He says as he grabs my hand. "I um, I wanted to um say…I um, had a fun night drive safe Jasper." And with that he lets go of my hand and turns to go into the house._

"_Goodnight Edward." I say to his retreating form as I hop into my car and drive away._

Looking back on that night I couldn't help the feeling that he was going to tell me he was going to tell me that he loved me. I knew I was ready to tell him, but I didn't want to say anything before he was ready.

"Jasper can you look in back and see if we have any of the books hush, hush left?" My boss asks pulling me out of my memory.

"Sure thing boss." I yell as I head into the back.

Today was diffidently going to be a long day I think as I grab the mentioned book and take it to the waiting customer.

**EPOV- Christmas Day**

It was 7:00 in the morning; Alice's constant banging on my door woke me up at 6:30. She was in such a hurry for us all to wake up and open gifts.

Walking down stairs I could smell the wonderful warm smell of cinnamon rolls. Smiling I made my way into the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas Edward." Dad says as I walk in.

"Merry Christmas, Dad." I say giving him a hug as I in turn give Emmett and Alice a hug and Christmas wishes.

"Merry Christmas dear." Esme says as she places the fresh rolls on the table as Emmett goes to answer the door that Rose and Jasper had just knocked on.

"Merry Christmas," I say pulling her into a hug. "Mom." I add my lips close to her ear.

"Thank you." She whispers as we pull apart and Rose drags me into a hug saying merry Christmas.

"Merry Christmas, babe." Jasper says when I am released from Roses hold.

We all sit down and eat our breakfast as Alice impatiently waits for us to finish and open gifts.

"OK you are all done done, let's go!" Alice yells leading us into the living room where all of our gifts are sitting under the tree. "Edward, why don't you hand out yours first."

And so it began my first actual Christmas.

"First I would like to give you a gift from all of us." I say. "We love you mom and dad and we want to thank you for everything." Esme had tears in her eyes as I included myself into loving them and I called her mom again.

"Oh thank you so much." They say as they see a 7 day cruse to Alaska, January 14th to the 21st.

"Alice you can open yours next." I say as I hand her a small gift box.

"Oh thank you so much I love it!" she says as she opens it and pulls out a heart bracelet. That also was engraved with _Beloved Sister_.

"Emmett I think this is more of a gift for us than for you, but enjoy." I say handing him his wrapped up camcorder that I planed to use to record all his embarrassing moments.

"Oh thanks man." He says as he turns it on and starts to use it.

"Jasper, Merry Christmas." I say handing him his present.

Slowly he starts to unwrap the Mackbook that I had gotten him after hearing that his computer was on its last limb.

"Thanks Edward." He says as he hugs me. "I love it." He whispers before he turns to Rose.

"Rose this is from the both of us." He hands her a small box that she quickly opens.

"What is it?" Esme asks as Rose says thank you.

"It's a Dinner cruse for two on January 7th." Rose replies as Jasper hands out Alice's and them Emmett's gift.

Lastly he hand me mine.

"Thank you so much Jazzy." I say as in unwrap the new Kindle reader.

"Ok my turn." Rose says as she grabs a few gifts from under the tree.

"Jazzy this isn't new, but I think you'll love it all the same." Jasper quickly unwraps the gift she hands him.

"Grandfathers pocket watch." He says as he holds it up for all of us to see. "It's from our mother's side of the family, there's an inscription inside that reads _"It's not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us a family."_ It's been broken for years. Thank you so much rose."

She just smiles as she hands Alice her gift, quickly followed by mine.

"Emmy Bear." She says handing him her last gift.

He thanks her as he pulls out a wrist watch that reads _Love with all my heart_ on the back on the face.

"My turn." Alice says grabbing her gifts and handing them out.

I was speechless as I pulled out a black leather jacket from her.

"Alice its perfect I love it." Rose says as she stands and holds the dress from Alice up to her body so Em with his video camera and catch it.

And then it was Mom and Dads turn.

Quickly we all opened our gifts at the same time.

I was grateful to receive a recorder for my piano music.

"Guess I'm last." Emmett says handing out the last of the gifts.

I noticed mine, Alice's, and Jasper's seemed to all be gag gifts.

That's when it happened he walked over to Rose and fell to one knee.

Alice excitedly pulled out his video recorder.

"Rosie, I love you with everything that I am. You are as smart as you are beautiful and two times as kind. Will you do me the honor of marrying me and becoming Mrs. Rosalie Emmett Cullen?" Rose had tears of joy in her eyes after Emmett finished with his speech.

"Yes." She squeaks out as she jumps into his arms and kisses him.

"Then may I please place this on your finger?" He asks opening the small box he held in his hand and revealing the beautiful diamond ring inside.

"Oh Em its beautiful." She says as it's placed on her finger. "You all knew?" she says looking at our unsurprised faces.

"Yes we all knew. Congratulations Rose, I'm happy for you." Jasper says as he hugs her.

I find myself smiling as we all hug the bride to be and then hug and thank each other.

Soon we all separate to do our own thing until lunch was ready, Jasper and I settling for setting in the piano room and watching the snow fall outside.

"Jasper." I say turning in his arms so that I could see him. "I, um… I'm not sure how to say this and I know I have so many problems and I've been pushing you away and I…"

"Edward, you're rambling again." He says interrupting me.

"What I'm trying to say is. I love you Jasper." I am finally able to say as a smile forms on his face.

"I love you too Edward." He repeats and we seal with a kiss.

Our quiet alone moment is soon interrupted and the family enters the room, Rose holding Jaspers guitar.

"Let's sing some Christmas tune." She says holding the guitar towards Jasper, as I am motioned to go and sit at the piano.

That night I lay in bed with a smile on my face as I remember my first wonderful family Christmas.

**AN: Hope you enjoyed it; here is the Christmas list of who got what and for who…**

Christmas gifts, if you were wondering.  
All gifts found at gifts (dot) com  
some I just made up

**From ALL-**  
TO Esme & Carlisle- 7 day couples cruse on Carnival cruse line to Alaska January 14th to 21st

**From Edward- 1st**  
Jasper- **Mackbook Pro SD 15"**  
Em- **Flip UltraHD Camcorder**  
Alice- Personalized Flutter Heart Bracelet Gift

**From Jasper- 2nd**  
Edward- Kindle Wireless Reading Device- Latest Generation  
Rose- Dinner cruse for 2 January 7th (also from Edward)  
Alice-Fantastically Fun Doodle Frame  
Em-Football Universal Remote

**From Rose- 3rd**  
Jasper- Celtic Pocket Watch (Maternal Grandfathers. Rose fixed it up for him- Quote inside reads "It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us a family."  
Em-TAG Heuer 'Grand Carrera' Stainless Steel Watch (Love with all my heart on back of face)  
Alice- Ecote Beaded Clutch  
Edward- Brookstone Leather Kindle Case

**From Alice- 4th**  
Edward- nice leather jacket- black  
Jasper- BookBook Hardback Leather Case for 15" Macbook Pro SD - Black  
Rose- Very Sexy Ruched Convertible Dress (Blue)  
Em- Our Name Is Mud Whatever Clock (numbers not it its spot)

**Carlisle and Esme- 5th**  
Edward- Piano recorder, to record personal pieces.  
Jasper- IPod touch  
Em-XM Snap! Satellite Radio  
Rose-Shoes and a clutch that match the dress from Alice & Spa Basket Set  
Alice- Summer design school and a new sewing machine

**From Emmett-LAST ****  
**Edward- i360 Music Infused Hat Beanie  
Jasper-Time Squared Alarm Clock  
Rose- RING- Lover's Knot Personalized Diamond Ring: Romantic Jewelry Gift *LAST  
Alice-Rorshock Inkblot Party Game

**Thanks for reading, please review if you liked it :)**


	34. Kissing

**AN: Thank you to those who reviewed, glad some of you liked the gifts. Just wanted to state, yes they received and gave expensive gifts. But Jasper and Rose both had to save for months in order to afford the gifts they bought for everyone. I haven't mentioned it but Rose also has a part time job, she is a waitress at a small diner in town. For the Cullen's money come easy. **

**Even though last chapter has been the longest so far I figured I would post this anyways, and warning this is more of a filler than anything, before "the other shoe drops" per say, I haven't exactly decided what will happen next and if you have something you want to happen please message me. **

**I will possibly be posting two new twilight stories hopefully today. Please if you are interested check them out, maybe tell me which one you would rather me update after I finish this story.**

**As always I own nothing… Enjoy. **

**~33~**

**EPOV-**

I wake up with a smile on my face as I remember what a wonderful Christmas we all shared. It was truly the best Christmas ever, I thought as I exited my room after getting dressed.

As I made my way towards the kitchen I could hear voices coming from the other side of the door.

"Oh, what about this?" I heard Rose say as I enter the kitchen.

"That's perfect dear." Esme says before turning to me. "Good morning Edward, there's fresh baked muffins on the counter."

"Thanks mom, Good morning Ali, Rose, what are you three doing?" I say as I help myself to a delicious blueberry muffin.

"Hey Edward, we're planning the wedding." Rose says answering my question. "Oh Jasper asked me to see if you could pick him up after work. I have to work this afternoon and I have the car now. Would you be ok picking him up?"

"Sure, I can do that Rose, what time?" I say as I sit at the table with my second muffin and some milk.

"He is scheduled to get off at 4:30, Thank you so much Edward. Oh, I should get going. Bye I'll see you all tonight for dinner at 6." Rose says as she rushes out the door.

"So dear what are your plans today?" Esme asks as she starts to clean off the table from the wedding stuff that was lying around.

"I was hoping to give the new equipment a tryout before picking up Jazz and hanging out until dinner I guess." I answer Esme as I place my plate and cup into the dishwasher.

Before I allowed myself the solitude of relaxing while playing the piano I decided on taking a shower so that I would be ready when it was time to pick up Jasper.

The equipment was easy enough to set up and soon I found myself playing a tune I had composed months ago that I have named Esme's Melody since she loved it so much.

The song was soft and beautiful, just like she is.

Esme is the perfect mother; she's kind but doesn't let you get away with everything. Like last week when Emmett had it in his head to slide through the mud and get home all muddy. Esme was standing at the door as he walked up and she sternly told him to get the mud off before setting foot into her house.

The memory of that drew a tear from my eye. _My own mother would have dragged my into the house and beat me black and blue if I had done anything like that. _This thought saddens me more as I wonder what other childhood things I had missed out on.

Without realizing it, the song I was playing changed, as if my fingers were moving on their own accord. (Billy Joel's- Goodnight my Angle, piano part only) The song was soft and slightly sad, almost as if it was calling out for its other half.

All too soon I had to stop playing and pack my equipment away, so that it wouldn't get ruined.

The time was 4:00 by the time I left the house and headed to the book store that Jasper worked at.

"Hey Edward, I'll be just a minute I just have to finish up a bit." Jasper yells as I step into the store. He was gone before I could reply so I silently took a seat and looked through one of the books that sat there.

Twilight, I just didn't understand all the hype about it. Before I could even get three pages in Jasper comes back.

"Ready to go?" he asks as he walks over to me.

"Yes love I'm ready." I say as I allow him to pull me out of the store and to my awaiting car.

We don't even make it into the car before his lips are crashing onto mine and when we pull apart we are both slightly breathless.

"Let's get out of here." He says giving me another kiss, though this time it's short.

The drive to his house is mostly silent as he tells me where to go.

"Um come in, ignore the mess." Jazz says as we make our way inside. It's a small two bedroom home I notice as we make it to his room that he obviously shared with Rose.

"I'm going to change in the bathroom, you can wait here." His voice sounded strange, almost as if he was nervous or maybe ashamed. I couldn't tell which.

I sat on the only thing in the room there was to sit on, his bed. Then I waited to Jasper to return.

**JPOV- **

I could feel my heart beat quicken as I changed clothes.

Edward and I were alone in my house.

When I emerged from the bathroom the sight of Edward on my bed was breathtaking.

I don't know what I was thinking as I stalked towards him slowly as I took all of him in.

"Love you look so perfect sitting there." I say as he pulls me closer to him, forcing me to straddle his legs as we fall back onto the bed, him underneath me.

I don't have time to think as he kisses me and my body takes control.

The kiss quickly deepens and I can feel his hard member grounding into mine as I push my hips down onto his and moans of pleasure escapes us both.

I'm unsure how long we stayed there, but all too soon I find myself pushed onto the floor and I hear the bathroom door slam.

It only takes me a moment to understand what had happened, something we did scared Edward and sitting on my bedroom floor I could hear him crying.

As fast as I could I jumped off of the floor and ran to the bathroom door.

"Edward?" I practically cry. "Edward, I'm sorry please, are you ok?" I was slowly starting to panic when I received no answer.

Five more minutes of begging for him to let me in, the bathroom door opens revealing Edward with red eyes and tear streaks.

"Edward?" I question resisting the urge to pull him into a hug.

"I'm sorry Jasper, I didn't mean to. But um…" Sobs began to rack his body again as I took the chance and pulled him to me.

"It's ok Edward, nothing is your fault. I knew better than that." I say as I gently rub his back as his sobs stop.

**AN: I hope you liked it.**

**I set up a poll on my profile I would like for everyone to vote on it please, I will also be post the first chapter of two new stories, please read before voting. Thank you for reading this, please review :)**


	35. Sorry, Me too

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews. Merry Christmas, this is a short chapter, but it is Christmas. **

**~34~**

**EPOV-**

He was coming closer; stalking me like a predator would stock his prey. Part of me welcomed it; part of me loved the way my body shivered with lust.

"Love you look so perfect sitting there." I hear him say, just before I pull him towards me and we fall back onto the bed.

My heart rate quickens as I noticed that he is on top of me. Trying to chase my demons away I deepen the kiss just as I feel his cock gently pushing against my own and just like that a moan of pure pleasure escapes us both as I start to come undone.

I don't know what happened.

One moment it was Jasper above me, the next it was Phil, smiling down at me and I had to get away.

It wasn't till I was in the bathroom that I realized what I had done, I had pushed him away from me, I had pushed Jasper the man I love away from me.

That's when I broke down, falling to the floor and hugging my knees I couldn't stop the tears as I thought about the only thing that was going to happen now. Jasper would notice just how screwed up I am.

"Edward?" I hear Jasper cry out to me. "Edward, I'm sorry please, are you ok?" I could hear him on the other side of the door waiting for me to open it.

I don't know how long I stayed in the bathroom before rising from my spot on the floor and opening the door for him.

"Edward?" He asks not even wanting to come any closer to me because of how ruined I am and I couldn't help it as I started to cry.

"I'm sorry Jasper, I didn't mean to. But um…" I'm unable to go on and sobs overtake my body, how was I to tell him I didn't want to loose him?

That's when I felt his arms around me. "It's ok Edward, nothing is your fault. I knew better than that." I couldn't believe his words as he held me as I cried.

"Don't leave me." I practically cry out when Jasper lets go of me.

"I won't, I'm not…" He says encircling me in his arms again.

My heart beat quickens as he kisses my neck.

"We should probably get going, don't you think? The family will be waiting for us."

I didn't speak still not trusting my voice as I nodded and allowed Jasper to lead me to the bathroom.

My eyes were red from crying I noticed as I quickly washed my face with cool water as Jasper goes and changes out of his tear stained shirt.

Ten minutes pass before we are heading out the door.

"Jazz?" I say as he locks up and we head towards my car. "I'm sorry for my freak out, I love you. It wasn't anything you did, I hope you can just um, be patient with me." I gently push him against the car door, as I let my lips hover close to him. "I want this, whatever this is to work." I don't wait for a reply as I quickly kiss him before moving to the other side of the car in order to warm it up.

"Me too." Is all he says as we head off to my house and to our waiting family.

It was 6:30 by the time I parked my car in the garage.

I could smell the delicious smell of dinner as we walked into the house.

Our family was waiting for us at the table and I could feel my face turn red as all their eyes landed on us. My voice caught is my throat as I thought about what to say.

"We ran into a little snag, but everything is ok. Sorry for keeping everyone, Esme dinner smells great." Jasper says thankfully saving me. The family accepted his excuse without further questions, though Carlisle and Esme watched me throughout dinner.

"Edward, Jasper," Carlisle says as we all finish. "Will you two please come into my office?" I could feel my hand slightly shake as I nod my head. Jaspers calm reassurance is all I need before I rise from the table and follow Carlisle into his office.

"Please sit," He says as he also takes a seat. "Please Edward will you tell me what happened? We've all been worried about you these past weeks."

I look towards Jasper needing the reassurance that he wouldn't leave me.

"We um, well we were kissing and I…" I paused for a moment, slightly embarrassed about what my dad was asking about.

"Please son, go on. You won't get in trouble."

"We were making out and I was lying on Jaspers bed, I had pulled him onto me. I don't really know what happened, one moment I looked up and it was Jazz then the next it was Phil and I panicked I had to get away. Once I made it into the bathroom I realized what I had done. I just panicked that's all." I could feel silent tears falling down my cheeks.

"Edward, son, none of this is your fault. You have been through something horrible. It will just take time for these things not to happen. I just hope that you would come to me about these things or anyone else in the family. We all love you, let us be there for you, let us help you." Carlisle had moved closer as he talked and it wasn't until he wiped a tear from my cheek that I realized how close he had moved. He was kneeling in front of me one hand covering mine. "I love you son that will never change."

Even with all my smarts I can't find my voice to speak.

"I know, sorry." I whisper as I pull him into a hug. "I love you too dad."

**AN: Yep sorry it was so short. Merry Christmas everyone I hoped this chapter was ok, it wasn't wanting to get written. Please review. :)**


	36. Tell Me What You Like

**AN: OK this chapter didn't really want to come out. I own nothing… This may be the last update of the year. I leave town late Thursday and won't be back till Sunday. I won't have my computer with me, though my cell has net access. I hope you like it all the same. **

**Well Enjoy. **

**~35~**

**EPOV-**

Tuesday when I attended my therapy sessions I explained what had happened that weekend. I don't know what made her suggest it but by the time I was leaving for the day I had an appointment Wednesday night to attend group counseling. She said it would be good for me, that I would learn to talk about what had happened and by talking about it I should start to heal. She also thought it would help me to know I wasn't alone, that others have suffered much like me.

Wednesday came and I couldn't help the way my hand was shaking as I entered the building. I had a twenty minute drive to attempt to calm down; apparently I was just not going to be calm. The building was nice and I could see a few people standing around talking quietly together.

"Hey, never seen you before." A guy said as he and another male approached me. I could feel myself starting to freak out as I attempted to contain my fears. "I'm Jack, this here is Peter. Who are you?"

He didn't hold his hand out for me to shake like most people would do and I was grateful for that as I answered. "Edward, it's nice to meet you." There were five people in the room when the man that I assumed to be the doctor walked in.

"Good evening young people, please everyone have a seat in the circle. Edward, I'm glad you were able to join us, please have a seat next to me and I will introduce you to the group."

I quickly learned that the man was called Doctor or Doc by everyone. The other people in the group were Lisa, Kelly, and Matthew. These people we indeed like me. Lisa talked about her fathers constant drinking and how it has affected her for 15 years of her life especially when he would join her at night in her bed. Peter's father has been raping his since he was five. Kelly and Mathew are twins who were living with parents who were druggies and have in the past been rented them out in order to get their drugs. Jack didn't talk much though I knew in some way he had been sexually abused. We are all safe now and I could tell that some of them where doing better than others, some were living with other members of their families, some lived in group homes and one has been adopted. None of them asked me what I had been though, all understanding that I would talk in time. Our group time passed quickly and I found before leaving that I wanted to come back.

"Well Edward I bet that was different than anything you've ever been to." Jack said as the meeting dispersed. "The group normally goes to this small diner one the corner down the street after our meeting. You are welcome to come with us if you want."

I was slightly tempted to take him up on his offer.

"I would like to but I have plans with my boyfriend tonight." I say before it even registers what I am saying.

"Ok, maybe next time then." His smile didn't falter. "He's welcome to come with you another time, assuming that you come back. My first time was about a month ago, I almost didn't come back. But it's been helpful, even when I don't talk about stuff, hearing others talk reminded me that I am not alone. Well I hope to see you next week, bye Edward." With that he runs off to join the others at the diner and I go to my car to start the drive back home, back to Jasper.

I ran right into Jaspers arms when I walked into the house.

"Baby, why are you crying?" I hadn't even realized that I had been crying until he asked about it. Taking one of my hands from his body I wiped my face.

"Group was harder than I would have thought." I say as I notice the rest of the family looking at me. Jasper must have noticed that I didn't want to talk to everyone because he thoughtfully grabs my hand and a box of pizza and leads me to the entertainment room.

"Are you going to go back next week?" He asks as I start to dig into the pizza.

"I think I might, hearing them talk was difficult. But they were all nice to me and I think going may help." I was unsure about how Jasper would take me attending these meetings.

"Edward, I'm glad you're going to go back if it will help you. But you have to go back for yourself. We all love you Edward." I was quickly learning that Jasper always knew what to say. The pizza was soon consumed and I found myself curled into Jaspers side as we watched some random movie.

I wasn't paying much attention to the movie as the hand Jasper had resting on my hip slowly moved downward, I felt my body immediately reacting the his touch. I tried but failed at keeping the moan that left me quiet as his hand touched my thigh. My reaction must have startled him because his hand was suddenly removed from my thigh. "Sorry." I hear him whisper before he starts to move his body away from mine.

I bite my lip as I think of how to tell him that I liked it.

Deciding not to over think it I grab his hand and pull him back towards me before settling into his side and placing his hand just where it had been. "Don't be sorry for wanting to touch me love." I kiss him to stop him from saying anything. "I want to touch you Jazz." I say in-between kisses as I move my lips to his neck. I hear him gasp out as yes as I lightly suck on a sensitive part of his neck. That's all the permission I needed to move my hands from the sofa to his body, unsure of what I was doing I just let my hands move slowly first up his arms feeling the muscle he had there and then down his torso all the while we continued to kiss.

"Mmm, I like that." Jasper says as his head falls back exposing his neck to me as I smile.

"Tell me what you like Jazz." I say as I bring my lips back to his neck.

"I like the feel of your lips on my skin love; I like the feel of your touch on my body." Is all he says before he pulls my lips back to his. "I love you Edward." I feel myself growing hard as we continue to kiss.

And just like always my brother has "perfect" timing as my phone rings.

"Hello?" I answer annoyed.

"Sorry brother but I think you and Jazz should come down now. Mom keeps saying how late it is and I think in ten minutes she's going to come up there." That's all Emmett says before hanging up on me.

"That was Em, guess mom is coming up in ten minutes." We kiss for a few more minutes before we clean ourselves up and head downstairs.

"You can touch me anytime you want." Jasper tells me as we walk hand in hand down the stairs.

I kiss him as we reach the front door. Rose was already in the car waiting for Jasper.

"You can touch me anytime you want." I say into his ear as I hug him and kiss him goodbye.

That night I lay in bed with a big smile on my face as I think about everything that had been happening.

**AN: Please review and let me know what you thought. Until next time, Happy New Year. **


	37. Friends?

**AN: I own nothing… So I am thinking this story may have about 4-5 more chapters. Thank you to all the reviewers. 12 reviews, that makes me so happy, please keep it up. I hope you all enjoy this one. Sorry for the wait.**

**~36~**

**JPOV-**

Times Square had just erupted into calibration as we watch the New Year ring with the dropping of the ball on TV. Emmett wasted no time grabbing Rose and dipping her, giving her a passionate kiss. Alice, Edward and I sling our glasses as we drink to the New Year.

Finishing off my apple cider I turn to Edward, noticing that Alice had disappeared somewhere.

"Happy New Year love." I whisper into his ear as I give him a gentle kiss.

Suddenly his hands are wrapped around me, pulling me closer towards him and into his embrace.

"Happy New Year love." He says as he moves his lips from mine and to my neck.

**EPOV-**

My therapist was glad when I reveled that I would attempt to continue to do the group meetings every Wednesday evening. Things were all over great. Jasper spent every evening he wasn't working at my house. Our relationship was growing, though I was unsure what to expect from it, I had no true idea how a true relationship was supposed to be like. My family was great, always asking me if I was doing ok and stuff. But I could feel something missing; I yearned for someone who didn't want me to talk about my past, but someone who knew what I've been through, without me having to talk about it.

That's what brought me back to this small circle of people.

"Edward, glad to see you came back." Jack says as he takes a seat next to me. "I know coming to something like this isn't easy, but it does help." I gave him a timid smile, as I attempt to stay calm. I still hated being around strangers.

"That's why I'm here." I say quietly as Doc comes into the room.

The night is much like the last. Lisa talked some, along with Peter. The twins were oddly quiet and Jack didn't say much, just like last time. The meeting seemed to fly by and I couldn't help how nervous I was as it came to an end.

"See you next week." I heard the Doc effectively ending the meeting.

"Hey Edward you ok, you're shaking." Jack asks as we all stand.

"Um, yeah." I say putting my chair away. "Jack, are you guys still meeting at the diner tonight?" I ask before I chicken out.

"Yep every week. Are you going to join us?" Peter asks over hearing my question. I don't get time to answer as Kelly and Lisa stop talking and turn to me.

"Yes, Edward please join us." Lisa says as she grabs her coat.

"You don't have to talk about anything, sometimes it's just nice to be with other people who understand." Kelly says as she hooks her arm through Jacks.

"Sure I'll join. But um, I'm not sure how to get there." As soon as I said it everyone volunteered to show me how to get there. Kelly ended up riding in the car with me as we followed the others.

"So Kelly, you and Jack are um…" I'm at a loss for words as I attempt to have small talk with the stranger sitting next to me. Her bell like laugh catches me off guard.

"No, he's a friend, but nothing more. He doesn't swing that way." He answer slightly surprises me but suddenly the reaction he had to me being gay. We have no time to talk any more as Kelly shows me where to park and we all enter the small café. Obviously the wait staff recognized them as we are seated right away in "the usual booth" and told our server would be with us shortly. The café was a small one, but I liked it. The booth we occupied was round with red and white stripes, making it almost look like an old 50's diner.

As we talked as we waited for the waitress.

That's when it happened

"I'm as straight as," Mathew was saying when Jack commented on his queer eye. "I'm as straight as a, as a…" He sounded like he was searching for the right analogy. "I'm as straight as a banana!"

I didn't think as I opened my mouth and replied with, "A banana's not straight." His face grew red as I said that and I became very embarrassed as I thought about how to apologize.

"Oh…" He finally says making the table burst out in laughter.

"Man, Edward that was a great one." Peter said as he laughed. Mathew's face grew even redder with embarrassment at Peter's words.

"Oh honey, I know you're straight." Lisa said as she pulled herself closer to him just as the waitress shows up.

"Hey Tanya, were take our usual. Edward, do you know what you want?" Kelly says making the waitress look at me.

"Hi, I'm Tanya. What can I get you?" She said her voice sounding weird, like she was trying to be sexy or something.

"I would like a coke and the beef sandwich, please." I say as I hand her back my menu.

"Ok I'll get that right up for you sugar." She says as she walks away, looking like an idiot as she sways her hips.

"Sorry man, should have warn you about Tanya. Don't sweat it she hits on everyone." Peter laughs as he grabs Jacks hand. As we wait for our food I find out that Peter and Jacks a couple. Mathew and Lisa are also dating.

"Looks like were the only single ones," Kelly says sounding like she's joking as she continues. "Too bad you're gay."

"Well actually, I have a boyfriend." When I say this Lisa practically jumps out of Mathews arms as Kelly and her start demanding to know more about him. I decide to start with the easy questions they ask.

"His name is Jasper; he'll be 18 in a few months. He's my brother's best friend, but I just met him. No my brother doesn't care that we are dating. Emmett is engaged to Jaspers twin sister." That's as far as I get before our food is delivered.

"I took the liberty to write down my number for you babe. Call me." Tanya says as she hands me a piece of paper.

"Thanks but Tanya I don't need it." I say as I attempt to give the paper back. "I have a boyfriend already." I say hoping I've said the magic words to make her leave.

"Oh that's ok Eddie; I'll wait for you to get tired of him." She leaves me no time to reply as she walks off.

"Don't worry about it; she'll leave you alone, sooner or later." Jack says as we all start to dig into our food.

The food tasted great and our conversation flowed easily.

"Edward, earlier you said your brother's name is Emmett?" Peter asks as we order desert.

"Yes Emmett Cullen." I say wondering why Peter was asking.

"Cullen?" Jack asks as he joins our conversation.

"Um, yeah." I say unsure what to say to that.

"We know him. Jack and I attend Forks High School. We're both juniors." Peter says after he notices how confused I was. "So, your boyfriend is Jasper Hale right?" When I nodded he turned to Jack. "Ha, told you. Jacky you so owe me." This causes us all to laugh.

It was late by the time I arrive home. The second I enter the house Esme and Carlisle are begging to know what happened and how everything went. We stayed up two more hours talking, before I am finally able to go to my room.

_Time __~,1-5-11 _

_Times are changing,_

_Not alone anymore._

_I have some people, who understand the past, _

_New friends and family_

_As I work towards a goal._

_Needing to move forward in this great big world._

Feeling tired I put my journal away and shut off the light.

**AN: Ok this chapter I'm not so sure about. Please tell me what you think. Not as long as I first wanted but, there it is. **


	38. Bliss

**AN: I own nothing… A BIG THANK YOU to the 19 reviewers for the last chapter, this is being posted for you. :) **

**~37~**

**JPOV-**

I really hated high school. I mean really can't the populars find something else to do that to pick on me? But no they had to pick on Poor little Jasper, who has old clothes, shares an old beat up car with his sister and from what they see "Can't even get a girl."

I was sitting outside in the cold as I waited for lunch to end so that I could go back to class.

"Hey Jasper." A boy I knew to be Peter called out as him and Jack came up to me.

"We had an idea that we wanted to run by you." Jack says as they sit down. I knew they two guys were gay; they had come out together just last year. "So Edward was mentioning you last night and so today Peter got an idea to invite you and Edward out this weekend."

I froze, how did he know Edward? I wondered and they must have seen my confusion as Peter began to talk.

"We're in the group that Edward Cullen attended last night. At dinner afterwards he mentioned you were his boyfriend..." I didn't hear what he said after that as I stared at him. Edward had told people about me. This can't be happening; no one knows that I'm gay. My own father doesn't know yet. "And then we were like…." Peter stops talking as he realizes that I wasn't listening. "You didn't know he told us. Did you?" He asks.

"No, no one's supposed to know." I say just as the bell rings. "Sorry I have to go." I yell as I jump up and all but run to class.

Once I am seated I quickly pull out my cell and text Edward.

**Jack- **

It was Peter's idea to approach Jasper and set up some kind of double date. Now as Jasper runs off to class I feel bad. He wasn't out and seemed terrified of being found out.

Neither of us had Edwards number and had no way of contacting him. We would just have to wait till next week's meeting and pray that Edward would show.

"Pete I hope we didn't just screw everything up." I say as we split ways to class.

**EPOV-**

I woke up around 9:00 and hopped online. My spring classes were scheduled to start soon and I wanted to make sure I had everything I needed. I badly wanted to text Jasper, since I forgot to last night and tell him all about the fun time I had the night before.

Since I knew Jasper was at school I sat around all day waiting to hear from him and I finally did around 1:00 I get a text and my face lights up as I put my book down and open the text.

_Edward, I think we need to talk- Jasper_

Something's wrong. I thought as I stared at the text. Normally he would have at least told me that he loved me or asked how I was doing.

_I'll be done with therapy at 5:00. We can hang out after that, I don't think anyone will be home tonight. - love Edward._

His reply doesn't take long.

_Ok I'll see you at 5:30. –Jasper_

A silent tear rolled down my face as I read his last reply and I couldn't help the shaking in my body as I wondered what I had done wrong.

I stumble through the day trying to keep busy as I clean my room, attempting to not over think what was wrong with Jasper. Soon my therapy session hits and I tell Esme and Carlisle bye, since they are leaving for their 7 day cruise. Emmett had plans to go to some party with Rose and Alice would be spending the night at a friend's house. I was looking forward to uninterrupted time with Jasper. I just hoped that tonight went well and that he wasn't about to break up with me.

"Edward, how are things going at home?" My therapist asks me as I sit down.

"I attended that group thing again." I tell her before I am prompted to tell her more about it.

Our session goes quickly and soon I am headed home and waiting to see Jasper. He had texted me and told me that he was going to pick up takeout for us on his way over, so while I waited I got the table ready and grabbed two sodas. Right on time the doorbell rings and I run to answer it.

"Jasper." I say as I hug him. He looked amazing; something about him was just almost glowing.

"Hey Edward, I brought us Chinese." He says sounding like something was on his mind.

We sit and eat in silence for fifteen minutes before I break.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" I finally ask.

For a moment I don't know if he heard me.

For a moment I doubt if he would answer.

Finally he does.

"You told people about me." I'm shocked at his tone and wonder why it was a bad thing. Then it hits me.

"Jasper I'm sorry I forgot that no one knows and I was just happy to find people that understand me and it just came out." I was starting to shake as I worried about his response.

"I know Edward; part of me feels proud that you would tell them that I am your boyfriend. But another part of me is frightened; my father doesn't yet know my preference for men. I'm scared to know what he'll say once he finds out." I became rigid as Jasper talked. Would his dad, hurt him? I wondered.

"No Edward nothing like that, I'm worried he'll be mad and kick me out of the house." His hand gently lifts my face to look at him. "My father has never hit Rose or myself, just like I would never hit you Edward. I'm sorry I got angry." His lips capture mine and I just bask in the feel of him.

"C'mon babe let's put the leftovers away and clean up the dishes." Jasper says stopping the kiss from deepening too much.

Once the dishes are done and everything's put away I pull jasper into a kiss.

"Love, why do you always hide yourself?" He whispers, eyeing the long-sleeved sweater I wore.

"My scars are horrid." I whisper out so quiet I barley hear it.

"Edward you are beautiful." Those are the only words I need to hear before I step away from him and slowly start to remove my sweater, though I leave the white undershirt on. I can't make myself look at him as one of his hands gently reaches out to trace the burn marks on one of my wrists; it takes all my concentration to not pull back as he examines my now bare arms.

"Edward, you are beautiful and perfect." He says as he wipes away tears I didn't know were falling. "I love you." He says reassuring me even more.

"I love you too Jazzy." I reply.

I don't think as I pull him up the stairs and to my room.

"Edward, I love you so much." He says, just before I recapture his lips in mine, as we enter my room. He goes to deepen the kiss and I let him only pulling away when I need air.

"Jazz I want to feel more of you." I say as I tug at his shirt. He pulls away slightly so that he can dispose of his shirt before he's back closer to me, his erection pressing up against mine as I walk us backwards towards my bed.

"Edward?" He says asking a silent question that I just nod at as I let him pull my shirt off over my head, I refuse to look him in the eye as he sees just how bad my body is scared. Before I loose my nerve I unbuckle his pants and let them fall to the ground, gasping when I noticed his beautiful happy trail and his growing erection that's tenting his boxers.

"So beautiful." I hear him whisper as he kisses my bare chest. "I want to feel more of you love." I hear him say and I comply as I let my own pants fall to the ground.

We both climbed up onto the bed, Jazz scooting back towards the pillows and laying back, looking up at me tracing up my sides and up and down my chest in a manner that felt almost like fire, but that left a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Still not meeting his eyes I straddle his hips, feeling his hardness underneath me and gasping at the sensation, he leans up and caches the back of my neck and pulled me into another kiss that left my head spinning with want.

"Edward, I don't want to push you too far, to fast" he says as he pulls away slightly. All I could think about was the way he felt pressed up against me and I found myself thrusting against him in some mindless attempt to increase the wonderful sensations that were building throughout my body. I heard him moan as he tangled his hands in my hair and kissed me frantically on my jaw and down my neck. I felt his hips rocking against me as he groaned, "Oh God, Edward! I'm going to cum if you keep on!" I met his eyes then, taking in the dark tint that had clouded them, I couldn't have stopped even if I wanted too. I was in the arms of a man who loved me, and who I loved back. A man who had seen me at my worst, and who had seen my scars and the damage and who didn't care, he loved me and it was with this realization that all the sensation hit me and I found his lips, pulling him into a kiss that I put all that feeling and love into, and I felt him gasp as his body spasmed as his orgasm, and realizing that I did that to him, pulled me along with him experiencing something I have never felt before.

He holds me as we both attempt to calm down and after a few minutes I notices we are a sticky sweaty mess, but I don't care as I reach up and pull Jasper closer to me.

"Babe that was…" I had never seen Jasper at a loss for words until this moment and I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face as I kissed him.

"I know love." I say as I feel him shift and leave the room bringing back a washcloth. I change while he grabs his duffle bag and soon we are back in my bed held in each others embrace as I loose all sense of time and fall into a blissful sleep.

The next thing I hear is the alarm blaring and as I open my eyes I am alone with the sun shining in my room…

**AN: I hope everyone enjoyed it :) Wish I could take all the credit, but I can't The "Lemon" was done with help by **_**Calamityjen**_**- Check out the story ****Long Distance**** and also **_**Navygirl114**_**- check out her story ****Walking from a Reverie. ****This would have never gotten done without their help. Please let me know what you think :)**


	39. The Morning After

**AN: I own nothing… Thank you to everyone who reviewed :) This chapter doesn't have too much going on; it's more of a filler for the next chapter. I have decided there may be about 4 more chapters after this one. **

**~38~**

_The next thing I hear is the alarm blaring and as I open my eyes I am alone with the sun shining in my room…_

**EPOV- **

I slam my hand onto the alarm to stop the annoying beeping as

I shoot out of bed and I look around the room for any sign of Jasper. When I don't see his duffle bag my heart beat quickens before I remember that he had taken it to the bathroom the night before. I sit on my bed starting at the partly open bathroom door, I wanted to go in and see if his things are still there, but I couldn't. I knew he had left me, mom always told me no one wanted me.

_I should have known Jasper would leave sooner or later. _With that though, I lay back in bed pulling my knees up and curling into a ball.

I could feel tears falling as I silently allowed myself to cry.

I cried about my past,

I cried about the pain I still dealt with,

And lastly I cried about the loss I felt without Jasper…

**JPOV- **

The sun was shining into Edwards's room as I woke up. I was facing him; one of my arms swung over his storage, there was a single ray of sun shining into his room, landing on him, making him look like an angel.  
Edward is truly amazing and as I thought about the night before I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face. Edward had not only let me touch him but he had allowed me to see him without his shirt on, I hadn't till that moment realized just how many scars he had. He was perfectly beautiful to me; even now as he sleeps he's perfect. I still couldn't believe how amazing last night was, I loved that he took control and gave me the best orgasm I had ever had. I stretch my stiff limbs as I glance at the clock noticing that its only 6:30. Slowly and quietly I make my way out of bed and to the kitchen to make breakfast in bed for Edward. It took me almost no time to find all the ingredients I needed to make French toast, with bacon, eggs, and milk.

I wasn't as good as a cook as Esme but once I am done I noticed that it did look somewhat edible. It was 7:10 by the time breakfast is ready and I'm making my way back up the stairs. Carefully I open Edwards's door and step inside. The room looked just how it had when I got up, except for one thing, Edwards sleeping from was no longer in his spot, instead it was in mine and he was on top of the covers curled into a ball. The second I heard a sob escape him I almost threw the tray down onto the desk and ran to him, I couldn't think of anything that would have caused him to wake up crying, that is until I remember I had forgotten to remind him to take his medicine last night.

"Edward, what is it?" I ask as I kneed next to the bed gently touching his shoulder. "Was it a nightmare?" I ask as he lifts his tear stained face to look at me.

"I… though… you… left." He says between sobs. His words just about break my heart as I crawl back into bed with him, wrapping my arms around him as I do so.

"Edward I wouldn't leave you. I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed. I didn't mean for you to wake up and think I was gone. I love you I wouldn't leave you, why won't you believe that?" The last bit of my speech is said in a whisper, not truly meant for him to hear.

"She always told me no one would want me. I'm sorry Jasper." I don't say anything as I lift his chin up to look into his eyes.

"She was wrong." I say as I crash my lips to his. His lips fit perfectly with my own and I can't help the lingering thought of wanting to always be here with him. I only pull away once we are both breathless.

"You made breakfast?" Edward asks once his breathing returns to normal. His question reminds me that our breakfast was sitting a few feet away getting cold.

"Yep babe, sit up I'll grab it." I say giving him one last peck on the lips.

**EPOV- **

I couldn't believe how stupid I was for thinking that Jasper would leave me, he always told me he wouldn't I need to start trusting that. The breakfast he made was perfect though I could barley concentrate on eating while Jasper sat next to me eating, without his shirt. Noticing his shiftlessness I also noticed my own, though I tried to stay calm and not bring attention to my ugly scar filled body as I attempted to cover myself with a blanket.

Soon our breakfast is being interrupted by Jaspers cell phone ringing.

"Hello, Rose?" He says as he finished chewing. Though is sounds more like, hewo, Row? I sit and wait to know what was going on as I listened to half of the conversation.

**JPOV-**

"You did what?" I asked Rose.

"_I told you, I called the school and excused our absents from school today." _Rose explains for a third time. 

"Really." it was Friday and I didn't want to leave Edward alone while I went to school.

"_Yes but Emmett and I are going to have to come over there soon so father doesn't notice." _I roll my eyes when she tells me this; I wanted a day alone with Edward.

"Ok Rose, I'll see you both soon." And with that I hung up and turned my attention to Edward.

"Looks like we're all playing hooky from school today." I tell him as I get out of the bed and grab our dishes to take them to the kitchen before the others show. "Rose said they'll be here soon so we may want to get dressed." I add knowing Edward would hate to be shirtless when they showed, already I could see him attempting to cover himself from me.

"Thanks for breakfast love." He says before he also stands. "I think I'll take a shower first." I just nod at his words, not trusting my voice at the thought of Edward in the shower.

It takes almost half an hour for Edward to come down stairs and allow me to go and shower and by the time I am done and leaving the room I can hear Emmett and Rose already inside.

"Hey Jazzy." Rose says as she hugs me. "Have a good night?" She whispers for only me to hear.

"Hello Rose." I say before I answer her question. "Bet it was as good as yours." I say before going and sitting next to Edward on the couch.

"So we're playing hooky, what should we do today?" Em says breaking the silence.

"Let's go see a movie!" Rose says jumping off of the couch and grabbing her coat. "I wanted to see that movie Black Swan."

The three of us guys groan at this, though we quickly comply grabbing our stuff and heading out the door. Rose jumps into shotgun as Edward and I get into the back seat of Emmett's Jeep.

We drive to Port Angeles so that we won't be seen skipping school. Rose decides that we should see the movie before going to lunch and all of us deciding to be smart agree with her.

The movie wasn't totally horrible, seeing as I was able to hold Edwards hand throughout it and then lunch afterwards also went well. It was when we get back to the house and see Alice staring at us with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Hey guys, feeling better?" She says staring at Emmett and me. "I mean really Em, mom and dad just left and you choose the first day without them to play hooky? AND you didn't tell me?" I look to Edward for a little help on dealing with the pixie.

"Hey don't look at me, I wasn't ditching." Edward said with his hands raised as he backs away from us, a smile playing on his face.

Suddenly my cell phone goes off.

Saved by the bell, I think as I leave the group to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"_Jasper," _My dad's voice says on the other end. _"I think we need to talk, where are you?" _He sounded agree as he talked.

"I'm at the Cullen's house, what's wrong dad?" I feel suddenly worried. It was unlike my dad to really care where Rose and I were.

"_Just come home, now."_ I don't get a chance to answer as the line goes dead.

**AN: I hope everyone enjoyed it :) **

**I haven't seen Black Swan yet it was just like the first movie that popped into my mind.**

**Sorry for all the changing POV's so much. Some of you may be happy where others of you will be sad to hear that I have finished the last chapter of this story, though it's not time to post just yet. **

**My first FF story is almost complete. Please check out my other stories :) I'm currently writing a Seth/ Edward (shifter & vampire) story with a bunch of twists, a Jasper/ Edward (vampire), and I'm co-writing a Jacob/ Edward (shifter & vampire) story. Also a vampire academy Christian/Rose story.**


	40. Jaspers Father

**AN: I own nothing… Thank you to all my reviewers. Ok so my postings may become very scattered right now, see ending AN for more details. Sorry for the short chapter.**

**~39~**

**JPOV-**

"Hello?"

"_Jasper," _My dad's voice says on the other end. _"I think we need to talk, where are you?" _He sounded agree as he talked.

"I'm at the Cullen's house, what's wrong dad?" I feel suddenly worried. It was unlike my dad to really care where Rose and I were.

"_Just come home, now."_ I don't get a chance to answer as the line goes dead.

"I have to go home." I say as I stare at the phone. "Dad needs to talk to me." I could feel my heartbeat quicken as I grab my wallet and my keys and jump into my car and drive away, leaving everyone looking at me shocked. The drive home seemed to take forever and all I could think about was getting home to see what was wrong.

"Hello?" I yell as I open the door and walk in.

"I went fishing with Charlie Swan and Billy Black this morning." My dad says not even saying hello. "They gave me some interesting information." The hate I felt from his eyes made me want to cringe, but I stood my ground as he continued. "I hear you've been dating someone, secretly."

Suddenly it hits me, he knows. I don't know how he found out but he did.

"I hear you've been dating Edward Cullen." His voice is now filled with anger as he stares at me hate clear in his eyes. "You. Are. Gay!" His words felt like a punch in my gut as he spoke.

"Dad please," Is all I'm able to get out before being interrupted.

"NO, I don't know why you are trying to make me a bad father. After your mother died I have done my best to support you and Rose and this is the thanks I get, a fag for a son? No I won't stand for it, pack your bags and get out of my house."

He storms off and I hear his bedroom door slam. I could feel the tears threatening to fall as I made it to my room and packed up everything I could before quickly leaving the house and heading back to the Cullen's, wishing everyone else would be gone and I could just lay in Edwards arms.

"Jasper, what happened?" Rose was the first to greet me as I walked into the house, a bag in each hand.

"He found out that I'm gay Rose, he kicked me out." I'm full out crying now, as she wraps her arms around me.

"I'm sorry Jasper, so sorry. I love you." Rose said trying to calm me down just as the others come into the room.

"Jazz?" Edward voice comes from right beside me and I quickly let go of Rose, needing to feel Edward needing to know he wouldn't leave me.

"Dad found out about us, he kicked me out of his house." I cry speaking only to him, like no one else was there in the room with us.

"Jasper, please do cry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for," I hold my finger up to his lips, cutting off what he was saying as I look at him. He has fresh tears in his eyes and he looked so ashamed.

"Edward I love you, I don't regret being with you. None of this is your fault so please don't say sorry." I don't wait for a reply as I lean forward and crash our lips together not caring that our siblings are watching us.

"I love you too Jazz." He says once we pull apart.

"Do you think I could crash hear for a while, just till I find a place?" I ask not wanting to intrude.

"Jazz man, you know you are always welcome here." Emmett says slapping me on the back as he helps me with my bags. "Though once mom and dad get back you may have to be moved into your own room. You know their rule about no couples sharing beds."

I should have known it would be Emmett who would bring that up, it was always Em who had to be reminded that Rose couldn't spend the night in his bed.

Finally we reach Edwards room and Emmett leaves us.

"Jasper, are you sure you're ok?" Edward asks after we had been in his bed for almost half an hour without speaking.

"I will be love." I assure him as I cuddle closer to him loving the warmth and love I could feel from him. "Edward how would you feel about going on a double date this weekend?"

"Jasper, I love Emmett but I really don't know if I would like to double with him." Edward says rather quickly.

"Not Emmett, I was thinking about your friends from group, Peter and Jack." I say suddenly wishing I hadn't brought it up, for fear that he wouldn't like the idea.

"Really Jasper, are you sure?" he asks twisting till we are face to face.

"Yes Edward I'm sure. They seem nice and they are your friends."

**AN: What did you think? Yes I know it was short and I hope all of you don't hate me for Jaspers father. I know a lot of you wanted his dad to be ok with him, but this was already a part of the story and it couldn't be changed.**

**Ok so here is what is going on….**

**About a month ago my friend told her twin and me that she couldn't remember what happened the night she went out with a guy we were friends back in high school. (We are 22 so that wasn't too long ago) She did tell us that she had a drink but that she watched him pour it so she thought it was safe (She went to his house). Last week she had a routine dr. appointment and it came out that she thinks she was raped. She admitted that when she woke up from "the sleep" she only had on his shirt and her undergarments. He was wearing nothing. They were in his bed. She even now admits to feeling sore. She can't remember what happened. HE is now not answering her calls or messages. The dr. said it could take months before we know if she got any disease. I am posting this AN for all of you, reminding you that even if you kind of know a guy, you can never be too careful about what you are drinking and if you ever wake up with no memory of the night before and you feel "off" you may want to go into a clinic and get tested to see if something happened. **

**After all that has happened in my personal life I am having trouble with the lemon parts of this story. I can't seem to get anywhere close to it without thinking about my friend and what she believes she went though. If there's any reader who's interested in helping out a lot then please message me. **


	41. Loving, Shopping, and Double Dating

**AN: I own nothing… Thank you to all my reviewers. I believe this is the second to the last chapter, I haven't decided yet if there will be an epilogue, my decision will be made with how many reviews I receive for these last chapters. (Please see end AN for more story info) This chapter is slightly fast pace, so take a big breath and here we go…**

**~40~**

**JPOV-**

The weekend went by smoothly, mostly. Dad kept calling trying to get a hold of Rose who wouldn't go home, since she was "choosing me over father", her words not mine. I hated the days that were spent trying to ignore all of HIS phone calls; I was getting really tiered of him trying to get to Rose when she obviously didn't want to see him. The guy should really get a clue or something.

I enjoyed every night I had at the Cullen's home. I would fall asleep every night in Edwards's arms, his bare chest up against my bare back. He was starting to become more and more comfortable around me. We hadn't done anything since Thursday night; with our siblings also in the house we didn't want anyone hearing anything. In the mornings I would notice that our position would change, I would wake up with his back up against my chest

**-Monday 1/17**

"Morning Love." I say as I turn to slam my hand down hard on the annoying beeping alarm clock.

"Morning Jazz." His sleepy voice replied as he stretches and then snuggles closer into my chest. Whether it was an accident or on purpose I don't know, but while snuggling closer to my chest his body also snuggled closer to my morning wood, making me moan with need, causing him to laugh. "Um, Love, why are we awake so early? I thought today was no school, being Martin Luther King Jr. Day."

"It is Edward but that sister of yours demands that we all go shopping today." I tell him as I give him a soft morning kiss. Suddenly there's banging on the door.

"You two better get up and ready in half an hour, if I have to come and get you out of that bed you won't be happy." Alice's high pitched perky voice said, coming from the other side of the door.

"Guess that means we should jump into the shower." Edward says as she slowly detaches his body from mine. I watch his muscles bunch as he stands and stretches, his bottoms riding low on his hips, giving me a perfect view of his happy trail and I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face when I saw his tented pants. "Are you coming?" He asks with a smirk on his lips, as if he wants me to get his double meaning.

We hadn't yet showered together, nor have we actually explored the others body in the bright light that the bathroom would give off.

My morning wood diffidently liked the idea of cumming in the shower with Edward. I followed her lead and get out of bed, stretching quickly before I move to walk past him.

"I'm not Cumming, yet. Maybe you would like to help with that?" I whisper into his ear, letting my warm breath brush against his ear. I smirked as he lets out a low, soft moan.

"I would love to cum with you Jazz." His voice is husky with want as he follows me into his bathroom.

I'm hesitant to shed my own pants as Edward moves to turn on the shower. I watch him as he stretches forwards his muscles moving within his slim form. Before he turns back to me he sheds his pants, though he doesn't turn to me right way. I don't remembering taking off my pants, but soon I am flush up against him, holding him to me so that he could feel me.

"Edward, you look so amazing." I say my voice filled with love and need.

Edward ducks his head into the crook of my neck and holds me tight. He kisses my neck and breathes me in. We start to caress each other's bodies, exploring every part. I tell him again that he is beautiful and he shows me his love and appreciation by kissing me and touching in the most loving ways. The kisses and touches become urgent and needy. My body is pressed up against Edward's as I move him against the shower wall. I run my hands down his chest until I reach my prize. I take his rock hard erection in my hand and begin to pump him slowly. Up and down, repeating my actions and then sliding my thumb over his slit spreading his pre-cum over his sensitive head. He hisses at the contact and throws his head back against the wall. He doesn't even register that he has hit his head bringing his head forward and kisses with me with so much passion, lust, want and love. His eyes are dark green and hooded a he looks at me while moving his hand down my body and taking my aching cock into his hand. He spreads my pre-cum over my throbbing head and we begin to pump in rhythm with each other.

The movement becomes urgent as we both chase our release. The only sounds are the running water, skin slapping, moans and our mutual please for release. We kiss each other and I look into his beautiful greens and say, "Cum with me Edward." No sooner had I gotten out his name that we both cried out our release. Our legs shaking we hold onto each other as we ride out our orgasms. When we come down from our blissed out state we look at each other, whisper I love you's, kiss some more, and begin to wash each other lovingly. We caress each other's bodies taking it all in. We both have the same look of love and adoration in our eyes as we take in each other's bodies.

Edward turns off the water and steps out of the shower first grabbing a towel and telling me to get out so he can dry me off. I grab the other towel and we begin to dry each other off. We go back into the room to get dressed and off downstairs to meet up with Alice who has been waiting for us. Before we head downstairs I grab Edward around his waist and pull him to me kissing him breathless. He asks what that was for and I tell him that we will have to take more showers together while I waggle my eyebrows at him. Edward shakes his head chuckling and says, "Yes, I agree with you. I love seeing you naked and wet. I answered by saying that I couldn't agree more. The thoughts of Edward naked and wet had me adjusting myself in my jeans with Edward laughing at me. We take each other hands and head downstairs to go see what Alice is up to.

**~Ten Minutes Later~**

We are crammed into Emmett's jeep, with Emmett driving and Rose riding shotgun. Edward and I are in the back, with Alice who had claimed the middle seat forcing Edward and I to sit one on each side of her.

"Oh, stop your pouting!" Alice says as she leans back in her seat and stretches her arms to go around our shoulders. "This is going to be so much fun, with Jasper moving in we have so many things to get for his room." I hated that Alice had insisted on redoing one of the guestrooms for me, she didn't even have Esme and Carlisle's permission. But here we are on our way to the mall to buy lord knows what for the room that was already furnished and decorated in a simple navy color.

"Alice, just don't go overboard, please." I say groaning as she started talking about colors to paint the wall. The choice was between purple, pink, or periwinkle (whatever that is) and to be honest none of the colors sounded good to me. "Alice I may be leaving for college in the fall I really don't need the room to be redone."

"Oh shush, you'll love it." Was all she said, making me groan as I looked out the window at the passing trees just whishing to get this shopping time over with so I could be alone with Edward. The parking lot was packed as we pulled in and I could hear Alice sigh and say something that sounded like _we should have been here sooner._

"Alice we are early enough." Emmett says as he finds a spot and parks. "Ok guess this is it. Let's get this over with so we can get home and watch the game tonight."

"Emmett you can't rush shopping, we will be done when we are. Now let's get in there I want to go to JC Penny's." With that the little fireball took off towards the store and we quickly followed her. Once inside I could feel Edward tensing at all the commotion.

"You ok?" I whisper as I grab onto his hand letting him feel that I'm there.

"Just don't let go?" He whispers back as he forces himself to smile.

"I'll never let go love." I say as I give his hand a slight squeeze and walk in the direction Alice had ran off to.

Three hours later and we are still at the mall, I could never understand all the shopping girls can do. Edwards's stomach growled loudly making me look at him.

"Baby, are you hungry?" I ask looking at him concerned. Edward was finally starting to gain weight and I didn't want him to go without eating, especially with the medicine he still takes.

"Yeah, but Alice told us not to interrupt her shopping for any reason." He was starting to shake as if he was afraid he did something wrong.

"Love, its ok." I say raising his head to look at me. "Let's tell the others that it is lunch time. I'm getting hungry too." I add the last bit in hopes that he would calm down.

"Alice it's time to stop for lunch." I say just as Edward whispers about needing the restroom and he'll be right back and no doesn't need anyone to go with him.

"Jazzy stop being a wimp we still have a few more hours of shopping, you can wait till we are done." She says in a dismissive tone.

"Alice, Edward's hungry and he's afraid to say anything because you threatened us about not interrupting your shopping." I say as I watch her annoyed expression disappear and be replaced with a frown.  
"Well he could have just said something, ok guess we should eat. Dad warned us to make sure he ate." I almost laughed at how fast her emotions changed.

It was hitting the five minute mark when I started to wonder if I should maybe go and make sure everything was ok. Before I could decide to go in after him, he came out, though not alone.

**(I so wanted to leave it here just to have a cliffy, lol but I didn't)**

"Jasper, you know Peter and Jack, right?" Edward asks me as I recognize the two boys I happen to have been very rude to Thursday at school.

"Yes hello, sorry about the other day at school, I shouldn't have been so rude." I say to them as Edward introduces the others to them.

"We were just going to grab lunch, you'll join us right?" Alice says as she practically starts to pull Edward towards the food court. "Dad told us to make sure you eat, so let's go."

"You said something to her." Edward accuses as he follows Alice.

"Um, I guess we're joining you." Jack says looking slightly confused.

"Why not, I think Alice said something about paying anyway." I say as the three of us practically run to catch up to Edward and the rest of the group.

**Edward POV- **

That night I lay in bed with Jasper in my arms. I would miss this once my parents arrived back home sometime Friday or Saturday, I knew their rule on no sleeping in the same bed as your significant other. It's not like Jasper and I were doing anything, he was always so careful with me, almost as if he believes I am made of glass and he made of stone.

Thinking back to our mall excursion I could hardly believe it when Jasper invited Peter and Jack to double date with us. He had mentioned it to me, but I half expected for it to never happen. I knew Jasper was going to get very busy with senior things at school and I knew graduation would be here before I knew it. Jasper didn't seem to mine the whole time thing as he suggested the four of us go out Saturday night to dinner and that tea house Jazz had taken me on our first date, guess they were having another poetry reading.

I couldn't help the wide smile on my face as I snuggled closer to Jasper, loving the feel of his body against mine. After what happened I was convinced I would never have this kind of relationship, and now, well here we are, shirtless with our bodies as close as we can get it without going all the way.

"I love you Jazzy." I say to his sleeping form just as I start to drift off.

The next morning Jasper, Emmett, and Rose decide that they have to go to school. Seeing as our parents would never leave us at home again if they ditched the entire week.

"Bye, have fun." I mock as the four of them head off to school.

**~TIME PASS~ Friday afternoon**

The week flew by as I spent my days working on my online classes and my nights with Jasper, except for Wednesday night when I went to group and finalized things with Peter and Jack for Saturday night.

"Hello, anyone home?" I hear Dad yell as the front door opens.

"Dad!" I say as I leave the piano room and run into his arms. "I missed you both." I say as Esme walks in and I quickly hug her.

"So where is everyone?" Dad asks as he looks around the entryway, as if he expected Emmett to burst out of nowhere.

"School dad." I say as I help them take their things to their room. "I need to ask you both something." I'm nervous about asking, I didn't want to think about them saying no. "Jaspers dad found out about us, he got kicked out of the house. Jasper has been staying here. Alice even redid one of the guest rooms for him and is it ok for him to stay? We're all going off to college once they graduate, so it won't be for long."

"Edward, son, please take a breath. It's ok as long as you listen to our rule about no sleeping in the same bed."

"Don't worry dad. Nothing's going on." I say with a smile as we head back to the living room, since everyone else was now home from school.

That night we all went out to dinner together and everything went well. Even when we announced that Rose also wanted to stay at our house.

But that night lying in bed I found that I couldn't fall asleep, even with the pills I still take.

Quietly I walked out of my room and to Jaspers.

"Jasper?" I whisper as I stand over him. "Jasper?" I try again when I get no answer.

"Hmmm? Edward what?" His sleepy voice says as he sits up.

"I can't sleep, move over." I say as I climb into his bed and curl into him. "Night love." I say and fall straight to sleep.

It was Saturday and almost 5:40 by the time Jasper and I are in his car and heading to meet up with Jack and Peter for our double date. We weren't doing anything fancy; we were meeting Jack and Peter at the Pizza place and then Jasper would drive us to the tea house for the poetry reading.

"Hey guys, sorry we're late." I say as we walk up to Jack and Peter.

"No problem Edward. Hey Jasper, let's go in." Jack says with a smile as we enter the restaurant.

Everything was going great as we talked about what to order and if we were sharing or not. After a slight debate we decided on two medium pizzas, one bacon and chicken, the other combination. The night was going smoothly, that is until we left to go to Jaspers car.

"Hey fags." A guy's voice said behind us as him and two others approach us.

"Where are you going?" One of his friends said.

We ignore them as Jasper wraps his arm protectively around me.

"Let's get out of here." Peter says as him and Jack follows us to the car.

"Now fags you're ruining our fun." One said taking a step forward attempting to block our path.

What happened next happened so fast I didn't even see it coming till it was over.

The stranger before us reach forward as if to grab me. Thing is he wasn't fast enough, Jasper was able to quickly stop him and twist his arm back.

"Don't even think about it!" He all but yells, calling attention to us. "Just leave us alone." He says leaving an unvoiced threat hanging in the air as he lets go.

"There always has to be someone stupid around." Jack says making us laugh as we load into the car.

It was definitely a great night.

**AN: Thanks for reading. The Shower scene was done by Navygirl14 (Thank you again)…**

**I must now break the bad news; I have decided to NOT make a sequel of this story. Though maybe I can be convinced otherwise. Last chapter coming to you soon, it is finished **


	42. The End of the Beginning

**AN: I own nothing.** **Here it is the last chapter of this story. I would like to thanks everyone who has taken this journey with our boys. Also for helping me complete my first FF story but all your wonderful reviews… :)**

**ENJOY!**

**Last Chapter**

**JPOV- **

Rose looked absolutely beautiful as our father walks her down the isle. Her beautiful strapless dress flowed beautifully behind her and I could feel tears forming. She looked like an angel and I couldn't be happier for her as I stood next to Edward who was standing by his brother the groom. I could see Esme crying in the front row as Rose passes her, though I'm fairly sure they are tears of joy.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" The Pastor asks.

"We do." My father and I say at the same time.

"Please be seated." The Pastor says addressing our family and friends.

Then the ceremony began.

**~Three months ago~**

I was so happy that we were finally graduating. Rose stood next to me as we walked side by side to the ceremony.

"Emmett William Cullen" The announcer says as our principle shakes his hand and gives him his diploma.

"Amanda James Epperson"

"Henry Charles Gregory"

"Jasper Whitlock Hale" Finally it was my turn and I smiled as Mr. Robinson handed me my diploma and congratulated me, just as the announcer called out Rosalie's name.

I remember next to nothing our senior speaker says as I sat there next to Rose whispering about her upcoming wedding.

"Rose, Jasper." I hear our father call after the ceremony as we walk over to the Cullen's. I really didn't want to walk over to him; we hadn't spoken since he kicked me out all those months ago. But for some reason I didn't know at the time I followed Rose over to our father, she gave him a slight hug. She hadn't talked to him since that week when he kicked me out.

"Jasper, I would like to talk to you. Please." He adds the last part quietly. I don't look at him and I don't say anything as I nod, waiting for him to continue. "I've been a fool; I shouldn't have acted the way I did. Just when I heard about it I was shocked. Jasper, I've already lost my wife, please don't tell me I have lost my son because of my own stupidity and through that my daughter. You're both moving for college, if you leave I may never see you again." There were tears in his eyes, dad never cries, except for at mothers funeral.

"You'll see me again. But I can't trust you and I'm staying at the Cullen's house. Maybe in time I can learn to trust you." Just as I say that Edward chooses that time to come up to me.

"Jazz, congratulations." He says wrapping his arms around me.

"This is my boyfriend, Edward Cullen. Love, this is Rose and mines father." I say quickly before I could lose my nerve.

"Hello Edward, it's nice to meet you." My father says though he still looks unsure about the situation.

"Um, yeah you too." Edward says giving me an unsure look.

**~Back to present time~**

"I am pleased to announce, for the first time in public. Mr. and Mrs. Emmett Cullen." The preacher says as he officially ends the ceremony and we all erupt into cheers.

An hour later we are finally done taking pictures and heading into the reception hall.

"Will the bride and groom please come to the dance floor for the first dance of the evening?" The dj calls over the mike.

None of us knew what song Emmett chose for the first dace. That was his deal with Rose; she could do anything for the wedding as long as their first dace was his choice.

The first few notes started as from the sidelines I could hear Rose start to laugh.

"Emmett, really?" Is all I can hear her say as they begin to dance.

**Rose POV-**

Everything had gone perfect, and then it came time for our first dance.

"Rose I hope that tonight and for the rest of our life together that you will be my princess and allow me to be your prince." Emmett my husband says as the music starts to play. I recognized it easily and couldn't contain my laugh.

"Emmett, really?" I say with a smile at his song selection. "I love you." I whisper as we started to dance…

_Tale as old as time_

_True as it can be_

_Barely even friends_

_Then somebody bends_

_Unexpectedly_

_Just a little change_

_Small to say the least_

_Both a little scared_

_Neither one prepared_

_Beauty and the Beast_

_Ever just the same_

_Ever a surprise_

_Ever as before_

_Ever just as sure_

_As the sun will rise_

_Tale as old as time_

_Song as old as rhyme_

_Bitter sweet and strange_

_Finding you can change_

_Learning you were wrong_

_Certain as the sun_

_Rising in the East_

_Tale as old as time_

_Song as old as rhyme_

_Beauty and the Beast_

_Tale as old as time_

_Song as old as rhyme_

_Beauty and the beast…_

"Rose you are the beauty to this beast. I love you." He says giving me one last kiss as the last notes of the song ends.

After the song was over I searched for Jasper. He looked amazing, I doubt he had taken any notice but his acne had cleared, the boy that he was only a few months ago was gone, leaving a young man in his place. I knew Jasper would be as happy as I am. Because I knew Edward was perfect for him. I just hoped he could see that now and not screw it up. Jasper had told me only three days ago that he was worried about going off to college with Edward. He was afraid that the sheltered boy he loves wouldn't want him after meeting so many other cool people.

But I knew Jasper was wrong. I could see it in Edwards's eyes, Edward loves him.

**Jasper POV-**

They both looked amazing as they danced around the floor. I was smiling big as I watched Rose, knowing that she was now married to the man, who is at times stubborn, annoying, childlike, a fool… But he was also kind, gentle; he was the first to get her to laugh after our mother's death. He loved her with all he had, I knew that, and loved him for it. He tried so hard to be perfect for her. He made her happy.

After the father daughter dace it was my turn to dance with Rose. It was her idea to have a private dance between the two of us.

"Rose, you look absolutely amazing." I say the fifteenth time.

"Thanks Jazz." Our entire group had taken dance lessons for this wedding and I was thankful for it because I really didn't want to embarrass myself.

The rest of the night seemed to fly by in a blur as we ate, drank (apple cider), and laughed.

That night we all had our own rooms in the hotel.

"Jasper I want you tonight." Edward says as we walk towards our rooms. "Please join me in my room?" I could tell he is nervous as he speaks, like he was afraid I was about to reject him.

"Edward, are you sure?" I ask as we get to my room.

"Yes love. Please." He practically begs as I open my door.

It takes me only five minutes to grab my toothbrush and a change of clothes and then we are off, on our way to Edward's room.

Once the door clicked behind us, I threw the clothes I had gathered in no particular direction before Edward led me to his bed. He had his arms around my neck as he fervently kissed me before I was pushed onto my back. I watched his eyes, filled with passion and determination as he straddles my hips, bent over me as he sucks and licks behind my ear.

"...Mmm...Edward...Are you...really sure about this?" I was surprised at the hoarseness of my own voice.

He slowly pulled back before looking me in the eye, "Jasper, I...are you not sure about this?" I felt the fear radiate from him...He still didn't seem to understand how impossible it would be for me to deny him, anything.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair before looking up at him again. "Edward, if there's anything I'm sure about it's you. I want this more than you know...I couldn't reject you if I tried." He smiled a bit, no longer tense above me.

Despite our having had such a serious moment, Edward didn't hesitate to continue where he left off. It was like my skin was on fire everywhere he touched me. One of his hands was on my chest for balance as the other worked at pulling my shirt off. He moved his lips back to mine which gave me the opportunity to take over a little. I licked his bottom lip, asking for entrance which he quickly granted. I moaned into his mouth as I tasted him. It was a taste like nothing else I have ever tasted.

He started to fumble a little as I reached a hand around his back to squeeze his ass a bit. I felt his excitement build which led to my own cock straining against my pants, begging for a release. I only let go of him when I decided that we were both still too clothed. We were both breathing heavily as I all but ripped his shirt off. I craved to see more of his god like body immediately.

I could clearly see the harsh scars that didn't belong on my angel's body but they were of no importance to me. I could tell he disagreed but I quickly stopped him protesting as I bit onto his nipple. His back suddenly arched and he let a gasp that only made my pants tighter. I made a sound like a growl as he ground his own hardness into mine. Oh the things he did to me.

I gently moved us so I was that on top of him and directed my attention to his neck as I removed his pants. I hesitate a bit, slightly afraid of going too far but he groaned in frustration at my hesitance and bucked his hips. I threw his clothes someplace, though I didn't know where. I'm pretty sure if I could I would have ripped my jeans off with my impatience...they too were quickly discarded.

"Jazz...J-Jazz...mmm...more...please more..." his eyes were hazed with lust as he ground his member into mine, eliciting a low moan from both of us.

His body was almost trembling beneath me with need. Both of us were on edge and it was incredible. My tongue seemed to have a mind of its own as I made a trail down his chest to his ready cock. I watched as his eyes widened a fraction before I took him as far down my throat as I could. He started to moan and slur incoherent words that sounded like "hell...good...more" I started to bob my head up and down his length, paying attention to the underside with my tongue which made him writhe beneath me in pleasure. He was gripping the bedding for all he was worth, biting his lip as he moans loudly, egging me on. I licked the tip a bit before I took him deep again, lightly dragging my teeth as I did so. I repeated the motions until he was almost begging to cum but I didn't want that to be how he got his release...I wanted it to be my taking him all the way if things went right. He whimpered slightly and my cock twitched again once I met his glazed eyes.

"God, Jasper, please, I need you. Please..." He pulled on his nightstand drawer, an indication for me to open it. I quickly found lube and some condoms, _my boy was planning this, _I thought trying to contain my smile as I ask one more time. I wasn't sure anyway..."Once I start I'm not sure I can stop...You really—"

"Dammit Jazz, do I need to beg?" He panted heavily with his words. Any other time I would have chuckled at the way his eyebrows were knitted together, obviously flustered.

I said nothing before I spread his legs and put one over my shoulder. I could feel my heartbeat quicken as I coated my fingers with lube and then started to prep him by inserting one finger at a time. He hissed a bit at first but it didn't take long before he was pressing himself into my hand. I started to roll on the rubber once I saw he was ready. I took a breath and readied myself fully covered with the condom and plenty of lube at his entrance. He nodded, holding his legs a little wider.

I gently pushed inside him, moaning at the warmth and intensity. I had to focus on not hurting him to keep my slow pace. He grunted once in discomfort but again was quick to ease and relax. "You alright, love?" I breathed.

"God yes, m-more...move, Jazz, please..."

We both moaned loudly as I pulled almost all the way out. I started to repeat this until I found a rhythm. I pulled his other leg over my shoulder, going for that particular sweet spot as he started to arch his back and all but scream my name. I was going to come undone with his noises alone...

"Jasper! Oh! There, yes, there!" His back was arching off the bed again as he made his hips meet my every thrust. I found myself moaning and grunting in ways I wasn't aware I could while I started to get closer and closer to edge.

"Baby, are you close? God...please tell me you're close, Edward, love?" I started to thrust a bit harder with the hopes of pushing him further as well.

"Y-yes! I'm going to...ungh, I'm going to cum!" He yells before shouting my name a final time before he is cumming all over our chests beneath me. I was quick to follow, feeling myself shudder slightly with the intensity of my orgasm. I was panting for air by the end of it and once I pulled out I threw out the used condom, using a warm cloth to wipe our chest as I lay myself down on his chest. I could hear his frantic heart beneath me.

"That was...That was...Ugh, I can't think of the word, Jazz..." he panted a tired smile on his face. I hummed in response, nodding as I started to catch my breath again and come down off my high.

I could feel his hands play through my hair before I climbed up to his level and pull him close for a kiss. "Thank you Edward, thank you so much."

**Edward POV-**

"No, thank you Jasper. I never knew I could feel so good. I love you." I say snuggling into his arms.

"I love you too Edward." He says back as I watch his eyelids start to fall closed. I yawned once, before letting my own exhaustion take over, contented with the man I love holding me. I was looking forward to our future together as we go off to college and start a new chapter in our lives.

_Through the bad,_

_And through the good,_

_I never knew what my life would come to…_

_No longer alone,_

_I've found my home and a place my heart can dwell._

_But the thing is my story is not yet over,_

_Some might say its barely began. _

_So now all I have to do is take the leap,_

_And as long as I'm with Jasper, _

_I know I can do this._

**AN: The lemon was written by: x-xMatsukiKurosux-x, Thank you so much for the help. Ok so I hope you enjoyed this. Again I will state there may not be a sequel, I'm going to try and see if I can come up with a new story for it and I'll post a new chapter here if I do post a sequel. Oh and if you didn't know, I don't own the song above. Thank you to everyone who took this journey with our boys :) **


	43. Chapter 43

**Sequel is planned…**

**It will be called All I Have Learned.**

Credit for the name must go to Raven's Twimom, who has also helped me some with the plot.


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